Someone's never had their balls shaved as smooth as a Christmas ham. You can definitely get bubbles floating up past your balls, but it takes a decent amount of sweat and a complete lack of hair

GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y

A fart is nowhere near as bad as the inside of a dirty toilet 😅

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 0 pts · 2y

I think I'd rather have my junk hanging outside my body than to have a fart do a 180 on me

wil@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 79 pts · 2y (2 replies)

As a pussy haver. What the fuck

motor_spirit@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 2y

[ removed ]

Blimp7990@reddthat.com · 8 pts · 2y

[ removed ]

WhyIDie@lemmy.ml · 65 pts · 2y (4 replies)

[ removed ]

bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 61 pts · 2y (3 replies)

The dreaded double dutch

aaron_griffin@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (2 replies)

[ removed ]

Old_Fat_White_Guy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Instructions unclear.... just shit in Koi pond while attempting to Dutch oven a fish.

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 2y

God: this is why I made everything a sin.

grayman@lemmy.world · 64 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I was helping my daughter (3) pee. Pee came out of 3 places at once at one point, then 2.

I'll keep my ding dong, thanks.

razieltakato@lemmy.eco.br · 9 pts · 2y

Double espresso

kevinbacon@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 2y (1 reply)

W-what?

BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 2y

It's true.

Scrof@sopuli.xyz · 53 pts · 2y (13 replies)

At least we can all relate to water splashes.

Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 37 pts · 2y (6 replies)

Oh man I had diarrhea in a porta-potty a couple weeks ago and got some splash back. I was not a happy camper.

papajohn@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 2y

I call bullshit. No one survives the blue touch.

Dick_Justice@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Was it almost full or something? Usually the... stuff... is pretty far below the seat

persolb@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 2y (2 replies)

That diahrea might have been extra energetic; falling at faster than terminal velocity

Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 2y

Oh yeah it was super energetic

4am@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y

Yeah you know those slow motion videos of the water droplet that bounces up from the surface tension?

Well, that. At scale.

Boddhisatva@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

[ removed ]

xpinchx@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Poseidon's Kiss™️

HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Lol (not porn, but on redgifs because nsfw I guess?) https://www.redgifs.com/watch/unhealthylivelybarbet

CannedTuna@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y

A perfect example of something that should be tagged NSFW, but isn’t porn.

OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 2y

Cold water splashing on our buttholes is the great gender equalizer.

drem@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

If you live in europe or asia (i think) then probably not

khannie@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Continental Europe maybe. On the islands ye be gettin' Poseidon's kiss.

TheLowestStone@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Relax guys. We all know girls don't fart.

TheWoozy@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

I can tell you haven't met my GF.

Nfntordr@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 2y (6 replies)

If only my dick was big enough to touch the inside of the bowl

spader312@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 2y (1 reply)

You don't want it to be, the cold touch of a toilet bowl specially a dirty public restroom gives me chills

radioactiveradio@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 2y

Only if there was some protective skin to protect the pp head.

DaBabyAteMaDingo@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Tell me about it. My short stack can only rest comfortably on my nuts perched on the seat - it's that or having my head get shredded by the razor edge of the seat lol

Lil dick click rise-up! We need to fight for our RIGHTS. We can't take this shit no more!

Nfntordr@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Is that when your dick is buried into your nut suck so when you pee, you piss all over your balls?

littlecolt@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Hilarious, but Buried Penis is a real condition. Small dick + overweight can be a horrible combo. If you have huge balls it's probably the ultimate triple threat. Best be carrying wet wipes to freshen up heh

DaBabyAteMaDingo@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 2y

Don't use me to feel better about your shit, little dick.

koyo@ani.social · 46 pts · 2y

im with everyone here. what the fuck

Dream_state@aussie.zone · 38 pts · 2y (6 replies)

The old witches kiss

greyscale@lemmy.sdf.org · 12 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Its neptunes kiss when you let a turd go and water shoots back up your asshole from the splash.

metallic_z3r0@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

illustration: https://youtu.be/_eTsrtZdAJc

ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 2y

I don't know what I was expecting

Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 2y

*Poseidons Kiss

cyber_kalashnikov@lemmygrad.ml · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

In Portuguese Brazilian this has this exact name! Wow!

telllos@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Same in French, le baiser de la sorcière.

Son_of_dad@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 2y (6 replies)

I'm a guy and I've had those farts that escape up between your leg and balls and pop out the top

gonzo0815@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Is it ok to like those?

maiskanzler@feddit.de · 53 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Whatever tickles your pickle.

Pyroglyph@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2y

Fuck you, well done.

