This sounds particularly messy. Is there any reason you can't be extremely direct in your next conversation with the ex? Bring up all these exact things. Not in a are you being abused way. In a "hey I've noticed some things and I just wanted to check in on them". Frame it around yourself/the kid and your concern not around them and the potential situation you perceive them to be in. Your kid is involved so you have a reasonable cause for concern. Do you have reason to believe the new person is unsafe in any way, especially in the context of being around your kid? Dr. John Delony has a call in show where this kind of thing is a frequent topic. Some of his content on youtube might be helpful in learning how to frame hard conversations. He is a highly qualified and experienced expert, advice given is professional grade not some youtube grifter. If you speak to a therapist, asking them how to approach the situation is also a viable direction.
I'm gonna need way more context. I haven't used the womensstuff community because it's not a space for me. Who was being intolerant of what? Secondarily, what's the "good side" you were hoping to show off?
I'd have expected a .ml type of thing. Cringe. I don't know the lore behind this user but I'm guessing they were being a prick in womensstuff and this is now trolling/bait.
Early aughts, you mean like 2 years ago in Reddits case and literally today in 4chan's? So its not that Lemmy wouldn't tolerate them, it's that nobody has tried and if they did, it would go well.... We are gonna go in circles. I disagree with you but realistically I'm not the one affected so that doesn't really matter. It sucks you have to deal with any hate. As with our prior pedophile/rape apologist conversation, I'm going to continue to call out shitty behavior and I know you will too. I appreciate the discussion Velma.
That is fair,I do typically avoid Violets posts because of her age. Even at only 32 it makes me a bit uncomfortable. But I'd feel the same if it was a self proclaimed 18 year old male posting about how much they love drinking piss. It's good she can express herself and all, just not my thing to engage with personally. I read through many of the comments and I can't disagree sexsim exists here. I still strongly believe its the small minority and consistently frown upon by the majority. Aside from all that, I just so heavily disagree with that entire last statement lol. Considering lemmy to be even remotely close to old or contemporary 4chan/Reddit is completely insane. It kind of makes me feel you've not engaged with old or contemporary 4chan especially but reddit too. You know both sites have in the past and currently still host literal footage of rape,murder, sexual assault. Especially 4chan, there are at all times a "women rekt" (videos of dead women, them being raped, killed and/or assaulted) threads floating around. Reddit has dedicated misogynistic non kink communities with thousands of participants. The part I think is most important about that also, it has NOTHING to do with an actual ideologic stance. Its about advertising and making money. Thats why subreddits like jailbait, incel , etcetera. Only started disappearing when big money started coming in. Communities and posts like that do not and have not (to my knowledge) exist here. Clearly that's based ideologically not financially. I just really see that last paragraph as so completely ignorant and disingenuous.
But thats what I'm saying. I see the vast majority consistently calling out, downvoting and arguing against that minority. Significantly moreso than any other mixed online space I've engaged with. That's the difference I see and I think is being completely ignored. The overall cultural stance here is strongly against. Whereas every other major platform even remotely like this isn't. I guess pushing for better isn't a bad thing but I see it as a disingenuous angle. If anyone can make an account and engage, shitheads will poke out, its the way they are reacted to that sets the cultural standard. I see the way they're reacted to being highly negative. I see it as, there are some sexist people on Lemmy and they are consistently treated as shitty by the majority. Not, Lemmy is a sexist place for sexist people.
I just see a loud small minority being treated as if its the vast majority. I feel the same about the shitty rape apologist/pedophilic comments you brought up. It just seems disingenuous to paint Lemmy as being a bastion for sexism where it's pushed, accepted and promoted. I wouldn't engage with the site or any of it's communities if that were the case. I'm more suprised that if you believe it is, you choose to.
