Hegseth pauses busy schedule of inspecting soldiers’ scrotums to make weird comments about Canadian teens’ bodies
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/09/hegseth-pauses-busy-schedule-of-inspecting-soldiers-scrotums-to-make-weird-comments-about-canadian-teens-bodies/
232 points · 12 comments · view on lemmy.world
12 Comments
Amuro_eat@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 28 pts · 7d
What a severely repressed individual. I can’t wait for him to drink himself to death.
Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 7d
Not suprising for the pedo sex-addict government
20cello@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 7d
Is this real? I mean the scrotum thing?
Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 7d
Even if not. It just shows how fucked this time rn is that it seems real
ZDL@lazysoci.al · 6 pts · 6d
And the saddest part of all is that this is only PARTIALLY satire. The Secretary of (Botching) War really did turn his pedophile eye to Canadian teens.
The USA is a fucking embarrassment and should just "unalive" itself at this point.
Pistachio@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 7d
Its a bit misleading, he's actually checking testosterone levels by a taste test.
Hope that clears things up!
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 6d
hes checking thier ball sizes too.
GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 6d
"The Court orders Mr Hegseth to place the soldiers pubical sack in his mouth and draw upon it succulently for no less than 30 seconds."
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 6d
Looking for a chosen one who's got just one
Rentlar@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 7d
No, but he announced testosterone testing, then after one day of having this plan effective, they rolled the testes tests back.
jesse@piefed.ca · 6 pts · 7d
No, the Beaverton is satire (and very funny). It's sad how we have to double check the source extra carefully these days though.
Reannlegge@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 6d
I love that I read the title and thought yeah old news, to see that it was the beaverton that wrote it, I am going to check out the article now.