Not the broccoli. I love broccoli, but Ron does not. Watch 'Parks & Rec'. Specifically the episode where Rob Lowe cooks him mushroom steaks. Or the episode where he cooks the pig. Do you even know 'bout Ron Swanson.
Fucking same, apparently, that looks great to me, shit.
Maybe switch to more bitter grapes, and maybe use something like ... a mix of gouda and feta with the broccoli, pour over after slightly steaming the broccoli?
Throw in a slice or two of french bread?
That's a feast for a king as far as I'm concerned.
Pretty sure giving alcohol to your own children, in your own house, is just fine. Hell, kids are allowed to partake in drinking the communion wine at church.
I've never given my kid alcohol, but I think the reason kids can have communion wine is that the law addresses a blood alcohol level. This is to accommodate things like communion wine and medicines, like NyQuil, that have small amounts of alcohol as one of their ingredients. (This is based on a post I read back when I used Reddit.)
Pretty sure that if a legal authority saw you hand your five year old a beer or spirit, they'd have something to say about it.
It depends on the state. In 31 of them, it is totally legal for a parent to give their own underage child alcohol. Most of them also specify that it's only allowed inside your home or as part of religious ceremony, so even there you could be in trouble if you're giving little Timmy a whiskey sour out in public.
Yeah, I saw the other comment indicating that elsewhere in the thread and tried to edit my comment, but I think lemmy.world and Cloudflare might be having connectivity issues of some sort right now so edits are mostly a no go.
The state I grew up in is not one of the 31, so that's why the concept is alien to me, I suppose; the state I live in now is one of them, but I doubt I'll give my kid any alcohol for some time. Regardless, thank you for following up!
Seventeen states (Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Florida, Kentucky, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, and Wyoming) and the District of Columbia have laws against possession of alcohol by minors, but they do not prohibit its consumption by minors.
Fourteen states (Alaska, Colorado, Delaware, Illinois, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Ohio, Oregon, Texas, Wisconsin, and Virginia) specifically permit minors to drink alcohol given to them by their parents or by someone entrusted by their parents.^[citation needed]^
Many states also permit the drinking of alcohol under the age of 21 for religious or health reasons.
If you're in one of the above states, it's probably fine as long as you're with her. As a backup, just invent your own religion that has a special ceremony at age 5, consisting of this exact meal, with wine.
I mostly assume it's one of those "don't get crazy and get caught" situations. You let them taste some alcohol every once in a while so they don't get weird ideas about it and go too hard when they get older. But we're talking tastes, not shots. If they show up drunk with alcohol poisoning, I suspect you will have to answer some unfriendly questions to answer in all of the states. (Also, I mean, it's bad for them. Don't do that.)
Aside from the grapes that's a hella fine dinner. Heck I'd even do the grapes but fancy . Good life choices here. In my day my day was the metal man Swanson fried chicken dinner with the brownie.
Grapes are awesome, frozen grapes even more so. Not only are they grape great by themselves, but you can use them in lieu of ice cubes to keep your drinks cold without diluting them.
As a father who fails at trying to convince my 3 year old daughter to try something else besides Mac and Cheese and grapes every.single.night for dinner, you're winning at this parenting thing.
Pretty solid meal. Looks fancy. I agree with whoever said grape juice in a wine glass. Anything in a wine glass makes it fancy, actually.
I am trying to remember what my kids wanted at that age. I think they mostly would have requested chili. Did feed them lots of different things and all grew up with good broad palates.
Weirdly my daughter (whose meal this is) used to like spicy food. Especially pork rinds and spicy pickles, but now she won't eat it. Being a kid is a funny thing.
I'm an adult and I still don't like the stem. But I'm more strategic about it now. Save the stem for pot pies, stir fry, etc. use the tops for everything else!
At least you won't have to eat your spaghetti with ketchup and mustard like my youngest wants. We indulge him, but I'm hoping he'll grow out of it, honestly. Any leftovers on his plate are always inedible because he wants fuckin mustard on all his shit.
Yikes. Both my kids will do ketchup and mustard on a corn dog, but no other mustard for them so far. Putting the combo on spaghetti is... wild. What else do you eat that calls for mustard for littles?
Apples, sharp cheddar, and mustard is pretty good. I don't usually like fruit in savory things but that combo is nice. And we are honeycrisp all the way.
He'll want mustard on his noodles whenever we eat Asian wok. Because the noodles look like spaghetti. He'll want mustard with his Bolognese. Stuff like that. Disgusting.
At fancy get-togethers, my step used to serve some sort of red or white juice in Bordeaux glasses for the children, when adults had wine and sparkling juice in flutes when when we had champagne. It served two purposes: it prepared children for adult formal events while also making the children feel more important. And if a kid's table was necessary, yes, an adult sat with the kids, to assist as necessary.