Son_of_dad@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

I'm 39 and they make me giggle like an idiot

madkins@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y

[ removed ]

4am@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

Slouching at the PC gets me every time :(

OtakuAltair@lemm.ee · 34 pts · 2y

What the fuck

Fhek@lemm.ee · 22 pts · 2y

The requeefining.

dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 2y (8 replies)

When I shit my dick touch the water

victron@programming.dev · 40 pts · 2y (2 replies)

You're not supposed to shit in the urinals, my dude.

phorq@lemmy.ml · 18 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Then why are they butt-level???

_g_be@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

Why are you shitting your dick?

Stumblinbear@pawb.social · 5 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Ahhh, good ol' Poseidon's Kiss

Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Na, that's when the water splashes up to your bunghole. Poseidons Kiss.

You're thinking of the Witches Kiss.

Stumblinbear@pawb.social · 3 pts · 2y

No that's when it touches the toilet itself, not the water

CheeseToastie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Splash!

Mercival@lemm.ee · 19 pts · 2y (3 replies)

My friend told me of the horror of your menstrual cup falling into a public toilet. I'd take licking the bowl over that shit any day of the week.

thawed_caveman@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y

This is why you keep spare pads or tampons or we.

The one day you don't have them, that's when the worse will happen

dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Just leave it.

Madbrad200@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 2y

Please don't

Someone will either have to clean it up for you anyway or it goes down the drain and contributes to your local drainage problems

platysalty@kbin.social · 18 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Alright how many of you in here trying to make your dick fart right now?

ShouldIHaveFun@lemmy.pec0ra.ch · 9 pts · 2y

I'm trying to have my dick touch the inside of the toilet bowl.

ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Technically if you get a fistula you can shit out of your dick.

I wish I didn't know that, and yet I do.

kamenlady@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

And now, we all know too

Fistula would be a great name for a porn character though.

Case@unilem.org · 17 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I'd rather re-fart my own fart, than have my dick dip into a public toilet again.

One is slightly, uncomfortable, maybe? The other opens the mind to all the diseases that could potentially infect your dick in a public toilet. Unlikely? Sure. Possible? In some cases, with some diseases, yes - however slim.

Mojojojo1993@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

Y'all toilet water is too fucking high

db2@sopuli.xyz · 17 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Worse when it touches the water though.

TFS@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Just wrap it around your thigh, problem solved

froghorse@lemm.ee · 25 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Little known fact : you can halve the length of your penis with a simple figure-eight knot.

yukichigai@kbin.social · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

[CBT intensifies]

kamenlady@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

The opener band was We are born between piss and shit, then CBT came on stage. I think the singer really got the best piss gurgling voice I've ever heard. That was a wild concert.

db2@sopuli.xyz · 5 pts · 2y

Thumbs up crying cat meme

sagrotan@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Fat ass man here, can fart in 3 voices at the same time, I conserve one in the under ass, one in the upper ass and let them out the same time. You should've seen the admiring faces from the two cops in the front of the car. I even did it with cuffs. They totally wanted autographs.

Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

Next time take a shit.

Blimp7990@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 2y

[ removed ]

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 15 pts · 2y (9 replies)

(cis)Women also will never know the pain of sitting on their own balls.

smileyhead@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 2y (8 replies)

Never happened. Is this even possible? They always find a way to slip up or down.

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 11 pts · 2y

I sat on my balls a bit before seeing this thread, which is why I thought of it.

Uncle_Bagel@midwest.social · 9 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Definitely happens of you aren't careful sitting down. Feels a bit like squeezing a grape too hard

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 11 pts · 2y

Except when I squeeze a grape too hard, it doesn't hurt me.

Dekthro@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I once accidently kicked my self in the nuts when I went to sit down. It wasn't pleasant.

TheLowestStone@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I have also done this and never encounter anyone else who has.

Dekthro@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y

Brother!

5redie8@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y

Its happened to me exactly once on a hard school chair and I still remember it, so uh yeah lol

Lemmylefty@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Not inside the vagina, but the…bubble, for lack of a better term, can meander to the opening and sit there until you surreptitiously take a long stride. Might be what they mean.

MissJinx@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y

weirdly accurate

TheLobotomist@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Can some woman confirm this is legit? Seems very hard to believe

RaptorMother@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It is... And honestly, I can't tell which one is worse. I will say, the first time it happened, I was terrified, thought something was wrong with me

TheLobotomist@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

Probably the fact that you gave birth to a raptor had something to do with it...

Dantpool@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

My roommate's a woman, and has confirmed that this happens

Drusas@kbin.social · 9 pts · 2y

I'm a woman and also find it hard to believe. Definitely has never happened to me. I can't imagine it's common.