::: spoiler NSFW
“Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3 feet and 3 inches tall and 63.9 pounds. This means they’re large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water-based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact: If you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat combined with Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.”
:::
31 Comments
toiletobserver@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 8d
MonkeMischief@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 7d
I always cackle at the oblivious silliness of this abominable little creature, seemingly unaware of how obnoxious its mere existence is. XD
ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 8d
King Kong was here
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 8d
Donald Trump is a corrupt pedophile
daggermoon@piefed.world · 8 pts · 8d
This:
::: spoiler NSFW “Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3 feet and 3 inches tall and 63.9 pounds. This means they’re large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water-based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact: If you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat combined with Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.” :::
druidgreeneyes@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 8d
Giant post-it note that says “Empire State Building”
Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org · 8 pts · 8d
"To the airport" and an arrow in the right direction.
qualia@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 8d
For airships?
fiendishplan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 8d
You have all disappointed me
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 7d
The other people itt? Or is that what it would say?
fiendishplan@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 6d
That's what the banner would say. The people on Lemmy are ok.
HeyJoe@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 8d
Lemmy loves beans
Or
The entire Bee movie script
RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 8d
"Scott was here"
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 8d
SEND HELP
isleepinahammock@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 8d
Spoilers due to all caps.
::: spoiler spoiler
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A TERRORIST GROUP AND A MILITARY IS THE SIZE OF THEIR BUDGET. :::
boaratio@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 7d
"Yeet the rich!"
PragmaticOne@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 7d
'Americans are stupid'
The majority have let the minority take control :/
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 8d
"LIGMA"
qualia@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 8d
"TIL Lunch atop a Skyscraper photo was taken on 30 Rock."
Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 8d
“Is it today?”
squirrel@cake.kobel.fyi · 3 pts · 8d
Banner McBannface
yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 8d
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN
treadful@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 8d
"3/24/2027"
LORDSMEGMA@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 8d
"Go Red Sox!"
zxqwas@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 8d
Penis lol
rmuk@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 7d
"Help I'm trapped in a slogan factory."
happysplinter@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 8d
Eat Shit
luthis@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 8d
Was this meant to go in the shitty ask community?
newtraditionalists@kbin.melroy.org · 2 pts · 8d
This is way tall yall! Be careful!
palordrolap@fedia.io · 2 pts · 8d
YOLO
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 8d
The world is absurd right now so something like "It's a Mistakes!".