Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes
Eh, he’s a millionaire. Must be something to it. He’s 68 now and has started selling his stuff off. The new owners have been calling me for months because I’m the only person who knows how to deal with it other than him.
He truly is a genius. Like anyone else, he has his flaws, but I’m telling you, he’s brilliant and his work is brilliant.
In all of the years he has ran his businesses he never called an outsider in. He learned to program machines that people are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to program and repair despite being functionally illiterate. I’d say there’s virtue in his work.
On top of all of that, has taken care of his employees. He isn’t perfect, but if someone works for him and their car breaks down, it gets repaired on his account. If it can’t be repaired, he goes to a car auction and buys them a car on his own time after inspecting it from top to bottom to make sure it’s good enough.
I’ve had my problems with him AND his work over the years, but overall I definitely think that his skill is the virtue that I think it is. I envy him, in a positive way.
The fuck is with these influx of censored memes? Is it to avoid some tik tok filter or some shit? I am just assuming since so many of this crap is recycled tik tok memes.
Reasonable. I've had my account for years upon years. I mostly use it to keep in touch with friends and family. Have never let it sync my contacts though.
Probably. I recently tried to create a Facebook account for the marketplace and was banned after creation for impersonation. That was after I did what they wanted to confirm my identity. Now my partner has to handle my dealings. Lol
My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
A great shitpost about pee ... beautifully done ... now I gotta go pee ... by myself ... with no one holding my pee pee .. so they don't do a helicopter while I pee
I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.
Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby...
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you're being, it's not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!!! You don't fuck with hippos, you don't fuck with moose, and you don't fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it's it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
And she's only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn't know how strong of a stream you're giving her and you can't adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
It certainly is! That's really interesting. I didn't even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
Are you just supposed to carry that around with you everywhere? Do you wash it in the sink after every use? If I were a trans man I think I would just use a stall.
Most of us just use a stall and don't bother with a STP. But the shake it off and stick it back in your underwear move is the move with these things, and it's about as gross as when the cis guys do it, lol.
Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I'm able to get, but I wasn't expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it's a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).
107 Comments
expatriado@lemmy.world · 137 pts · 1y
my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn't be able to pee
Im_old@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 1y
It's difficult but not impossible
cdf12345@lemm.ee · 89 pts · 1y
Hard Mode
EightLeggedFreak@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 1y
The competition is stiff.
rockerface@lemm.ee · 21 pts · 1y
You woodn't think it's possible
0ops@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y
But urine it to win it
SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org · 15 pts · 1y
You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
prime_number_314159@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
As long as you can maintain a steady stream of ejaculate, it'll feel the same for her.
jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world · 121 pts · 1y
Aloud.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 1y
Maybe she should try more quietly.
M137@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1y
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
tee9000@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 1y
I dont understand how you dont question a jpeg. A child made this meme. It did not happen.
Now if it were a png, thats a good source. Theres a lot more transparency.
rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee · 18 pts · 1y
This comment made me remove both my femurs.
fishbone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 1y
Dpof@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
I kinda wanna cut off my thighs too after reading that
a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1y
the children yearn for the mememines
theangryseal@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 1y
I read your first paragraph before giving up. You can't be understood if people give up communicating with you entirely.
LetKCater2U@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1y
You’re better than me. I didn’t even make it through the first sentence before I collapsed the comment and moved on lol.
theangryseal@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 1y
Good for your. Pat yourself on the back and feed your ego.
They need to eat, after all.
theangryseal@lemmy.world · -5 pts · 1y
Well, that’s on you. You’re allowing yourself to be upset over such a small thing and missing (I feel) a very valuable point.
That’s your ego, like it or not.
Dpof@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Why did I read that first paragraph in Canadian accent
bleistift2@sopuli.xyz · 0 pts · 1y
That’s not the virtue you think it is.
theangryseal@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Eh, he’s a millionaire. Must be something to it. He’s 68 now and has started selling his stuff off. The new owners have been calling me for months because I’m the only person who knows how to deal with it other than him.
