I let one in the other day and heard the spiel, she seemed so grateful someone agreed to hear her out. I didn't buy anything but don't mind brightening they're probably shitty day when I have the time.
I have one hand-written one, taped to the door, back of an envelope.
No soliciting
No exceptions (underlined)
Along with another set of instructions to deliver packages to the back, indicating I expect goodies if you show up at the back door, and I wont answer the front.
It has made a huge difference because people are taught in solicitation training to assume that no soliciting stickers that look maybe old are potentially from a prior owner and should be disregarded. (I’ve had this training personally and balked at it - I’d never risk bothering someone who explicitly doesn't want to be bothered, even if I'm wrong and they don't care and it was from someone prior) low quality stickers look old after a couple years, you shouldn't have to replace them, but thats why I don't bother with them at all.
Haven't had too many experiences with men (yet), but 100% of the times I've been hit on by a man in public they were overstepping boundaries and not once was my initial no respected.
Considering I've been threatened with rape and murder SEVERAL TIMES from people who knew my number, my vibe check has a high bar. If they don't pass it, they get the number for a psychic reading.
Or just... give them your number. If they're interested, they'll contact you. If they aren't interested, they would have given you a fake number, made excuses, blocked you, etc. anyway.
Seriously more people need to hear this. And if you're worried about giving out your number to a stranger then it should be obvious that other people would have the same concerns about you. Hence the whole fake phone number thing
In general every "I just women would be honest and blunt with me" type complaint I've ever heard from men I know IRL has come more from a place of trying to increase social pressure on women to go out with men they don't want to go out with and not so much a genuine desire for closure. The more I got to know them, the more increasingly clear that always became to me.
Accidentally posted before I was ready and deleted it. Oops.
Yes, I agree.
Men can be in danger. Women can be the perpetrators. That is often not the case.
In the case of dating, on average, it is more dangerous to be a woman. Just saying no to a man can end poorly. You cannot always tell who will become violent.
If the man hurts or kills you, you are likely not going to get justice.
Giving out a fake phone number prevents a lot of this.
If your feelings are hurt by getting a fake phone number, I genuinely am sorry. But a life is more important than feelings.
It's really hard to find an equivalent scenario that men can envision. The salesperson one is ok.
I did notice that men on this thread have also (correctly) pointed out it can be dangerous for men encountering door to door salespeople too. It may be illuminating for them to imagine this salesperson and think about what gender the salesperson is likely to be.
That's actually good idea. Glad I am out of dating world. But if I ever had to endore that shit again. I just make up business cards with my contact details and use those. Maybe with little about me and yeah give them all the power.
35 Comments
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works · 44 pts · 26d
Wait, people make excuses at the door? I just rudely say no and immediately close the door.
if they have a problem with my rudeness, well, maybe they shouldn't be ringing my doorbell.
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 33 pts · 26d
It's not rude. They interrupted your peace at home, no reason to have flowers shooting out your ass as you gently nudge them away from your door.
Slam that motherfucker.
Speculater@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 26d
I have 3 no soliciting signs. Lol.
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 26d
I would start printing off stickers and whenever someone knocks anyway, just grab another one, and stick it directly onto them.
A forehead stamp would be better, but ink might get the cops involved...
Drusas@fedia.io · 7 pts · 26d
I've only had one salesman knock every since I put one up. When he started talking, I just pointed at the sign and he apologized and left.
Everyone should get such a sign.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 26d
I let one in the other day and heard the spiel, she seemed so grateful someone agreed to hear her out. I didn't buy anything but don't mind brightening they're probably shitty day when I have the time.
fizzle@quokk.au · 4 pts · 26d
They are undoubtedly having a shitty day, it's a low paid job where you just grind it out getting 99 rejections to land 1 lead.
I'm not rude but I don't entertain them for a moment either. "Sorry mate, I'm not interested. Thanks, good bye".
ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 25d
I have one hand-written one, taped to the door, back of an envelope.
No soliciting
No exceptions (underlined)
Along with another set of instructions to deliver packages to the back, indicating I expect goodies if you show up at the back door, and I wont answer the front.
