Yep, 100%. A crush on a friend or acquaintance is not a “love of your life.” You could be completely convinced a person is right for you, but if they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you, you’re wrong.
ew. this sounds like something narcissists say from the tate-brothers-manosphere when talking about their definitions of 'worth' when giving the reasons of icing out because no one is going to fuck them and therefore a waste of their time.
That's not the point. The point is not to get yourself so emotionally wrapped up in someone before you even know how they feel about you that it actually fucks you up when they don't feel the same. That's the kind of shit that sets all these dudes that fall into the manosphere off in the first place.
"Don't sit around for months/years putting someone you don't actually interact with on a pedestal and dreaming of some fantasy future together when you can't even gather the courage to ask them for drinks" is not some manosphere bullshit.
That's like the standard for a healthy approach to dating.
The pining part is HOW people get drawn into the manosphere. They put all their eggs in one basket, strike out because they've made it weird, and then decide it's all women that are the problem, not their terrible approach.
It didn't take long for the manosphere to fall: our enemy was ruthless. Efficient.
But they weren't nearly fast enough, for Aqivex@fedinsfw.app had already passed the torch.
And because of them, we found 196@lemmy.blahaj.org(idr I'm going by memory alone), unlocked its secrets, shattered our enemies' resolve.
Our victory — their victory — was so close, I wish lightnsfw@reddthat.com could have lived to see it.
sure, there's lots of fish in the sea -- but the sea is also fucking massive, and full of hungry sharks that look like other fish. At a certain point, going in the water is not, can not be worth it.
There's lots of fish out in the pond
In the oceans and the rivers and in all the waterfalls
But if I'm made for land and not the sea at all
Could I crawl and find some kind Neanderthal?
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Give only what you can afford to lose and give that freely already having made peace with the possibility of failure, and most of your surprises will be pleasant ones. It's a balance. You are doing good by others in opening your heart. Continue the practice, and you'll only get better at it. Stronger in the face of loss. More visible in the eyes of those who actually would love you - by baring who you are so they won't miss out.
27 Comments
wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 86 pts · 7h
If they don't love you, they aren't the love of your life, just someone you were infatuated with.
TheRealKuni@piefed.social · 36 pts · 6h
Yep, 100%. A crush on a friend or acquaintance is not a “love of your life.” You could be completely convinced a person is right for you, but if they don’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you, you’re wrong.
tetris11@feddit.uk · 38 pts · 7h
Just once, I want someone to reassuringly place their arm on my shoulder, look me comfortingly in the eyes, and say "we'll bang, ok?"
Th4tGuyII@fedia.io · 29 pts · 7h
Who better than
ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip · 33 pts · 5h
Don't invest so heavily into people you've never asked out.
That took me way too long to figure out.
Smoogs@lemmy.world · -18 pts · 4h
ew. this sounds like something narcissists say from the tate-brothers-manosphere when talking about their definitions of 'worth' when giving the reasons of icing out because no one is going to fuck them and therefore a waste of their time.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 16 pts · 3h
That's not the point. The point is not to get yourself so emotionally wrapped up in someone before you even know how they feel about you that it actually fucks you up when they don't feel the same. That's the kind of shit that sets all these dudes that fall into the manosphere off in the first place.
ParlimentOfDoom@piefed.zip · 12 pts · 2h
What the fuck are you talking about?
"Don't sit around for months/years putting someone you don't actually interact with on a pedestal and dreaming of some fantasy future together when you can't even gather the courage to ask them for drinks" is not some manosphere bullshit.
That's like the standard for a healthy approach to dating.
The pining part is HOW people get drawn into the manosphere. They put all their eggs in one basket, strike out because they've made it weird, and then decide it's all women that are the problem, not their terrible approach.
Aqivex@fedinsfw.app · 6 pts · 4h
It ain't like that, abusive and such. It's more like, not investing enough to finish the
BlindPenguin@piefed.social · 6 pts · 4h
Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 3h
It didn't take long for the manosphere to fall: our enemy was ruthless. Efficient.
But they weren't nearly fast enough, for Aqivex@fedinsfw.app had already passed the torch.
And because of them, we found 196@lemmy.blahaj.org
(idr I'm going by memory alone), unlocked its secrets, shattered our enemies' resolve.Our victory — their victory — was so close, I wish lightnsfw@reddthat.com could have lived to see it.
But they belong to Lemmy.
Aqivex@fedinsfw.app's body, Aqivex@fedinsfw.app's comments — all banned and handed off to archive.org.
Everything.
... except their courage.
That, they gave to us.
And with it, we can rebuild.
Edit:
copy-pasted lightnsfw's handle instead of the correct one for this hand-crafted copy-pasta, just kill me, end my self-imposed suffering
Aqivex@fedinsfw.app · 1 pts · 29m
Comrade. It was perfect without the edit.
Jax@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 2h
nodiratime@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 5h
"Love of my life"
A good first step is not using that for a person you barely talk to.
Oni_eyes@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 7h
"But you're not in the sea, you're in the desert. Alone."
MousePotatoDoesStuff@piefed.social · 2 pts · 5h
and then I see the pyramids and realise that a Pizza Hut is nearby.
Ediacarium@feddit.org · 12 pts · 7h
Looks like us men really need to learn consoling in that talk therapy style women are using
volore@scribe.disroot.org · 7 pts · 7h
sure, there's lots of fish in the sea -- but the sea is also fucking massive, and full of hungry sharks that look like other fish. At a certain point, going in the water is not, can not be worth it.
AiricaFyresong@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 7h
There's lots of fish out in the pond In the oceans and the rivers and in all the waterfalls But if I'm made for land and not the sea at all Could I crawl and find some kind Neanderthal?
zaphod@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 7h
There are plenty of bugs under that rock over there.
Codpiece@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 6h
The other fish in the sea….
MousePotatoDoesStuff@piefed.social · 5 pts · 5h
looking terrible because they're out of their element? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLGSaa72kGg
QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 6h
This is how I would look at said bro.
WanderWisley@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 5h
Edges@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 5h
The Killers - Just Another Girl
Draegur@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 6h
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Give only what you can afford to lose and give that freely already having made peace with the possibility of failure, and most of your surprises will be pleasant ones. It's a balance. You are doing good by others in opening your heart. Continue the practice, and you'll only get better at it. Stronger in the face of loss. More visible in the eyes of those who actually would love you - by baring who you are so they won't miss out.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 12m
there are 32,000 species of fish.
we only eat like 100 of them or so.