c/lemmyshitpost · by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 1y

Share holder value

Guess we can indirectly measure the maximum value of a human life - turns out I could buy several with my walking around money.

664 points · 37 comments · view on lemmy.world

37 Comments

Sanctus@lemmy.world · 224 pts · 1y (12 replies)

So assassinating CEOs is good for the stock market? Hmm.

shittydwarf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 85 pts · 1y

It's a strange thing but the chart is right there in front of us

WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today · 59 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Given how much CEOs are leaches on companies, it should be true as long as they don't replace the CEO.

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 39 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Jokes aside, it's almost certainly because the algorithms tell them that press mentions=interest=buy

RarePossum@programming.dev · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I think it's because they released their earnings report and it was positive actually

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 1 pts · 1y

I mean, yeah? They don't deny claims because it loses them money.

hmonkey@lemy.lol · 38 pts · 1y (1 reply)

There's a mission exactly like this in GTA V, you kill the LifeInvader CEO and watch the stock market go brrrrr

taiyang@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y

I really liked that one, it was soooo fucked though (no spoilers, but let's just say it's a bit mind blowing). It lead to similar side missions where you got to do that to others, too.

VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 34 pts · 1y (3 replies)

You know how expensive CEOs are? Huge expense suddenly gone.

RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 1y

No parachute fees either

sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1y

Their 'work' is among the easiest to automate.

But, automation for thee, profits for me, says C Suite, and so it shall be.

PriorityMotif@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

[ removed ]

DashboTreeFrog@discuss.online · 13 pts · 1y

Hope people are taking notes

Glide@lemmy.ca · 155 pts · 1y

We've been sacrificing underpaid workers, labourers and academics alike, to the stock market for years with such small returns. A single CEO is sacrificed and the line skyrockets.

We've been targeting the wrong people.

djsoren19@yiffit.net · 95 pts · 1y (1 reply)

You know how people like to satirize the stock market by claiming it runs on blood?

We're living in a satire.

Saint_La_Croix_Crosse@midwest.social · 12 pts · 1y

It is not satire, it is usually just that the blood sacrifices are usually more obfuscated and hidden.

Snapz@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 1y

He died doing what he loved... Hurting people during the exact worst moments of their entire lives, but through layers of obfuscation so he could treat people like widgets.

Einstein@sh.itjust.works · 55 pts · 1y

One CEO down, only a few thousand more to go.

kautau@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 1y (1 reply)

TheSaus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 1y

Ahaha can hear him saying it

Zachariah@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 1y

follow the money

sudo@programming.dev · 22 pts · 1y

Its actually way down now. That line jump is from Thompson selling his stocks before getting his claim denied. One of the reasons people suspected it being a hired hit (which I doubt).