The devil will walk on earth

783 points · 73 comments · view on lemmy.world

73 Comments

EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world · 195 pts · 1y (12 replies)

I'm gullible as hell I showed this to my gf super excitedly

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 63 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Chin up, now you know she really loves ya

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 1y (2 replies)

She might have dumped them immediately, you don't know

SassyRamen@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I actually shit his pants for him and then gave him a forceful blumpkin, he cried after.

Denjin@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 1y

Cried with joy about how much he loves you?

Another_earthling@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Well I asked ChatGPT if that is true. It's so cool that ChatGPT isn't allowed to tell me how stupid that question is

x4740N@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y

Yes totally reliable and accurate chatpgt

toynbee@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Don't feel bad. I once showed my then-girlfriend news of a Firefly renewal on April 1st.

OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 1y (1 reply)

You can't take the sky from me.

Klear@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

🍃

Maggoty@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Straight to jail.

toynbee@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Not sure I get it.

xeekei@lemm.ee · 105 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Isn't Halloween always on 31 October? How's this possible?

ignotum@lemmy.world · 202 pts · 1y (1 reply)

That's why it's so scary 😱

Pips@lemmy.sdf.org · 12 pts · 1y

The Halloween is inside the calendar!!!!!!

toynbee@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y

Did you know that Christmas and Halloween are the same day? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

capt_wolf@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

I just had to explain this to my coworker...

babybus@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1y

Thank you for asking because I had no idea what's wrong with this post until I reached your comment.

Zier@fedia.io · 60 pts · 1y

You can't just move holidays. Who do you think you are, the President of Venezuela?

tiotok@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 1y (3 replies)

This looks like an email my boomer dad would forward to everyone he knows.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1y (2 replies)
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InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Obummer foes it again

Hammocks4All@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 1y

The best I’ve seen was at a beach in Brazil.

Barraca = shack, post, tent

Brahma = brand of beer

This guy had a shack thing on the beach to sell beer and it was called Barraca do OBrahma and it had a picture of Obama.

Tautvydaxx@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Thank god that new year is not on friday 13th.

psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

Not with that attitude it isn't.

Limonene@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Unfortunately this won't happen until October 31st 2600. Starting on March 1st in the year 2600, the Julian calendar (popular in centuries past, and still used in a few places) will differ by 18 days from the Gregorian calendar (the current worldwide standard calendar).

It happens that October 31st in the year 2600 lands on a Friday, and so the Julian October 13th, which lands on that same day, is also a Friday.

There may be a sooner Friday the 13th that lands on Halloween, if you know of other obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars. I don't know enough about those to check.

lugal@sopuli.xyz · 11 pts · 1y

I love it when people over analyze shitposts. Well done!

Ultraviolet@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

It's also always either 5, 6 or 11 years (or 7 in very rare cases, when you're on both sides of a skipped leap year like 1900 or 2100) between "day X falls on day of the week Y" events unless you're talking about February 29.

pseudo@jlai.lu · 4 pts · 1y (2 replies)

obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars

That's not very nice to say, also very false

Limonene@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I eagerly await your writeup on whichever calendar you think I need to know more about.

pseudo@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 1y

You don't need to learn about other people calendar but you mentionned about 3 calendars that are very famous and used by a significant portion of the world population. That not something obscure at all. Just something that is not part of your culture and you don't know.

Asafum@feddit.nl · 29 pts · 1y

Me: a complete dumbass.

"I could swear it happened once when I was a kid"

"...Wait a second..."

KazuchijouNo@lemy.lol · 28 pts · 1y

I remember a friend of mine showing us this image many years ago all excited. To this day he's mocked for it

cordlesslamp@lemmy.today · 27 pts · 1y

feels like this would go viral on Facebook.

Th4tGuyII@fedia.io · 20 pts · 1y

If you put that in the mirror it's kinda true, except that it's also on a Thursday this year haha

letsgo@lemm.ee · 18 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Huh? When are you guys celebrating Halloween? The only Friday 13ths in 2024 are in September and December.

Also I thought the calendar cycles every 400 years. So if Fri 13th Oct 2024 exists, which it doesn't, then Fri 13th Oct 1624 and 2424 also, er, don't exist.

♫ In the year 2424, if trolls are still alive... ♫

TeddE@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Yes. Since Halloween is the last day of October, the 31st, it's kinda never on the 13th. So yeah, it's a shitpost.

Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1y

That is what you heathens want us to think!

Homescool@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

Dang it I already forwarded this to my church group o well.

Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y

Sorry, I only believe in The Robot Devil from Futurama.

MyRobotShitsBolts@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Im more scared for Nov. 5th TBH.

Monzcarro@feddit.uk · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Oh, you don't like bonfire night? Fireworks too loud? /s

Edit: Seriously, good luck to you guys - I'll be watching nervously from the UK (where our election was on 4th July.)

blackn1ght@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 1y

It took your edit to realise they weren't talking about bonfire night.

Binette@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 1y

My self esteam decreased drastically after realising

psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y

I can't believe it actually started to compute this in my head. C'mon coffee, get to work.

Dorkyd68@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Fuck it. I wanna suck a dick before everything goes tit's up.

Like a clean and kinda cute one though. Non dick type of dick ya kmow

afox@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

How bendy are you?

Presently42@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1y

Go get yourself a twink ig?

mariah@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 1y

I think mine's cute

art@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

Even scarier when you realize Friday the 13th is on a Sunday.

Etterra@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (5 replies)

This makes me feel like I did the first time I saw a full blood moon. Amused but ultimately disappointed that the world didn't end.

SaberKazd@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 1y (2 replies)

You did it wrong pal, you're supposed to fish during the blood moon.

mossy_@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

You're gonna get your ass kicked by a Dreadnautilus doing that

chiliedogg@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

I prefer to cook then.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
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OozingPositron@feddit.cl · 1 pts · 1y

What about a pale blood moon?

x4740N@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Why did this have to pass 666 up votes,

Could've been left at 666 updates and this post would be even better

ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

You can work on 666 down arrows

HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y

Or 666 comments!

assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Well if we’re going through another doomsday scenario then hopefully this one puts us out of our misery this time.

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (6 replies)

When you believe in things that you don't understand then you suffer.

Superstition ain't the way

IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y (4 replies)

this is why I'm a computer denialist

BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y (2 replies)

They're just rock sprites trapped and tricked into doing math

VonReposti@feddit.dk · 6 pts · 1y

I call it sand that's been tortured so much they started doing math.

IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

let my people go

Etterra@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

Why would computers need a dentist?

SoGrumpy@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 1y

Stevie Wonder much?

Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

As a devout Last Thursdayist I invite you all to share in the weirdness this year, as Halloween falls on a Thursday. Join me in celebrating the existential horror of not knowing if the universe was created mere hours ago with the appearance of age while handing out free candy and watching scary movies.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

I'm a devout Carcinizationist. May your bucket be filled.

SSJMarx@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y
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TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y

If we declare it "the floor is lava" day, would that mean he can't walk on earth?

Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Probably because the Orange Anti-Christ is running for President.

Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Trumps been here a while so its nothing new.