Merry Mitchmas Eve to all those that celebrate

I suspect we'll be hearing about how Mitch "suddenly passed" some time in the next 24 hours.

276 points · 18 comments · view on lemmy.world

18 Comments

jballs@sh.itjust.works · 107 pts · 7h (12 replies)

Dear FBI surveillance team,

This post is not in anyway a threat. It is merely a prediction of the end to the Weekend at Bernie's situation going on with Mitch McConnell. Since today is the last day a special election can be called upon his death, I expect they'll thaw out his corpse tonight and announce his official death tomorrow.

Warm regards,

jballs

HumanOnEarth@lemmy.ca · 75 pts · 6h (3 replies)

Dear jballs,

Dude, I'm just as tired of this shitshow as you are. My boss is a drunk frat boy, his boss is a rapist pedophile, and I'm just trying to feed my family. We're good.

  • Your assigned FBI agent who has to pretend to be a random Lemmy user
Rhaedas@fedia.io · 36 pts · 6h

Maybe the FBI agents were just the friends we made along the way.

CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 6h (1 reply)

Dear Jballs and HumanOnEarth, we here at the CIA have a dead pool going on when the “announcement” will be. I have it for the 7th at end of day. If anyone wants in on this action let me know

unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 2h

Dear Et Al,

No One has seen the subject at an undisclosed location, kept alive by a rudimentary pumping merchantman /edit mechanism

  • what?
Gork@sopuli.xyz · 25 pts · 6h (4 replies)

The white Flowers By Irene van is certainly not outside your house right now.

Widdershins@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 6h (3 replies)


It looks like Shackleford got there first.

crystalmerchant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1h (2 replies)

Lmao what is this from? Can't find it

Widdershins@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1h (1 reply)

Thr Silence of the Lambs. Dale Gribble has without a doubt watched that scene.

very_well_lost@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 18m

RIP Rusty

pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 6h (2 replies)

You inspired me to make a community. I had no idea there wasn't a real best of lemmy on lemmy yet

https://sh.itjust.works/c/best_of_lemmy

ToiletFlushShowerScream@piefed.world · 8 pts · 4h (1 reply)

Doing good work

pelespirit@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 4h

Thanks man.

procrastitron@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 5h

I think they would have incentive to still keep him on life support until the next congress is sworn in.

Until then he and his staff keep collecting paychecks.

It also guarantees the seat stays vacant for as long as possible, whereas announcing his death now leaves open the possibility that the governor appoints a replacement which might stand up even if they try to sue to block it.

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 6 pts · 6h

"Relapse"

LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net · 6 pts · 1h

I feel like it wouldn't be possible to hide the time of death for so long. My guess is he's simply incapacitated but we'll see.

ToiletFlushShowerScream@piefed.world · 6 pts · 4h (1 reply)

He's got to be getting stinky by now

SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 3 pts · 1h

You can be stinky while alive. Case in point Trump