Sometimes you need a little more fulfillment, the same way you need sunlight and sleep. Going and volunteering for a couple of hours a week will give you all kinds of feel good chemicals and be its own motivation to continue once you start. I enjoy volunteering outdoors because its typically more chill and I’m killing like, three birds with one stone by volunteering outside with physical labor (exercise!).
I once volunteered for about a year doing a 3d printer lab at a library. It quickly became a commitment that I would dread every other Sunday and it burned me out so I had to stop. It put me off from wanting to volunteer again. I'm generally a helpful person and don't mind sharing my time with others, but the work like commitment really ruined it for me. Maybe if I didn't have a full time job it might have been more enjoyable.
Or maybe I'm actually an awful person that lied to myself about my ability to be generous. Idk.
You’re not a bad person for not being able to keep up with it! It’s literally unpaid labor. The key is finding volunteer work that doesn’t feel like work and leaves you energized after you’re done with it. For you that wasn’t helping out with 3D printing, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can volunteer for that’s fulfilling to you.
nah, you've got to be able to recharge, and people take a lot. an entire year of sundays is a long time. take a break, and if you're able your library would love to have you again, as would your community. if once a month is something you're more able to do long term, they'd say yes.
That, but I also don't want to go to sleep because (1) there is a strong association in my mind between "going to sleep" and endless feelings of frustration and (2) I've just started feeling like half a human, now that I've forced myself awake for more than 12 hours, and just because it's "late" you want me to try to go unconscious again instead of maybe getting at least SOMEthing done?!
If I'm actually being productive at bed time, fsck it. I'll get back in sync later.
But, I think most of the time I stay up too late, I'm not actually accomplishing anything. I'm either playing games that I will enjoy just as much, maybe even more, if I practice good sleep hygiene. Or, I'm letting some recommendation algorithm drip-free me neurotransmitters, and that's not worth disrupting your sleep routine.
I had a terrible sleep schedule for many many years. Then I got a night shift job. The discipline it took to swap my day and night and then swap it back was what I needed to maintain a solid sleeping schedule. I have for 5 years now. It really does improve every other facet of your life when you aren't living through sleep deprivation.
If 300mg of Trazadone every night doesn't fix my insomnia, I'm not sure how much going to bed at a set time or not using my phone in bed are going to help matters.
While science is basically never absolute, and those bits of science aren't particularly strong, it's really worth a try.
Forgive me if you've already given it a try and know it doesn't work for you. That's unclear from your post, and not the vibe I get from it. I know not everything works for everyone.
Sleep hygiene does have a very strong correlation to life satisfaction. I really hope you can find the later, even if not via the former.
Oh, already tried it, but thanks for your concern, unfederated friend.
I do the whole "No blue light after 10 / the bed exists only for sleep and sex / screen time management / etc etc etc".......still maybe 4 hours of shitty tossing and turning per night.
yeah, same here. if i'm not both sleepy and in position to sleep at the start of my rem cycle, i'll be awake for the whole damn thing. and more awake for the next if i try to go to bed in the middle of it.
non 24 sleep cycles are fuuuuun. currently living in LA time and loafing in Lahore time.
While i like this quote in a vacuum, you should be aware that this is the description of the book where it came from:
Man, The Unknown is a best-selling 1935 book by Alexis Carrel which advocated, in part, that mankind could better itself by following the guidance of an elite group of intellectuals, and by implementing a regime of voluntary eugenics.
I've encountered this as: the elephant and the rider. The rider knows where they're going and can attempt to guide to elephant. The elephant can do the traversal. If the rider has no direction, the elephant will just wander. If the elephant doesn't want to do something, there's not much the rider can do. Take care of your elephant so you can be on the same page, but know that you cannot reason with or force it.
I've unfortunately seen this metaphor weaponized for workplace management where employees are viewed as dumb beasts that need the ankusha.
There's also when you do all that stuff, and it works, and then you go, "Alright, I've found the solution, but now that I figured it out it's boring and I'm going to go back to my bad habits."
40 Comments
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 27 pts · 79d
Sometimes you need a little more fulfillment, the same way you need sunlight and sleep. Going and volunteering for a couple of hours a week will give you all kinds of feel good chemicals and be its own motivation to continue once you start. I enjoy volunteering outdoors because its typically more chill and I’m killing like, three birds with one stone by volunteering outside with physical labor (exercise!).
LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 79d
I once volunteered for about a year doing a 3d printer lab at a library. It quickly became a commitment that I would dread every other Sunday and it burned me out so I had to stop. It put me off from wanting to volunteer again. I'm generally a helpful person and don't mind sharing my time with others, but the work like commitment really ruined it for me. Maybe if I didn't have a full time job it might have been more enjoyable.
Or maybe I'm actually an awful person that lied to myself about my ability to be generous. Idk.
Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 79d
You’re not a bad person for not being able to keep up with it! It’s literally unpaid labor. The key is finding volunteer work that doesn’t feel like work and leaves you energized after you’re done with it. For you that wasn’t helping out with 3D printing, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can volunteer for that’s fulfilling to you.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 79d
nah, you've got to be able to recharge, and people take a lot. an entire year of sundays is a long time. take a break, and if you're able your library would love to have you again, as would your community. if once a month is something you're more able to do long term, they'd say yes.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 5 pts · 79d
nope, it’s just most people are trash, the disadvantaged included
i volunteered for the homeless for a few years and while many were good people, plenty were not
Viceversa@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 79d
Killing birds is bad!