This sounds particularly messy. Is there any reason you can't be extremely direct in your next conversation with the ex? Bring up all these exact things. Not in a are you being abused way. In a "hey I've noticed some things and I just wanted to check in on them". Frame it around yourself/the kid and your concern not around them and the potential situation you perceive them to be in. Your kid is involved so you have a reasonable cause for concern. Do you have reason to believe the new person is unsafe in any way, especially in the context of being around your kid? Dr. John Delony has a call in show where this kind of thing is a frequent topic. Some of his content on youtube might be helpful in learning how to frame hard conversations. He is a highly qualified and experienced expert, advice given is professional grade not some youtube grifter. If you speak to a therapist, asking them how to approach the situation is also a viable direction.
Tell me about the meme and your question.
That tracks, particularly for .ml communities. I don't think it has anything to do with women, as the OP is pointing to though.
I'm gonna need way more context. I haven't used the womensstuff community because it's not a space for me. Who was being intolerant of what? Secondarily, what's the "good side" you were hoping to show off?
I'd have expected a .ml type of thing. Cringe. I don't know the lore behind this user but I'm guessing they were being a prick in womensstuff and this is now trolling/bait.
What does "the wrong side of lemmy" consist of?
Early aughts, you mean like 2 years ago in Reddits case and literally today in 4chan's? So its not that Lemmy wouldn't tolerate them, it's that nobody has tried and if they did, it would go well.... We are gonna go in circles. I disagree with you but realistically I'm not the one affected so that doesn't really matter. It sucks you have to deal with any hate. As with our prior pedophile/rape apologist conversation, I'm going to continue to call out shitty behavior and I know you will too. I appreciate the discussion Velma.
So why don't communities like jailbait, beatingwomen, incel, watchwomendie etcetera exist here then?
That is fair,I do typically avoid Violets posts because of her age. Even at only 32 it makes me a bit uncomfortable. But I'd feel the same if it was a self proclaimed 18 year old male posting about how much they love drinking piss. It's good she can express herself and all, just not my thing to engage with personally. I read through many of the comments and I can't disagree sexsim exists here. I still strongly believe its the small minority and consistently frown upon by the majority. Aside from all that, I just so heavily disagree with that entire last statement lol. Considering lemmy to be even remotely close to old or contemporary 4chan/Reddit is completely insane. It kind of makes me feel you've not engaged with old or contemporary 4chan especially but reddit too. You know both sites have in the past and currently still host literal footage of rape,murder, sexual assault. Especially 4chan, there are at all times a "women rekt" (videos of dead women, them being raped, killed and/or assaulted) threads floating around. Reddit has dedicated misogynistic non kink communities with thousands of participants. The part I think is most important about that also, it has NOTHING to do with an actual ideologic stance. Its about advertising and making money. Thats why subreddits like jailbait, incel , etcetera. Only started disappearing when big money started coming in. Communities and posts like that do not and have not (to my knowledge) exist here. Clearly that's based ideologically not financially. I just really see that last paragraph as so completely ignorant and disingenuous.
But thats what I'm saying. I see the vast majority consistently calling out, downvoting and arguing against that minority. Significantly moreso than any other mixed online space I've engaged with. That's the difference I see and I think is being completely ignored. The overall cultural stance here is strongly against. Whereas every other major platform even remotely like this isn't. I guess pushing for better isn't a bad thing but I see it as a disingenuous angle. If anyone can make an account and engage, shitheads will poke out, its the way they are reacted to that sets the cultural standard. I see the way they're reacted to being highly negative. I see it as, there are some sexist people on Lemmy and they are consistently treated as shitty by the majority. Not, Lemmy is a sexist place for sexist people.
I just see a loud small minority being treated as if its the vast majority. I feel the same about the shitty rape apologist/pedophilic comments you brought up. It just seems disingenuous to paint Lemmy as being a bastion for sexism where it's pushed, accepted and promoted. I wouldn't engage with the site or any of it's communities if that were the case. I'm more suprised that if you believe it is, you choose to.
It's a daily constant occurrence that is universally approved of and pushed? Because that's what OP is saying in the post and comments.
I am
Oh fuck, what do we do?
Sounds like a resourceful person
Thank you