A short drive from Limerick, Ireland

753 points · 53 comments · view on lemmy.world

53 Comments

tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 121 pts · 2y (11 replies)

Hadn't seen this one before but I saw this in a book:

There once was a man from Peru,
Whose limericks stopped at line two

and then later in the same book they had

There once was a man from Verdun

deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 32 pts · 2y (7 replies)

I like this.

There are two types of people:

  1. Those who can extrapolate
Crackhappy@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2y (1 reply)

eye twitches from incomplete data

deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 7 pts · 2y

I figured that was a double layer of extrapolation.

Also couldn't be bothered typing the rest on a phone.

Classy@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 2y (4 replies)

There are 10 types of people in the world

deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 9 pts · 2y (2 replies)

All bases are base 10.

DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

All bases are belong to us

LordTrychon@startrek.website · 4 pts · 1y
  • base10, provably
Ookami38@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y

-Those who understand binary

-those who don't

-those who didn't expect this to be in ternary?

SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (1 reply)

thousand yard stare

kamenlady@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

Verdun here

Bertuccio@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

There was once an unfortunate bard

Who found fashioning limericks hard.

He stopped at line three

Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 63 pts · 2y

There once was a bard from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When told this was so
He replied, 'Yes, I know"
"But I always try and fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

intensely_human@lemm.ee · 51 pts · 2y (1 reply)

there’s really no need to say more

Donkter@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

God fucking damn genius.

teft@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 2y

The audience always wants more

snekerpimp@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 2y

There was a young man from south bend

Whose limericks all came to an end

Suddenly

ToffeeIsForClosers@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Reminds me of an oldie:

“Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, This one don’t.”

MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 2y

I will occasionally go out of my way to put together birthday cards etc for friends and family rather than buy something off the rack. One year I made this for my cousin:

Roses are red

(Rose dot jpeg)

Violets are too

(Violet in red dot jpeg)

open

I ran out of cyan

Happy birthday

RarePossum@programming.dev · 10 pts · 2y

I knew it as

Roses are red.
Violets are blue
I hate rhyming.
Zebra

Kuma@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Yes these kinds of works works best when you sing them like bards would. Just reading them as is is not as good. Or you can sing them like tenacious d (they got the bard style going on)

Dalvoron@lemm.ee · 24 pts · 1y (4 replies)
[ removed ]
bitwaba@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

What do you call Santa's little helpers?

Subordinate Clauses

RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y (2 replies)

But a comma goes before the pause.

pyre@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

yeah doesn't even work with the classic joke format, in which the words switch places. I'm sure the joke should actually be:

one has claws at the end of its paws, one denotes a pause at the end of a clause.

Dalvoron@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y
[ removed ]
HairyHarry@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 2y (4 replies)

... he traded the fifth for a whore

... the four is an Int I adore

... three third bits is all I afford

spaceguy5234@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y (1 reply)

You've gotta leave them wanting more

HairyHarry@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

this is my favourite so far

lugal@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

... the four is an Int I adore

So that's your stand on the square numbers vs fibonacci primes, I see

HairyHarry@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

But a four is soooo symmetric.

Classy@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Not a limerick but I want to share my favorite pun joke

I once submitted ten puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win, but
No pun intended

ahal@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y (2 replies)

I always thought that joke needs an actual pun in the first half so the "no pun intended" has a valid double meaning. I came up with:

I told the sad ghost ten puns to raise its spirits. No pun intendid.

Classy@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

It's word play.

No pun intended.
"No pun in ten did [win the contest]"

ahal@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1y

Yes I understand. It works spelled that way. But "no pun intended" doesn't work because there was no pun in the initial setup. In my version both meanings make sense

dumbass@leminal.space · 4 pts · 2y

HA! Nice!

cpw@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 2y (1 reply)

And this is the fifth line of four..

angrystego@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

This one's great!

VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 1y

"...I can't think of a single word more."

4am@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 2y (2 replies)

whose limericks stopped at line four

Bad rhythm. Should be “whose limericks would stop at line four”

egerlach@lemmy.ca · 44 pts · 2y (1 reply)

That depends on whether you treat "limericks" as a trochee (long-short, i.e. "lim-ricks") or a dactyl (long-short-short, i.e. "lim-er-icks").

_stranger_@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Egerlach, they once called this bard

Who'd school any with whom he did spar

Whether trochee or dactyl

word choice was impec'ble

master of prosody, unflappable.

sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 2y

My bandwidth is crappy through Tor.

OR

Too much exposition's a bore.

OR

Though a quatrain's a ditty,

My pay's itty bitty.

If you cut prose apart, so as to make more,

Perhaps, one day, I'll afford my lost oar.

_lilith@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y (2 replies)

and then he said nothing more.

BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Not enough syllables

_lilith@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

eh 7-10 in lines 1, 2, and 5. cold have been more consistent but its not like its a haiku. kind of ruins the joke to write a last line anyway

aesthelete@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

I find the fifth line a chore

Carbonizer@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

And then he spoke not a word more.

drphungky@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

You're both sadist and poetic boor.

dumbass@leminal.space · 7 pts · 2y

There once was a mute man from spain
Who loved traveling on planes
When ask what he thought
Of the brand new concord
He said

DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org · 6 pts · 1y

And with that he walked out the door

Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

*badum...* Y'know, no, this is so terrible, I will not finish the rimshot.

Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y (2 replies)

"Yer Mom was a ________"

Kalkaline@leminal.space · 8 pts · 2y

Nice lady who makes delicious snacks.

thenextguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Sick duck?