This is not a puritanical issue. I have no problem with porn in its place in life.
I have no desire to control anyone else's body, to shame or judge anyone for sharing themselves online or elsewhere.
Even if I feel there are unanswered questions that our society has not really tackled yet with the speed of change the Internet created, I'm still broadly ambivalent about porn.
As someone with a background in studying historical social attitudes especially around gender, sex and equality we've taken a step forwards I believe, but with more to do.
But I just don't have any interest in seeing stranger's genitals. Genitals can be a lot of fun of course, I have the superpower of enjoying whatever I find in a partner's pants.
I just don't think the fun part is looking at them. When I see a lady spreading her legs in a pose of "check this out" I'm left cold. Yes. Very nice. Gonna keep scrolling.
If I am seeking out porn I'd much prefer something with dignity, make it erotic over explicit.
I think finding an unannounced vulva in my Lemmy feed is a little like an unsolicited dick pic, except it's not aimed at me.
The photos where she's spreading her labia make even less sense to me. Yes, it's a hole. I know how they work. Unless you're hiding something up there that's not the interesting part, and if you are that's not arrousing, just entertaining!
I'm working on the assumption that these things are popular just because of the prevalence. Be funny to find out that this is a normal perspective and those people are sharing their cocks and fannies for a niche audience.
19 Comments
ruuster13@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 15h
When it shows up in your social media feed, it is unsolicited. Lemmy doesn't allow you to enable NSFW without getting porn the way Reddit does. It's one of the things the fediverse still needs to figure out.
FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 14h
Do you mean: * [comma] the same way reddit does
?
Edit: asks question which would lead to clarifying what OP actually means and possibly learning something new along the way, gets downvoted instead
kip@piefed.zip · 0 pts · 6h
is this some sort of ascii porn
TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 14h
I like it when i seek it out, it's annoying seeing porn on my all feed, even if it turns me on, sometimes because it turns me on.
If there's a post with optional NSFW, like how anxious misha does with her posts, I like that best, as I can choose if I'm in the mood to read that
cRazi_man@europe.pub · 7 pts · 15h
It's not unpopular to say an unsolicited or unexpected explicit pic in social media feed is unwelcome. A lot of people would agree. I've spent ages setting up my Lemmy app so I don't see explicit content when browsing c/all. A better way to filter certain content out of my personal feed would be very much appreciated.
Here's something I hate even more than an unexpected asshole close-up: the constant politics in everything. I want to enjoy dumb memes. I don't need to see your ideological flag waving specific to your country. Please give me better content filters for all types of content.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 9h
One thing that I would love to see developed for the Fediverse would be a way to categorize the various magazines.
I would love it if I had a single switch I could click that would turn off all sports, news, or politics related magazines with a single click.
If I'm getting very particular, it would be great if there were a way you could flick a switch and make it so that when you're viewing NSFW content, you don't see nsfw guys or women or couples or whatever your ick is. Yeah, I just wish there were ick filters.
A few extra levels of customization, both incredibly broadly grained and slightly fine grained would be super helpful.
wraekscadu@vargar.org · 5 pts · 15h
Different people get turned on by different things. Sexuality is quite a subjective experience.
I get the urge to vomit at the sight of a vagina. But a butthole (on a person lacking a vagina) turns me on, even out of context. The sight of a dick out of context however, is just meh/mildly annoying. I'm gay. I'm not a pure top. Go figure.
cadekat@pawb.social · 9 pts · 13h
Getting the urge to vomit at the sight of any healthy human body part isn't something to be proud of. As someone who's spent years in gay relationships, I find this particular flavor of misogyny especially disgusting.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 9h
It might not be misogyny. Maybe they have some personal trauma regarding female anatomy.
There's all kinds of people, some people get the urge to throw up when they see a Brussels sprout.
wraekscadu@vargar.org · 1 pts · 6h
It's definitely not something I'm proud of lol.
That being said, people have subjective preferences. A vagina looks like a wet, big wound to me. Like a really deep cut. With liquid that looks infected. It makes me want to puke. That's not me consciously saying, "it's disgusting". It's a reaction that comes from a part of my brain that I have no control over.
Me finding vaginas disgusting does not equate to me hating women. Many trans men have vaginas. Do I find them less disgusting cuz they belong to men now? No.
I'm as libertarian as it gets when it comes to nudism and personal liberty. Every person should have as much freedom as they want (both, culturally and legally) when it comes to nudity in my opinion. However, I do have the freedom to look away from something that I don't like seeing. I'm all for body positivity in the sense that noone must be ashamed or whatever for having any type of body.
That being said, you should definitely be ashamed for making an absolute mockery of the issues women face in society. I'm not a woman myself, so I can't truly understand these issues the way a woman can. But, I can guarantee that there's no feminist out there enraged by the fact that a gay dude finds vaginas disgusting.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 3h
Well, ima chime in here.