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 18 pts · 79d
"fix your sleep schedule" like it's easy
It's called "insomnia", not "I don't wanna go to sleep".
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 14 pts · 79d
That, but I also don't want to go to sleep because (1) there is a strong association in my mind between "going to sleep" and endless feelings of frustration and (2) I've just started feeling like half a human, now that I've forced myself awake for more than 12 hours, and just because it's "late" you want me to try to go unconscious again instead of maybe getting at least SOMEthing done?!
bss03@infosec.pub · 9 pts · 79d
If I'm actually being productive at bed time, fsck it. I'll get back in sync later.
But, I think most of the time I stay up too late, I'm not actually accomplishing anything. I'm either playing games that I will enjoy just as much, maybe even more, if I practice good sleep hygiene. Or, I'm letting some recommendation algorithm drip-free me neurotransmitters, and that's not worth disrupting your sleep routine.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 4 pts · 79d
just go to sleep and ignore the republicans burning our country/world down
Elting@piefed.social · 3 pts · 79d
I had a terrible sleep schedule for many many years. Then I got a night shift job. The discipline it took to swap my day and night and then swap it back was what I needed to maintain a solid sleeping schedule. I have for 5 years now. It really does improve every other facet of your life when you aren't living through sleep deprivation.
AnchoriteMagus@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 79d
^^ This.
If 300mg of Trazadone every night doesn't fix my insomnia, I'm not sure how much going to bed at a set time or not using my phone in bed are going to help matters.
bss03@infosec.pub · 7 pts · 79d
While science is basically never absolute, and those bits of science aren't particularly strong, it's really worth a try.
Forgive me if you've already given it a try and know it doesn't work for you. That's unclear from your post, and not the vibe I get from it. I know not everything works for everyone.
Sleep hygiene does have a very strong correlation to life satisfaction. I really hope you can find the later, even if not via the former.
AnchoriteMagus@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 79d
Oh, already tried it, but thanks for your concern, unfederated friend.
I do the whole "No blue light after 10 / the bed exists only for sleep and sex / screen time management / etc etc etc".......still maybe 4 hours of shitty tossing and turning per night.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d
yeah, same here. if i'm not both sleepy and in position to sleep at the start of my rem cycle, i'll be awake for the whole damn thing. and more awake for the next if i try to go to bed in the middle of it.
non 24 sleep cycles are fuuuuun. currently living in LA time and loafing in Lahore time.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 2 pts · 79d
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220107-the-lost-medieval-habit-of-biphasic-sleep
sleep like the industrial revolution tells you too!
your life must revolve around your work
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 79d
they don't know what it's like in my sleep. THEY can go in there.
HellieSkellie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 79d
Alexis Carrel
Bysmuth@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 79d
While i like this quote in a vacuum, you should be aware that this is the description of the book where it came from: Man, The Unknown is a best-selling 1935 book by Alexis Carrel which advocated, in part, that mankind could better itself by following the guidance of an elite group of intellectuals, and by implementing a regime of voluntary eugenics.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 79d
i agree the quote would be better changed by adding an indefinite article to the beginning:
works better, takes out the eugenics
zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev · 13 pts · 79d
I've encountered this as: the elephant and the rider. The rider knows where they're going and can attempt to guide to elephant. The elephant can do the traversal. If the rider has no direction, the elephant will just wander. If the elephant doesn't want to do something, there's not much the rider can do. Take care of your elephant so you can be on the same page, but know that you cannot reason with or force it.
I've unfortunately seen this metaphor weaponized for workplace management where employees are viewed as dumb beasts that need the ankusha.
Goun@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 79d
Umm yeah, I need a new elephant, please
zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev · 5 pts · 79d
Just get the spare out of the trunk.
Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 79d
Which one? Mine has two...
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 79d
sounds like a great song lyric dude. do you write?
velma@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 79d
How is this so accurate lol
bss03@infosec.pub · 10 pts · 79d
The animal and owner bit is basically id and ego, so it's a observation that's older than I am (and I'm from the 1900s).
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 9 pts · 79d
Tom Papa: it's like you're your own pet, and some people aren't good at caring for pets
rumschlumpel@feddit.org · 4 pts · 79d
I'd definitely take care of a pet better than I'd take care of myself! Probably still not well enough to make me a good owner, though.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 79d
I fucking love Tom Papa. His delivery, his subject matter, the punchlines. All around freaking awesome.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 2 pts · 78d
"You're doing great"
Objection@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 79d
There's also when you do all that stuff, and it works, and then you go, "Alright, I've found the solution, but now that I figured it out it's boring and I'm going to go back to my bad habits."
recklessengagement@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d
Ahhhh fuck this is relatable
EyIchFragDochNur@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 79d
"Some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by you" doesn't have to be your attitude. The world isn't bad, only humans are.
ltxrtquq@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 79d
I've seen some pretty horrific things come out of nature, I'm not so sure about that
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 79d
NSFL click at your own risk
horrific nature stuff above, just wanted to prove name i can't pronunce above's point. thants for your consideration
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 79d
Nature isn't malicious, but that doesn't stop it from fucking you up.
adarza@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 79d
o goodie! a song now stuck in my head.
sweet dreams
EyIchFragDochNur@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 79d
But it's a lie 🤫 no lords, no slaves
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 79d
who am i to disagree with you?
oh right, I'm not the YMCA. I disagree! (i don't really but it's in the song)