Yk, it's strange, usually I'm almost all of them for things like this, but this one I'm only 4. They typically have a lot more to do with being queer or an atheist.

frickineh@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum, so I think I just have to accept that I'm never getting porn lover or sex addict, but as an achievement hunter, it really chaps my ass not to be able to 100% this.

Womdat10@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Yeah, I'm ace, depressed, don't curse, and have hyper addictive syndrome so I don't want to try any vices.

BlackNo1@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y (2 replies)

only thing i havent done is be homosexual im a failure

Bunnylux@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's not too late. Suck a dick, it's fun. Or if you're a lady, lick a pussy. Also fun. Can verify both.

BlackNo1@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

ive tried god knows id be too powerful if i was bi 😔

dogsnest@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 2y

"Blessed are the cheesemakers?"...."It's not meant to be taken literally, he means all manufacturers of dairy products."

"The Greeks are going to inherit the earth? Why the Greeks, why not us?"....."he said 'meek'!"...."ah well, that changes things...."

-- Life of Brian

ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Softcore gaming O.K.

SkabySkalywag@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Thanks, for a minute there I thought I had have to cover up my man boobs while playing Dance Revolution...

TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y (1 reply)

NO SHELLFISH EATERS

teft@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

See, they’re confused. God actually said no selfish eaters. So gluttony is right out, you better share your sandwiches.

knolord@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y

Didn't know the Catholic Church was banned from heaven

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 15 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Self Lover

Can't get into heaven if you don't hate yourself?

Dude must be Catholic.

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Same for most protestants too.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Dude is in Dublin, so probably.

Darkard@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Just as well I don't believe in heaven then eh?

Nougat@fedia.io · 13 pts · 2y

So the sign is correct. None of those people will enter heaven. Neither will anyone else, but those people, too.

Wytch@lemmy.zip · 13 pts · 2y

Heaven sounds boring af

Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee · 12 pts · 2y (1 reply)

That person is ALL of these things...I guarantee it

DickFiasco@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y

Definitely a hardcore gamer. Look at that head set.

NickwithaC@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Except for that part where Jesus died for all of our sins so we do all get to go to heaven now...

Epicmulch@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Well according to Jehovah only around 250,000 people get to get in.

NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Bad news for this guy on the “LIAR” front then.

CCF_100@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y

Lol I was thinking that too

chetradley@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

Be careful gamers, Jesus is watching your K/D ratio.

lemmy_get_my_coat@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

This is racist against gamers

MasterNerd@lemm.ee · 10 pts · 2y

Well if heaven is full of these guys I don't think we're missing much

LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Gamerphobia is where I draw the line

Mango@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 2y

Please, we don't gotta call boring people "phobes". I'm so sick of the "don't like me? You're clearly AFRAID and fuck you for not being into it!"

Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 2y

They seem to be wearing too many types of fabric to make that kind of statement.

itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Anything I don't like is wrong

OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y

It's not just that he thinks those things are wrong. It's that he thinks they're worthy of being horribly tortured for eternity for.

Oha@lemmy.ohaa.xyz · 9 pts · 2y

Im at 12 points if opening tf2 cases counts as gambling

MonkderDritte@feddit.de · 8 pts · 2y

Cool. Heaven is a boring place without any of that anyway.

SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Thank God I'm not going in, sounds like it's full of boring people.

DillyDaily@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Why would anyone want to go to Christian heaven when the bible explicitly tells us that our childhood pets won't even be there because apparently they don't have souls.

Like, what the fuck? If I can't have drugs or sex, hanging out with my old pet was the only thing heaven had going for it, but it doesn't even have that! Sounds like hell to me.

BranBucket@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I wouldn't call myself a porn lover, I'm quite fond of it and enjoy spending time together, but it's not really love.

__Lost__@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

More of a porn luster

Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 2y

That distinction is probably enough to get into heaven!

Mango@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Don't love yourself! Be miserable or else hell!

HubertManne@kbin.social · 4 pts · 2y

but if you don't do these things you can be rewarded by not doing these things. FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!

mechoman444@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

O thank God. Softcore gamers are in the clear.

It's funny how he mentions specifically hardcore gamers probably because his hypocritical ass likes to play video games.

Schmuppes@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

That's a pretty good list. 6 1/2 of those boxes are ticked with me.

fiercekitten@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Nice! I scored 10!

CaptKoala@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 2y

Heaven would be boring, assuming it exists. Imagine every goody goody person in one place, yawn.

All the cool people are going to hell, also assuming that exists, sign me up for the afterlifeparty

Toneswirly@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

Damn what if I just do my dailies tho?

LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

In the US we elect leaders based on that list as long as they have ‘R’next to their name

ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

even when one finds the viewpoint abhorrent, one cant help but admire the penmanship.

invisiblegorilla@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2y

There's a reason it's a stairway to heaven, but a highway to hell.

slurpeesoforion@startrek.website · 5 pts · 2y (7 replies)

13 out of 14

themeatbridge@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (3 replies)

12 out of 14. I don't think my wife would appreciate me becoming an adulterer for a meme, though.

Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y (2 replies)

12/14 here too. Can you guess which two?

themeatbridge@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Going to say you're not a Liar or a Potty Mouth.

TexasDrunk@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

I'm only 11/14 but I'm enough of a drunkard for several people.

kriz@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Ah too bad. 14/14 is Super Heaven

Daze@kbin.social · 3 pts · 2y

Wait, wait, wait. Hol' up. Lemme try again for the 100%

is reincarnated as pig

OINK (GODFUCKINGDAMNIT)

loz@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 2y

What?! I only got fuckin' five.

100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it · 5 pts · 2y

It doesn't say anything explicit about weed, unless "potty mouth" refers to someone showing up to the gates of heaven munching edibles.

Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Heaven sounds boring as fuck. Who would want to go there? It sounds like a torture chamber of limp-dick conservative dipshits sitting in church for all eternity.

leadore@kbin.social · 5 pts · 2y

Hardcore gamer? No problem, I play minecraft on normal difficulty.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 2y

Not according to the new testament.

The only thing on that sign that might put you in hell (if it exists) is Atheism, ironically.

So long as you "accept JC into your heart as your personal lord and savior" and "repent your sins" you are saved

IndiBrony@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Pretty sure I've been basically all of these. Not proud of some of them, of course, but damn, given this resume I could probably apply to be Beelzebub myself!

Bunnylux@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Same..

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

I check out 10 by their standards.

lesbian_seagull@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

[ removed ]

anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

WOTS SO BLOODY SPECIAL ABOUT THE CHEESEMAKERS?

TastyWheat@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

It's not meant to be taken literally, it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

FMEEE@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 2y

Wait ok I can't support LGBT but Q+ is ok ?

IzzyScissor@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

No drunkards?

Guess he doesn't realize Jesus's first miracle was getting a party lit.

Moneo@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

ooohhh are we collecting? liar, atheist, potty mouth, lgbt supporter, self lover, porn lover, hardcore gamer. That can't be too hard to beat, I missed a few easy ones for sure.

frightful_hobgoblin@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 2y

Hey look it's Grafton Street

mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

What do you want to bet they'd vote trump if they could?

Thcdenton@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Look at those tired eyes. Thats a coomer right there 🔥🔥🔥

rustyfish@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

I am the only one who is allowed to go to heaven!

Nobody else! I am a good noodle! I AM A GOOD NOODLE!

Zozano@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 2y

[ removed ]