We’re expected to believe that the peacocks personally recounted their lineage? In English? I feel like the author is just making things up at that point.
“I first went about the humane capture of the wildlife of C-100. A few peacocks were caught with bear traps, an iguana was captured via a falling piano, and a peacock bass was shot in the face with a shotgun, all in line with the standards set by the Florida Constitution [3].”
The inclusion of Pokédex Entry numbers is great.
Also, I like the sources cited for the paper. One of them is "Pigeon-Elephant Theory: the real origin of humans – Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology by B McGraw"
I first went about the humane capture of the wildlife of C-100. A few peacocks were caught with bear traps, an iguana was captured via a falling piano, and a peacock bass was shot in the face with a shotgun, all in line with the standards set by the Florida Constitution [3].
30 Comments
protist@mander.xyz · 61 pts · 1y
How soon before someone is citing this article as evidence? 😩
truthfultemporarily@feddit.org · 39 pts · 1y
The earth is only 6001 years old [1]!
1: https://szmer.info/post/7985802
protist@mander.xyz · 14 pts · 1y
😩
pennomi@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 1y
AlchemicalAgent@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 1y
I read through that entire thing, saw Charles, and just skipped right over it. That's perfect though.
exixx@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 1y
We’re expected to believe that the peacocks personally recounted their lineage? In English? I feel like the author is just making things up at that point.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 1y
Well after these peacocks were crushed by a piano, they might have been unable to recount anything at all.
I dunno, but I feel like the author might have taken some creative liberties here...
Ep1cFac3pa1m@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 1y
At first I thought it was satire, but when I saw the writer had the scientific Pokédex entries I knew it was legit
yesman@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 1y
I was tired of being a Darwinist. Now I follow the writings of Dickens; I'm a Dickhead.
fckreddit@lemmy.ml · 18 pts · 1y
You got me. This one is too good.
667@lemmy.radio · 24 pts · 1y
The first tell was the author using the first person, and the next tell was the piano falling.
Yawweee877h444@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 1y
Thankful I saw that first, very relieved.
fckreddit@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 1y
I only read the abstract. So I missed the piano falling part entirely.
i_love_FFT@jlai.lu · 9 pts · 1y
There are pokédex entry # for fossils!
fckreddit@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 1y
That is exactly what clued me in.
waz@feddit.uk · 8 pts · 1y
“I first went about the humane capture of the wildlife of C-100. A few peacocks were caught with bear traps, an iguana was captured via a falling piano, and a peacock bass was shot in the face with a shotgun, all in line with the standards set by the Florida Constitution [3].”
wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1y
You missed the pokedex entries too!
Semjaza@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 1y
My fave part was the expired crispr kits, arbitrarily cut off at desired date.
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 1y
So this is obviously satire but reading this it just sounded way too close to current reality for comfort.
I know that parts of the document are acme levels over the top but other parts sincerely read as if written by your average Maga idiot
Iunnrais@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 1y
Poe’s Law.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 15 pts · 1y
The inclusion of Pokédex Entry numbers is great.
Also, I like the sources cited for the paper. One of them is "Pigeon-Elephant Theory: the real origin of humans – Journal of Astrological Big Data Ecology by B McGraw"
hansolo@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 1y
Is there money in writing crap "research" papers like this?
I would be fine doing this under a pseudonym. But I know UFO researchers really have to hustle a ton. So maybe not?
notthebees@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 1y
People also do this to take the piss out of a junk journal. Usually ones that let anything through
hansolo@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 1y
Ooooohhhh... That's a thing? Let me guess, I have to pay to publish my ChatGPT-authored "research" proving that cats are actually aliens?
Adalast@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I have no idea, but I am guessing the religious right pays handsomely for anything "scientific" which supports their absolutely asinine beliefs.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 1y
WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y
Clicked thinking it was legit. Good find OP!
lemmur@szmer.info · 2 pts · 1y
Thanks!
Semjaza@lemmynsfw.com · 6 pts · 1y
Only a few bites because people, understandably, aren't biting that headline.
Share a screenshot of the article instead and they'll be all over it.
Midnitte@beehaw.org · 4 pts · 1y
Truly gold.
Edit: Didn't realize this was Immaterial Science - my favorite is the FUPLC-NMR-CE6-GC-IR-ICP-MS-MS-MS-MS (pdf warning)
Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 1y
Take that creationists, 6001 proves God couldn't have done it