Once every 2-3 years I forget what they're like, see a box on the shelves, and think hey they actually look quite fun.
Then I get it home and the contents look fuck all like the picture on the front, and also it tastes, not bad as such, but disappointing and definitely not worth the calories.
The filling is like a bad taxidermy. You know what it is but it's just not right. Icing is more of the same. The biscuit(?) part is cake flavored cardboard.
It’s trying to be some kind of fruit filled pastry. Imagine the cheapest ingredients you could source, to mass produce as many as possible with the longest shelf life possible. I think they probably come frozen? I haven’t had one since I was a kid like 30 years ago, and that would have been at a friends house because my parents wouldn’t but that crap.
I do eat other frozen type junk food though. Like frozen burritos. So it’s not like it’s beneath me or anything.
After last week's poodle-doping scandal and a Rottweiler disqualified for using non-standard toaster pastries, this good dog might just retrieve the gold in the Pup Tart Stacking category. Impressive showing at the very least.
55 Comments
TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world · 48 pts · 329d
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 329d
lambdabeta@lemmy.ca · 42 pts · 329d
My favourite part has to be the fact that a box of poptarts contains 8 poptarts...
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 11 pts · 329d
You sound like a knower of the poptart. Please explain to me what they taste like, I have never tried one.
skisnow@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 329d
Once every 2-3 years I forget what they're like, see a box on the shelves, and think hey they actually look quite fun.
Then I get it home and the contents look fuck all like the picture on the front, and also it tastes, not bad as such, but disappointing and definitely not worth the calories.
arudesalad@piefed.ca · 10 pts · 329d
Cancer
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 5 pts · 329d
From what I've read, we've all eaten cancer in industry meat like pig and cow.
... Poptarts taste like steak?
abcdqfr@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 329d
No, like if cardboard got cancer and covered it in icing. Also the cancer is a sugary filling.
phdepressed@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 329d
The filling is like a bad taxidermy. You know what it is but it's just not right. Icing is more of the same. The biscuit(?) part is cake flavored cardboard.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 329d
Cheap garbage preservative junk food.
It’s trying to be some kind of fruit filled pastry. Imagine the cheapest ingredients you could source, to mass produce as many as possible with the longest shelf life possible. I think they probably come frozen? I haven’t had one since I was a kid like 30 years ago, and that would have been at a friends house because my parents wouldn’t but that crap.
I do eat other frozen type junk food though. Like frozen burritos. So it’s not like it’s beneath me or anything.
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 329d
You're right about everything except the frozen part. They can just sit in a box in your cupboard because they're basically made of plastic.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 329d
Yeah I wasn’t sure on that part. That’s crazy that the filling is shelf stable and keeps.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 328d
They are incredibly flammable. Basically just a slab of glucose fructose.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 329d
Cardboard
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 328d
with old jam
AA5B@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 328d
You have to buy frosted. You have to toast them. Otherwise they’re just cardboard: you can’t really tell them apart from the box
ekZepp@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 329d
Lemmy do it for you.... Koni.
https://za.pinterest.com/pin/992691942842876990/
felsiq@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 328d
Isn’t it Kerbie, or am I missing another layer of joke?
Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 325d
it's kermie, because the audio is miss piggy
felsiq@piefed.zip · 2 pts · 322d
Thanks, this is what I was thinking of but fucked up my muppets lore haha
SolarMyth@aussie.zone · 15 pts · 329d
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 328d
perfect
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 329d
After last week's poodle-doping scandal and a Rottweiler disqualified for using non-standard toaster pastries, this good dog might just retrieve the gold in the Pup Tart Stacking category. Impressive showing at the very least.
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 9 pts · 329d
Have you tried putting stacks of pop tarts down along the beak? I'm sure you could do 4x10 on that aircraft carrier.
don@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 329d
“beak” lol you mean “muzzle”?
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 7 pts · 329d
no i mean "Hangarenshiffeschnozzle".
prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 328d
Derlöngënsniffer
Assassassin@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 329d
How many pop tarts long is snoot?
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 329d
The factory hasn't produced enough to finish the measurement yet.
Assassassin@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 329d
That tracks, I don't think anyone can count high enough anyway
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 329d
You're doing good work
phdepressed@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 329d
Why you putting poptarts on pizza?
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 329d
Is a poptart a pizza?
DJDarren@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 329d
🎶Poptarts on a borzoi You know, you know This is serious 🎶
krunklom@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 329d
Someone get this person a Nobel prize.
TheTetrapod@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 329d
"'Do you have games on your phone?"
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 329d
Does he get to eat the poptarts afterwards?
Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 329d
J'aime ça des poptarts.
Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 329d
😂
aceshigh@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 329d
That’s one long nose. What’s the breed?
Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip · 19 pts · 329d
Probably some kind of anteater
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 329d
I've heard tell of a long pig? Could this be it?
Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 329d
Definitely not. Long pig is usually found adrift at sea.
onyxjet@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 329d
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borzoi
This fella
brunchyvirus@fedia.io · 4 pts · 329d
Looks like a borzoi/Russian wolfhound
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 329d
It's a Borzoi. Narrow dog with a white coat and a hose nose.
TachyonTele@piefed.social · 4 pts · 329d
This is the intro to a horror movie. You can't fool me.
zd9@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 329d
l o n g b o y e
socsa@piefed.social · 3 pts · 328d
Great now it has captured my soul
padge@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 329d
I had to count them myself to be sure. Checks out.
unrealizedrealities@kbin.melroy.org · 3 pts · 329d
Bouger moi
toynbee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 328d
I want a picture of this dog from a different angle.
ickplant@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 328d
Here you go:
toynbee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 328d
Thanks friend!
4am@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 328d
https://youtube.com/shorts/7UQbjCTNGaM