Iām bi and when I match, I match with all types of people. Iām also demisexual and need a connection to really take notice of someoneās attractiveness. Like I can tell when someone is objectively attractive but i could really care less. Body type is tertiary to compatibility for me.
If itās any consolation, Iām a woman and get the all the same bullshit. I put effort in, I read bios, I give thoughtful answers and openersā¦
Half my conversations are them asking to fuck, a third are just doa and donāt respond and whateverās left is the driest most unengaging conversation you could possibly imagine.
When I do find someone worth chatting with long term I end up having to set everything up only for them to either ghost or just fade away through text over the course of a few days.
Itās soul crushing. I hardly even bother anymore.
Simultaneously exhausted by the world at large and let down by my own little corner of the world.
Definitely had worse days emotionally and materially than I am now but whoof, this weeks been getting me. The collective apathy, the learned helplessness, the willful ignorance.. shit wears me down š®āšØ
I donāt have therapy, but I made myself a tasty coffee this morning and have been bumping good tunes all day trying to stay above the line. Whatever helps lol
Iām glad husband is there for you, I hope youāre able to find the little things that make you feel full and alive today. Itās bleak out there but there is love and beauty and good things out there too š«¶
I think itās okay to tell someone your feelings for them, if and only if you donāt make it their responsibility to manage and regulate those feelings.
All relationships are reciprocal to a degree. Liking someone is normal, if they donāt reciprocate those feelings thatās okay, doesnāt mean anything has to change. If you respect them as a person and donāt just see them as someone to fill a role in your life then you should be able to sublimate romantic feelings into a healthy plutonic feelings.
Donāt force anything, pay attention to expressed boundaries and learn to differentiate for yourself when youāre giving too much.
Yess, letās collectively cripple our electrical grid for months just before we start hitting what will likely be record high temps in the summer under an administration that has proven to not give a shit about the health or safety of the people.
On your points re: āwhat about the innocent that need power to survive?ā
Do you think the current government is a fair representation of the will of the people? I can only speculate but the āinnocentā as you described them surely didnāt ask to be in a facist nation.
Glad to know youāre just as bad as them
Iām not even going to acknowledge the rest of your post because this idea is about as good as crashing your car to get attention from your crush. You say itās mutually assured destruction but I think theyād be more than happy to rule over defunct chaos as that seems to be their end goal anyways.
I think itās jaded to consider ddlg or cnc vanilla but idk man. Iām not here to gatekeep what is or isnāt kinky enough to be kinky, Iām just positing the model of distinction to be things that could be achieved with with a stranger through simple body language, and things that require more intent / communication/ set up to be achieved.
Being set on fire, feels more fetishistic / excentrism than kink to me but Iām not Mr Webster so idk.
Kink is weird. There are some things that are considered kinky but arenāt super kinky (biting, feet, degradation/praise, ect) that can be done with anyone if the vibe is right. Then there are kinky kinks that are a little less common and require more trust and familiarity to be done safely.
Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while Iām blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.
Cause Iāve been poor my whole life until the last few years. Mom worked three jobs so we could eat Mac and cheese every night growing up. Been homeless multiple times evenā¦
You severely underestimate the craftyness, resourcefulness, and tenacity of the poor.
Iām not talking about flying for a luxury vacation, shit, Iām not even talking about making a wedding, funeral, or birth, ya know big things. Iām talking about have toās.. like mom in the hospital 8 states away. Grandma being foreclosed on and canāt afford assisted living and somebody has to be there,
lol I donāt fly, but for someone in my shoes whose brother lives across the country, my options are either a full 1,200 mile / 18+hr drive or $180-300 on a 5hr flight to and from while also saving wear on my car, or to just not see my brother.
I prefer the third option as my brother is trash, but be for real. The airline that went down made it easier for everyday people that didnt have booku money to fly. Celebrating this as a hit to the rich is civilly tone deaf and naive
ā a lowcost Budget airline for low income peopleā shutting down
A rich persons problem?
Bruh, the rich didnāt fly spirit.. and even if they did they still have options.. like yeah some rich asshole lost their company but this hits low income travelers much harder than the rich.
