Alright, hear me out: You're washing your strap-on in the kitchen sink, and it's prominently drying on the counter when you get stuck trying to get something out of the dishwasher!
It'd be madness if no one took advantage of this opportunity!
I don't fold the laundry because I want to have sex with her.
I fold the laundry because I'm the other adult in this house, therefore I take on the adult tasks, and when she isn't worn out from doing all the housework herself, she has sex with me.
38 Comments
haerrii@feddit.org · 37 pts · 50d
That's kinda... wholesome
Keepthoseeyeslockedonmine@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 50d
First class problem solving!
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 50d
But I poop from there
HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works · 40 pts · 50d
Not right now you don't
clucose@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 50d
Afterwards it comes out as milkshake.
diablomnky@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 48d
Is this what they song meant about "milkshake bringing all the boys to the yard"? Is it really a Dommy Mommy anthem?
psycotica0@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 50d
Poopin' that D!
adarza@lemmy.ca · 15 pts · 50d
this one hits a little harder bc she's a lookalike to my first gf.
silicon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 50d
Not sure who this is but they look like Daisy Ridley to me.
Keepthoseeyeslockedonmine@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 50d
Is her attitude similar?
adarza@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 49d
not hardly. she wouldn't even do it in her parents' hot tub.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 50d
Eehhhh we just broke up and my ass is going un-pegged for too long...
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 7 pts · 50d
If I can trust the internet, the world is full of opportunities.
I mean siblings and step mothers and fathers and you know what I mean...
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 50d
Loool yeah, guess i just have to get stuck in the washing machine and some step family member ive never met will "help me"
psycotica0@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 50d
Alright, hear me out: You're washing your strap-on in the kitchen sink, and it's prominently drying on the counter when you get stuck trying to get something out of the dishwasher!
It'd be madness if no one took advantage of this opportunity!
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 50d
Apes together strong. This is how you brainstorm as a team.
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 3 pts · 50d
Apestorm! APE! STORM!!!!
Gonzako@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 50d
Or they'd tell you to get high and peg yourself
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 49d
/c/selfposted
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 1 pts · 50d
Okay, I do the first step, what now?
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 50d
Boyfriend: "I want more adventurous sex!"
Girlfriend: "Great, will you help me with the laundry and the dishes first?"
pmk@piefed.ca · 44 pts · 50d
Transactional sex is not worth it. Both should take care of chores, and both should want sex for its own sake.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 50d
It's nice to have sex in a house that feels clean and on bedsheets that aren't soiled.
Im_old@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 50d
yet
adarza@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 49d
might as well wait until after to wash the linens.
Skullgrid@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 50d
If they are both working, right? Right?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 48d
Whether they are or not. Clean up after yourself.
Grimy@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 50d
I'm designing a Roomba strong enough to support two people sitting on it for this very reason. There is a way to satisfy everyone.
Archimedes@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 50d
Hey baby. You, me, and the roomba. How about it?
Slovene85@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 50d
The roomba boomba
CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 48d
I don't fold the laundry because I want to have sex with her.
I fold the laundry because I'm the other adult in this house, therefore I take on the adult tasks, and when she isn't worn out from doing all the housework herself, she has sex with me.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 48d
Demonstrating maturity and relieving your partner of household chores leaves more opportunity for intimacy
CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 48d
Yeah, you like that? You like when I act like a functional adult?
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 48d
😘
daggermoon@piefed.world · 5 pts · 50d
mommy
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 48d
If she loses one of her legs, she can strap a dildo to the stump and call it her peg leg.
texture@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 50d
cool sign
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works · -4 pts · 50d