He truly is a genius. Like anyone else, he has his flaws, but I’m telling you, he’s brilliant and his work is brilliant.
In all of the years he has ran his businesses he never called an outsider in. He learned to program machines that people are paid hundreds of dollars an hour to program and repair despite being functionally illiterate. I’d say there’s virtue in his work.
On top of all of that, has taken care of his employees. He isn’t perfect, but if someone works for him and their car breaks down, it gets repaired on his account. If it can’t be repaired, he goes to a car auction and buys them a car on his own time after inspecting it from top to bottom to make sure it’s good enough.
I’ve had my problems with him AND his work over the years, but overall I definitely think that his skill is the virtue that I think it is. I envy him, in a positive way.
fin@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1y
I thought they used audio recognition or something
theangryseal@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p
nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca · 91 pts · 1y
Still a better love story than twilight.
Tja@programming.dev · 1 pts · 1y
It's an older meme sir, but it checks out.
FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org · 78 pts · 1y
The fuck is with these influx of censored memes? Is it to avoid some tik tok filter or some shit? I am just assuming since so many of this crap is recycled tik tok memes.
wurstgulasch3000@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 1y
I will down vote each and every one of them, I know it won't do anything but fuck it
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 1y
Can't even say dingle anymore without being banned from Insta. Ducks sake.
FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org · 7 pts · 1y
i wouldn't know. I've never used instagram in my life lol.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
I don't know if that's true either. I don't tend to interact with other people on Instagram when I do use it. I was just making banter
RobotZap10000@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 1y
As in Quandale Dingle or what?
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
This site isn't Instagram.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
No it is not. Instagram may be why the meme is censored, I wouldn't know since that isn't where I found it.
RangerJosie@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I installed it like a year ago out of boredom. And it wouldn't let me make a new account unless the app could sync all my contacts.
So I uninstalled it and haven't looked back.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
Reasonable. I've had my account for years upon years. I mostly use it to keep in touch with friends and family. Have never let it sync my contacts though.
RangerJosie@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
I kinda figured it was a newer addition to the sign up reqs. I asked a few friends and none of them had to do that.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Probably. I recently tried to create a Facebook account for the marketplace and was banned after creation for impersonation. That was after I did what they wanted to confirm my identity. Now my partner has to handle my dealings. Lol
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · -6 pts · 1y
Is it really that big a deal? People are finding them elsewhere and they're pre-censored when they find them.
Does it matter when it's funny?
RangerJosie@lemmy.world · -36 pts · 1y
Cuck behavior. You, not the censorship.
Use your imagination bish.
MutilationWave@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y
Calling someone a cuck makes me think you're a loser.
RangerJosie@lemmy.world · -7 pts · 1y
Ahem, memememememeeeeee
/clears throat
You Sir, are also a Cuck.
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com · -7 pts · 1y
that's what someone that got called a cuck would say
TommySoda@lemmy.world · 74 pts · 1y
I like how they censor the "C" in dick so it's just "DIK"
I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y
dik was an animation studio once upon a time
Hackworth@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 1y
I instantly heard it. DEEK
Xttweaponttx@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05hTBAOnDQE Relevant cyanide and happiness
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y
Dik-dik.
MutilationWave@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
intensely_human@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 1y
https://youtu.be/aDOuFnZnPMs
intensely_human@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 1y
IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 1y
pissing all by yourself, handsome?
bastion@feddit.nl · 10 pts · 1y
Not anymore.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 39 pts · 1y
That's quite the sound
Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 1y
Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.
BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works · 38 pts · 1y
Wrong community, this is shitposting, you want pissposting. Maybe even vintagepissposting...