As another incredibly horny Violet out in the world, itās always odd to read comments like this. Straight up had the thought ā but I never posted that meme on Lemmyā š
Hey. This happened to me a few years ago. Had a great friend group of many years, started dating my best friend in the group. They raped me, then slandered me and accused me of accusing them of a bunch of stuff before I talked to anyone.
All my friends believed them.
It was fucking devastating. Honestly, I still couldnāt tell you what hurt the most out of that situation but suffice it to say losing everyone in my life at the same time really fucked me up for a number of years after.
My lived experience aligns with yours in that 98% of people are lying, cheating, selfish bastards. People are lazy, and donāt really care about whatās right but rather whatās convenient, and itās usually more convenient to just not examine the situation and go along with the group. After all, they donāt want to lose their friends too *sigh
In the end, people will be people and believe whatever. There may be some self reflection needed from you in this situation but donāt ruminate on what they do or donāt think about you. Focus on being someone you like and are happy with.
I had the same problem socially with being tight in the local music scene, small venues, hard to make new friends because everyone is cliquey. Honestly it was super weird to read your post because it mirrored my experience post break up almost exactly (minus the rape trauma hopefully).
5 years later I have a handful of good friends and people Iāve built new meaningful friendships with. Itās hard to meet people, let alone people you really vibe with, but for me, I met them all in the oddest of places at the oddest of times. It sounds cliche, but you just have to stay open and keep going out. You donāt have to open up and be vulnerable with everyone you meet, but stay friendly, and be vulnerable with the people that reciporicate over time, and be forgiving/ give people the space and time to be human/ adults/ busy.
Mines a hole in the dirt
Iām bi and when I match, I match with all types of people. Iām also demisexual and need a connection to really take notice of someoneās attractiveness. Like I can tell when someone is objectively attractive but i could really care less. Body type is tertiary to compatibility for me.
If itās any consolation, Iām a woman and get the all the same bullshit. I put effort in, I read bios, I give thoughtful answers and openersā¦
Half my conversations are them asking to fuck, a third are just doa and donāt respond and whateverās left is the driest most unengaging conversation you could possibly imagine.
When I do find someone worth chatting with long term I end up having to set everything up only for them to either ghost or just fade away through text over the course of a few days.
Itās soul crushing. I hardly even bother anymore.
Me too friend.
Simultaneously exhausted by the world at large and let down by my own little corner of the world. Definitely had worse days emotionally and materially than I am now but whoof, this weeks been getting me. The collective apathy, the learned helplessness, the willful ignorance.. shit wears me down š®āšØ
I donāt have therapy, but I made myself a tasty coffee this morning and have been bumping good tunes all day trying to stay above the line. Whatever helps lol
Iām glad husband is there for you, I hope youāre able to find the little things that make you feel full and alive today. Itās bleak out there but there is love and beauty and good things out there too š«¶
Eh, as a player myself, i differentiate between listening mode and playing mode, but both are totally valid ways to be a fan of music.
Deep listening, dancing, ect is almost more fulfilling as a music fan personally than playing but to each their own.
Oh man, you just unlocked memories of a handful of cryptid and urban legend websites I used to crawl as a kid that were all linked together.
Used to spend hours trying to be quiet in the living room reading weird nosleep-style stories. Fuck I miss the early web. Web 4.0 sucks.
I think itās okay to tell someone your feelings for them, if and only if you donāt make it their responsibility to manage and regulate those feelings.
All relationships are reciprocal to a degree. Liking someone is normal, if they donāt reciprocate those feelings thatās okay, doesnāt mean anything has to change. If you respect them as a person and donāt just see them as someone to fill a role in your life then you should be able to sublimate romantic feelings into a healthy plutonic feelings.
Donāt force anything, pay attention to expressed boundaries and learn to differentiate for yourself when youāre giving too much.
Turns out the next grift was become the legal system
Yess, letās collectively cripple our electrical grid for months just before we start hitting what will likely be record high temps in the summer under an administration that has proven to not give a shit about the health or safety of the people.
