Sounds like they got the intensity off a little tho:
I want to make it clear, I’m not calling on dark forces to cause him harm. I just want him to wake up every morning with an inexplicable zit. I want his podcast microphone to malfunction every time he hits record. I want his blue blazers to suddenly all be one size too small. I want one of his socks to always be sliding down his foot. I want his thumb to grow too big to tweet. To ruin his day with the collective feminist power of the Etsy coven would be my life’s greatest joy.
They did pay for the "shit your pants" spell, and that does happen shortly after death...so in a roundabout monkey's paw sort of way I guess that one worked
In 2020 there was a worldwide pagan ritual on Halloween (in which I participated) to bind Trump in order to prevent his election. Biden won. In 2024, there was no collective ritual and we know how that turned out. I don't actually believe in magic, but at this point, I'm happy to hedge(witch) my bets.
So, did my Etsy curses work? Time will tell. The forces move in mysterious ways, and as the Priestess reminded me, “Spellwork is a collaboration between the caster, the client, and the universe itself.” For now, we can only trust in the timing of the great unknown.
do not worry, they are panicked as fuck and busy cleansing their space now that a spell has worked, and busy preparing a Big Spell for the equinox with everyone else
49 Comments
tidderuuf@lemmy.world · 112 pts · 338d
Wow, that is impeccable timing.
givesomefucks@lemmy.world · 69 pts · 338d
47 hours and 21 minutes before he was shot....
Sounds like they got the intensity off a little tho:
Maybe they forgot Venus was in retrograde?
ctry21@sh.itjust.works · 53 pts · 338d
They did pay for the "shit your pants" spell, and that does happen shortly after death...so in a roundabout monkey's paw sort of way I guess that one worked
FaceDeer@fedia.io · 29 pts · 338d
There were so many "minor bad thing happens" spells on him that the cosmos combined them all for ease of bookkeeping.
you_are_dust@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 338d
I guess you don't get to make specific demands when you start calling on the forces of darkness.
SabinStargem@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 337d
If this is the work of the Lord of Insufficient Light, I am very much a fan.
Riftinducer@aussie.zone · 9 pts · 338d
It's that "ruin his day with the collective feminist power of the Etsy coven" line that gets me. Talk about undersell, overdeliver
makyo@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 338d
Maybe they got confused by an exponent or a measurement conversion
A7thStone@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 337d
I must've put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. Shit, I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail.
-Michael Bolton
makyo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 337d
Woww is that your real name? Are you related to that singer guy?
hector@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 338d
This was jupiter's work if I have ever seen it.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 337d
i dunno, jupiter's more of a through the forehead and suddenly you figure something important about your life out as you die guy. or was that athena?
oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 100 pts · 338d
I am getting so many uses out of this meme today
Okokimup@lemmy.world · 50 pts · 338d
In 2020 there was a worldwide pagan ritual on Halloween (in which I participated) to bind Trump in order to prevent his election. Biden won. In 2024, there was no collective ritual and we know how that turned out. I don't actually believe in magic, but at this point, I'm happy to hedge(witch) my bets.
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 337d
… I don’t tell many people this but I feel like you can help carry my burden.
I dropped a toasted buttered bagel on election night, it landed on the floor butter side up.
Okokimup@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 337d
I volunteered at the polls on election day and ran over a cardinal on the way there. That's when I knew we were cooked.
AtariDump@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 338d
stinky@redlemmy.com · 3 pts · 338d
I keep seeing you post it and I don't know how it applies to Charlie Kirk
davidgro@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 338d
It applies to Etsy witches
Nougat@fedia.io · 69 pts · 338d
Thank you for your service, Etsy Witches.
Wytch@lemmy.zip · 65 pts · 338d
The Universe says, "hold my beer."
9blb@feddit.org · 27 pts · 338d
He sure was spouting blood from his neck.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org · 18 pts · 338d
The great unknown has a sense of humor it seems
lordbritishbusiness@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 338d
It's particularly fond of irony I find.
moody@lemmings.world · 40 pts · 338d
If anyone deserves a tip for exceptional service, it's those Etsy witches.
murvel@feddit.nu · -6 pts · 338d
For doing fuck-all?
mcbenavides85@piefed.social · 37 pts · 338d
antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 25 pts · 337d
Wow. Curse of hatred on the new moon in August. Dead just after the Full moon of September. I hope the author purchased the protection spell.
merdaverse@lemmy.zip · 23 pts · 338d
Those witches could make a fortune with a time limited discount for hexes on Trump
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 337d
And P eter The il
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 337d
Peter think has evil protection magic.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 337d
The curse of McDonald's
clot27@lemmy.zip · 19 pts · 337d
This is how religion starts
Kyrgizion@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 337d
Looks like their caster rolled a nat 20 and scored the crit of a lifetime.
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 337d
"Hold my staff, fam"
Bot@sub.community · 3 pts · 337d
You Shall Not Pass!
DannyMac@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 337d
"Etsy witches." So that's what hitmen are calling themselves online now?
Lemminary@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 337d
I mean, it's manual labor from a distance, what else would you call it?
tkk13909@sopuli.xyz · 17 pts · 338d
Fucking hell this just gets better:
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 337d
man i ain't never cast no curse, always felt it was bad juju, but i gotta look into this shit.
new moon near the equinox comin up. hrm...
SaltSong@startrek.website · 14 pts · 338d
Well, that's customer satisfaction.
habitualcynic@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 338d
How
do Ican my friend contact them?HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 337d
do not worry, they are panicked as fuck and busy cleansing their space now that a spell has worked, and busy preparing a Big Spell for the equinox with everyone else
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 337d
Wow those witches are just really direct.
EvanCarroll@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 337d
No refund needed.
skhayfa@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 338d
Who else is in their cursor?
pyre@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 337d
man, i bet business is booming for Etsy witches right now
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 337d
Five stars, would unholy ritual summon again!
Bot@sub.community · 2 pts · 338d
Kickstart 'Curse Charlie KirK'
LittleBorat3@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 337d
Guy shot, killer not found, perfect. Could they lay out how one would curse someone like this?
Do I have to ask gpt about this for my fictional novel?
kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 337d