If Jesus and his apostles had Chinese food for the last supper, what do you imagine the fortunes would say?

64 points · 25 comments · view on lemmy.world

25 Comments

Lemming421@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 2y

“After some initial trouble, you will ascend to new heights”

Edit: just realised that’s a bit dark if it was Judas’s fortune…

ivanafterall@kbin.social · 33 pts · 2y

"Hang in there! You're going to really nail your next undertaking."

Adderbox76@lemmy.ca · 28 pts · 2y (4 replies)

So long. And thanks for all the fish.

sanguinepar@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (2 replies)

And loaves.

Adderbox76@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's the most layered joke I've ever come up with. Pretty proud of it, ngl.

sanguinepar@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Rightly so. I laughed at the HHGG reference and then I got the second level and mentally applauded you :-)

BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Lol.

asmoranomar@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 2y

Given that Chinese fortunes aren't fortunes and are usually proverbs....it'll probably be something like "You can walk on water too, if it's cold enough."

cloudless@lemmy.cafe · 20 pts · 2y

"No fortune cookies for you! This is not America."

Jakdracula@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2y

“That wasn’t chicken”

Susaga@ttrpg.network · 10 pts · 2y

"You will reunite with a friend"
"The bad times will be over quickly"
"A sudden windfall will come your way"

fsr1967@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

"Even the closest of friends can sometimes hold betrayal in their hearts."

Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

I just want to know if the loto numbers were any good.

NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

Nobody could tell, because they had no translation.

leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 2y

in these dark times, people will see their fortune in you. you are their silver lining.

tal@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)

They probably weren't literate.

intensely_human@lemm.ee · 0 pts · 2y

🏛️🗡️✝️👉👉

RalphFurley@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

He who goes to sleep with itchy butthole wakes up with smelly finger

dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

A stitch in time saves nine.

nxdefiant@startrek.website · 1 pts · 2y

😬

JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee · -1 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Fortune Cookies are American, not Chinese.

intensely_human@lemm.ee · -2 pts · 2y

Yeah well so is Chinese food

FeetinMashedPotatoes@lemmy.world · -21 pts · 2y (2 replies)

"Don't trust the Jews"

PatMustard@feddit.uk · 20 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Given that they were all Jewish this seems unlikely

Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

But the guy who makes the cookies was REALLY racist. Even by historic standards!