On your points re: āwhat about the innocent that need power to survive?ā
Iām not even going to acknowledge the rest of your post because this idea is about as good as crashing your car to get attention from your crush. You say itās mutually assured destruction but I think theyād be more than happy to rule over defunct chaos as that seems to be their end goal anyways.
To each their own, masturbation doesnāt do it for me personally
I think itās jaded to consider ddlg or cnc vanilla but idk man. Iām not here to gatekeep what is or isnāt kinky enough to be kinky, Iām just positing the model of distinction to be things that could be achieved with with a stranger through simple body language, and things that require more intent / communication/ set up to be achieved.
Being set on fire, feels more fetishistic / excentrism than kink to me but Iām not Mr Webster so idk.
Kink is weird. There are some things that are considered kinky but arenāt super kinky (biting, feet, degradation/praise, ect) that can be done with anyone if the vibe is right. Then there are kinky kinks that are a little less common and require more trust and familiarity to be done safely.
Kinky for me is to be tied down and have hot wax poured over me while Iām blindfolded. Or free use / cnc type stuff, being available 24/7 without word at literally anytime to be used as they please. Or ddlg / age regression with a daddy dom that extends outside of the bedroom.
I mean if they bulk at rimming I doubt theyāre going to be excited to chase me through the woods š
Are you poor?
Cause Iāve been poor my whole life until the last few years. Mom worked three jobs so we could eat Mac and cheese every night growing up. Been homeless multiple times evenā¦ You severely underestimate the craftyness, resourcefulness, and tenacity of the poor.
Iām not talking about flying for a luxury vacation, shit, Iām not even talking about making a wedding, funeral, or birth, ya know big things. Iām talking about have toās.. like mom in the hospital 8 states away. Grandma being foreclosed on and canāt afford assisted living and somebody has to be there,
lol I donāt fly, but for someone in my shoes whose brother lives across the country, my options are either a full 1,200 mile / 18+hr drive or $180-300 on a 5hr flight to and from while also saving wear on my car, or to just not see my brother.
I prefer the third option as my brother is trash, but be for real. The airline that went down made it easier for everyday people that didnt have booku money to fly. Celebrating this as a hit to the rich is civilly tone deaf and naive
ā a lowcost Budget airline for low income peopleā shutting down
A rich persons problem?
Bruh, the rich didnāt fly spirit.. and even if they did they still have options.. like yeah some rich asshole lost their company but this hits low income travelers much harder than the rich.
As another incredibly horny Violet out in the world, itās always odd to read comments like this. Straight up had the thought ā but I never posted that meme on Lemmyā š
I do 5 9.5hr days, my life is a mess. I donāt get anything done
Hey. This happened to me a few years ago. Had a great friend group of many years, started dating my best friend in the group. They raped me, then slandered me and accused me of accusing them of a bunch of stuff before I talked to anyone.
All my friends believed them.
It was fucking devastating. Honestly, I still couldnāt tell you what hurt the most out of that situation but suffice it to say losing everyone in my life at the same time really fucked me up for a number of years after.
My lived experience aligns with yours in that 98% of people are lying, cheating, selfish bastards. People are lazy, and donāt really care about whatās right but rather whatās convenient, and itās usually more convenient to just not examine the situation and go along with the group. After all, they donāt want to lose their friends too *sigh
In the end, people will be people and believe whatever. There may be some self reflection needed from you in this situation but donāt ruminate on what they do or donāt think about you. Focus on being someone you like and are happy with.
I had the same problem socially with being tight in the local music scene, small venues, hard to make new friends because everyone is cliquey. Honestly it was super weird to read your post because it mirrored my experience post break up almost exactly (minus the rape trauma hopefully).
5 years later I have a handful of good friends and people Iāve built new meaningful friendships with. Itās hard to meet people, let alone people you really vibe with, but for me, I met them all in the oddest of places at the oddest of times. It sounds cliche, but you just have to stay open and keep going out. You donāt have to open up and be vulnerable with everyone you meet, but stay friendly, and be vulnerable with the people that reciporicate over time, and be forgiving/ give people the space and time to be human/ adults/ busy.