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1y
You're free to repost to pisspost this shitpost
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 29 pts · 1y
A great shitpost about pee ... beautifully done ... now I gotta go pee ... by myself ... with no one holding my pee pee .. so they don't do a helicopter while I pee
nifty@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y
You can hold it and copter yourself
EchoCranium@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 1y
Coptering a feel
paddirn@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1y
I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.
Landless2029@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y
Yeah the shower is a much easier solution
Lightor@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
Golden? Only if they're into that kind thing
Landless2029@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
No I mean take a regular shower and let her stand behind you and hold your wee wee while you pee pee.
... Didn't think I needed to spell it out.
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
🛁
kindenough@kbin.earth · 23 pts · 1y
Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby...
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 1y
And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you're being, it's not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!!! You don't fuck with hippos, you don't fuck with moose, and you don't fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it's it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
"If it's a hippo, fuck you!"
kindenough@kbin.earth · 5 pts · 1y
Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.
ShutUpDonnie@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1y
Damn are you living in Earth's upper atmosphere?
Tja@programming.dev · 1 pts · 1y
I feel like the plural of moose should be meese. Such an inconsistent language...
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 1 pts · 1y
You should not go swimming in waters with a algae bloom anyways. Hippo or no hippo.
terminhell@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 1y
Tried this once, wife's aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD
allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 1y
To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
howrar@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 1y
And she's only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn't know how strong of a stream you're giving her and you can't adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
TriflingToad@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y
You're quite the piss scientist I see!
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y
Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y
It certainly is! That's really interesting. I didn't even consider how transitioning changes the way one would use the toilet. I can totally see needing to practice in the shower with the device.
TriflingToad@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
I can definitely see why it would be harder than the real thing. Also didn't know that existed, link (NSFW) pretty cool.
Schmoo@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 1y
Are you just supposed to carry that around with you everywhere? Do you wash it in the sink after every use? If I were a trans man I think I would just use a stall.
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y
Most of us just use a stall and don't bother with a STP. But the shake it off and stick it back in your underwear move is the move with these things, and it's about as gross as when the cis guys do it, lol.
terminhell@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I'm able to get, but I wasn't expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it's a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).
sachamato@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y
My wife asked for this. Lol
HessiaNerd@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y
I've definitely let my wife write her name.
undergroundoverground@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y
I'm going for a piss
Oh yeah, want some help with that?
TastyWheat@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y
Preschool Memes need to die, you can say 'dick' on the internet for fuck's sake!
Ithorian@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 1y
She is a keeper
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
I don't like giving myself golden showers
Ithorian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
And i can respect that (i think)
bluewing@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 1y
My question is-- What did you learn from this?
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 1y
Spanish
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
I am grateful that, in 24 years of marriage, this has never been an issue that has come up between my wife and I.
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
I think I'm gonna just cut out my eyes
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de · 33 pts · 1y
Why tho? That was such a tame post
scottmeme@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1y
Melon baller
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
I do this alone for fun.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 1y
Stay back, cum walls. This is a piss ceiling house.
TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 1y
That's the old Johnson house. Most folks don't go near. Mind the glory holes in the wall, you hear.
gdog05@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
They're load bearing walls.
TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y
Oh don't touch that. That's a load bearing cum stain.
undefined@links.hackliberty.org · 3 pts · 1y
You cut out your eyes for fun?
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Dick
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
His flacid dick is big enough for her to hold?
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y
daggermoon@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y
I think it's average when erect. I ain't really worried about it either way. Guess I set myself up for that.
i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 1y
I knew a fellow with an over 7" penis when erect. When flaccid, it kind of went... Back in a little, like a belly button. A pubic button if you will.
You're right not to worry about flaccid size.
Lightor@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
You're not a shower (showwer?) you're a grower.
Honestly seems like the better deal. Have that thing out of the way during day to day.
Agrivar@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
Gullible@sh.itjust.works · -5 pts · 1y
Who let this 11 year old get married? Who let this child hold their husband’s member?