It has made a huge difference because people are taught in solicitation training to assume that no soliciting stickers that look maybe old are potentially from a prior owner and should be disregarded. (I’ve had this training personally and balked at it - I’d never risk bothering someone who explicitly doesn't want to be bothered, even if I'm wrong and they don't care and it was from someone prior) low quality stickers look old after a couple years, you shouldn't have to replace them, but thats why I don't bother with them at all.
chloektboehnchen@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 33 pts · 26d
Haven't had too many experiences with men (yet), but 100% of the times I've been hit on by a man in public they were overstepping boundaries and not once was my initial no respected.
darvocet@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 26d
chloektboehnchen@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 26d
I dont exactly get to choose which type of guy is hitting on me.
Also, please make sure you're following the rules of this community, thank you.
Wren@lemmy.today · 23 pts · 26d
Considering I've been threatened with rape and murder SEVERAL TIMES from people who knew my number, my vibe check has a high bar. If they don't pass it, they get the number for a psychic reading.
kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 26d
Or just... give them your number. If they're interested, they'll contact you. If they aren't interested, they would have given you a fake number, made excuses, blocked you, etc. anyway.
FearMeAndDecay@literature.cafe · 16 pts · 26d
Seriously more people need to hear this. And if you're worried about giving out your number to a stranger then it should be obvious that other people would have the same concerns about you. Hence the whole fake phone number thing
EmilieEasie@fedinsfw.app · 14 pts · 26d
In general every "I just women would be honest and blunt with me" type complaint I've ever heard from men I know IRL has come more from a place of trying to increase social pressure on women to go out with men they don't want to go out with and not so much a genuine desire for closure. The more I got to know them, the more increasingly clear that always became to me.
i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 26d
Accidentally posted before I was ready and deleted it. Oops.
Yes, I agree.
Men can be in danger. Women can be the perpetrators. That is often not the case.
In the case of dating, on average, it is more dangerous to be a woman. Just saying no to a man can end poorly. You cannot always tell who will become violent.
If the man hurts or kills you, you are likely not going to get justice.
Giving out a fake phone number prevents a lot of this.
If your feelings are hurt by getting a fake phone number, I genuinely am sorry. But a life is more important than feelings.
It's really hard to find an equivalent scenario that men can envision. The salesperson one is ok.
I did notice that men on this thread have also (correctly) pointed out it can be dangerous for men encountering door to door salespeople too. It may be illuminating for them to imagine this salesperson and think about what gender the salesperson is likely to be.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 26d
Fragile, insecure egos can't take the hit.
Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 26d
Wren@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 26d
Have you had a chance to read the rules for this community?
Fredselfish@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 26d
That's actually good idea. Glad I am out of dating world. But if I ever had to endore that shit again. I just make up business cards with my contact details and use those. Maybe with little about me and yeah give them all the power.
Wren@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 26d
Maybe check out the rules of this community.
Astronut@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 26d
I had a Direct tv installer at my house hooking up a new system years ago and a week later he killed a whole family next town over so…
Wren@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 26d
Are you following the rules of this community?
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 26d
I see nothing suggesting they aren't. No hate, no bigotry, no politics, no anything except someone saying something that supports the above post.
Wren@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 26d
https://lemmy.zip/comment/27998478
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 26d
Cool, but that came after your initial comment, for which I saw no rule breaking.
Wren@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 26d
Didn't have to, I already knew it was a guy.
EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 26d
Wren@lemmy.today · 13 pts · 26d
Weird that you're giving me a harder time than the dude who came in here to troll.
velma@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 26d
The fediverse isn't very large. It is very common to run into users you recognize from other places.
Taleya@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 26d
They were politely giving them a heads up as to the gender requirements for commenting.
We can be a lot less polite if you like
Astronut@lemmy.zip · -11 pts · 26d
Rules is for fools! I’m not really the community type. How about you kick my ass out!
athatet@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 26d
Wow gross.
Malyca@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 26d
Holy shit I'd sleep with one eye open
fizzle@quokk.au · 4 pts · 26d
This is just rage bait.
Of course women can do whatever they want to do to feel safe.
I don't think the salesman / fake number thing is a reasonable analogy though.
Wren@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 26d
If this is ragebait you must be throwing tanrums daily. Have you seen the rules for this community? Try not to take them too personally.
fizzle@quokk.au · 1 pts · 25d
Actually no, that's not really true at all.
i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 26d