First, I'm not trying to attack you, only give a perspective on things you may not have considered. But, since doing so is because of something you said, it may seem like an attack without giving a declaration of intent
Where things go off track is that you're saying there's no conscious control of it. That's simply not true. It may or may not be worth the long and difficult process of retraining your mind, but disgust responses are learned. Even the most common ones to smells have a significant degree of built up experiential and social layers that can be stripped away until things like feces and decay become tolerable. Scatole and indole, the twp chemicals that make up the unpleasant side of fecal aroma are tolerable. Not nice, but tolerable, and we've evolved to avoid some things by smell or taste. Sight too, but that's going to be more about coloration, and isn't even certain that it is built in afaik.
Now, I'm not saying you should try to overcome your reaction. I'm not saying you're a bad person for having it. I'm just saying that it isn't something people are born with, and can be changed with enough conscious effort.
Your perception of it being akin to a wound is very inaccurate. I've done wound care. Decades of it k everything from little booboos on knees to gaping holes that slowly killed people. I promise you, a vagina, even one freshly used for sex, doesn't resemble an actual wound. The terms you used, the way of looking at it, is something within anyone's ability to shift. And it starts with knowing that one's subjective and biased perception is inaccurate.
It's like heteros that get disgusted by men fucking. It's a preconception that can be changed. Seeing two men fuck is no more disgusting than two women or two men. It's just genital being stimulated by fellow humans. "But poo comes out of there" is what anti-anal folks think of when they think of anal. "But pee comes out of there" for oral.
Those are constructed perceptions. Those perceptions can be changed if one wants to because, poo or pee coming out of things sometimes doesn't mean poo or pee is coming out it now (unless you're into that, I guess). Seeing vaginas as "nasty" is fully within conscious control, no matter what built up the perception originally.
bold_omi@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 11h
This is not an unpopular opinion.
FluidBeef@quokk.au · 3 pts · 5h
Isn’t this more like a preference than an opinion?
gandalf_der_13te@feddit.org · 2 pts · 15h
same here. i'd like to write a lengthy comment rn but i lack the energy. short version: it's complicated. there's a lot of communication and signals that hide behind the visible surface. and often that is actually very important.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 34m
I'm not sure this is so much an opinion as a personal preference, but I get what you're saying, and it's a good post (as all the comments coming in point to it being of interest for discussion).
My personal preference is weird.
I do like seeing genitals. I have this curiosity about me that if someone offers me a look at their body, with no strings attached, no extra bullshit or hidden agendas, I'm interested. Not sexually, because nudity != sex for me. But just because the human body is cool.
I started losing what little social barriers to seeing nudity in my teens, after I began training to be a nurse's assistant. Skin is just skin, not something exciting in an of itself. It's not shameful or bad. Over two decades of doing the job, I saw not only my patients naked, but some of their family, some coworkers, and of course people outside of work.
And I still think human bodies are cool looking. A lot of variety, a nigh infinite range of features and details.
That includes genitals. I've seen them at all ages, and they're interesting.
What I don't have interest in is unsolicited nudity being weaponized, or with a rude goal. I don't mind being hit on, but if an unsolicited pussy/dick shot is what you think I will respond to, you don't know me, and I don't want to know you because you couldn't be bothered to get to know me enough to realize it would be a bad idea.
CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 15h
There are quite a few I see and think “Damn, I’m not your gynecologist.” Not sexy to me at all. I just keep scrolling and let people live their lives.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 12h
My ex girlfriend was a model who did rated R modeling, she took quite a few risque photographs and ended up in a handful of different magazines for sexy lingerie and things like that.
Some of these women are so beautiful to me that just getting to see their unclothed body or partially clothed body is a wonderful thing.
But I would say in 9 out of 10 photos it is completely obvious that the model is not even slightly turned on.
She's there for her paycheck, and my mental awareness of the story that's happening behind the photograph, the three to twelve people off camera watching, adjusting lighting, doing all of the work to make the photo look as attractive as it possibly can, turns it from being something that I would say is sexy to something that looks clinical and sterile.
Add into that getting to see somebody's insides when they are likely not even slightly aroused is an absolute vibe killer for me.
CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 12h
That’s some good insight. Based on photo quality and messy backgrounds, I’d say quite a few on here are amateur or semi-pro at best.
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 9h
There are professional content creators that focus on the pro-am look, but they are, as far as I am aware, still a minority.
I've also seen a lot of amateur creators that should take advantage of the many free classes that you can take to improve your photography skills.
If they would take them it would elevate their content from like a middling 2 or 3 to an easy 6 or higher for like a couple of hours of self-education.
I honestly prefer the inexperienced people that are doing it to feel attractive, to be looked at and lusted after because they get some satisfaction from doing that while possibly making money on the side over the people that are doing it for a paycheck.
Making NSFW content is acting adjacent. You want the people who are consuming your content to believe that there is some desire to be lusted over in your work.
I refuse to buy or interact with OnlyFans content, for instance, because as far as I'm aware, every single person that is doing it has the mindset of "Everyone says that I'm hot. I'll take some naked pictures and make some money."
I'll respect the hustle, but I'm not gonna partake in it.
And of course, I'm only stating my personal preferences as some regular dude.