Idk if she has had dill yet... I can say for sure she likes cheese and asparagus (but the pictures cheese is melted Velveeta so it definitely doesn't count).
68 Comments
IcedRaktajino@startrek.website · 98 pts · 325d
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 51 pts · 325d
Thankfully, she did not ask for "all the bacon we have".
IcedRaktajino@startrek.website · 21 pts · 325d
There's always next birthday lol.
Speculater@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 324d
What you may hear is, give me a lot of bacon.
threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 323d
What I said is "give me all the bacon you have".
brem@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 325d
Ron would laugh at the broccoli and ask "Why is the things I feed to my food next to the real food?"
Edit: word
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 7 pts · 325d
It’s got cheese on it and Ron is a man of taste.
He’d eat this shit like it was Tammy II’s tuna tunnel.
brem@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 324d
Not the broccoli. I love broccoli, but Ron does not. Watch 'Parks & Rec'. Specifically the episode where Rob Lowe cooks him mushroom steaks. Or the episode where he cooks the pig. Do you even know 'bout Ron Swanson.
Ben ass mofo. Get in touch with lil Sebastian.
Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 324d
Ron wouldn't be caught dead eating stunted trees.
Edit: missed the contraction.
Batmancer@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 323d
Maybe if it were jammed into a Paunch Burger.
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world · 54 pts · 325d
TIL I am 5.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 325d
Fucking same, apparently, that looks great to me, shit.
Maybe switch to more bitter grapes, and maybe use something like ... a mix of gouda and feta with the broccoli, pour over after slightly steaming the broccoli?
Throw in a slice or two of french bread?
That's a feast for a king as far as I'm concerned.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 3 pts · 325d
Gouda and feta?
I used to an actually respect you.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 324d
Why wouldn't you?
Its a perfect combo for not only gloriously blasting your tastebuds, but also ass blasting out the creamiest of farts.
As the saying goes:
Get behind me, Satan.
(Mix in some asiago too, to taste, of course)
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 39 pts · 325d
Awww... But it's their birthday!
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 325d
We still (😭) live in the US, dammit!
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 325d
You can do lots of stuff in the US. Just don't get caught!
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 19 pts · 325d
Pretty sure giving alcohol to your own children, in your own house, is just fine. Hell, kids are allowed to partake in drinking the communion wine at church.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 325d
Yeah but then you'd have to go in a church.
threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 325d
People often say "god is everywhere", or whatever. Just invent a religion and decree that your house is a church of it.
grue@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 325d
As a bonus, it also works for tax evasion.
Smeagol666@crazypeople.online · 3 pts · 325d
If God is everywhere, He's up your ass too.
threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 325d
And also up yours.
God is up all our asses on this blessed day.
toynbee@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 325d
I've never given my kid alcohol, but I think the reason kids can have communion wine is that the law addresses a blood alcohol level. This is to accommodate things like communion wine and medicines, like NyQuil, that have small amounts of alcohol as one of their ingredients. (This is based on a post I read back when I used Reddit.)
Pretty sure that if a legal authority saw you hand your five year old a beer or spirit, they'd have something to say about it.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 5 pts · 325d
It depends on the state. In 31 of them, it is totally legal for a parent to give their own underage child alcohol. Most of them also specify that it's only allowed inside your home or as part of religious ceremony, so even there you could be in trouble if you're giving little Timmy a whiskey sour out in public.
toynbee@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 325d
Yeah, I saw the other comment indicating that elsewhere in the thread and tried to edit my comment, but I think lemmy.world and Cloudflare might be having connectivity issues of some sort right now so edits are mostly a no go.
The state I grew up in is not one of the 31, so that's why the concept is alien to me, I suppose; the state I live in now is one of them, but I doubt I'll give my kid any alcohol for some time. Regardless, thank you for following up!
threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 325d
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legal_drinking_age
If you're in one of the above states, it's probably fine as long as you're with her. As a backup, just invent your own religion that has a special ceremony at age 5, consisting of this exact meal, with wine.
psivchaz@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 324d
I mostly assume it's one of those "don't get crazy and get caught" situations. You let them taste some alcohol every once in a while so they don't get weird ideas about it and go too hard when they get older. But we're talking tastes, not shots. If they show up drunk with alcohol poisoning, I suspect you will have to answer some unfriendly questions to answer in all of the states. (Also, I mean, it's bad for them. Don't do that.)
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 325d
Well... Our state isn't listed. But if you can't trust Lemmy posts then who can you trust?!
psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 324d
Nobody snitching!
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 324d
A daughter with such refined tastes is a treasure
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 324d
She's great. It was between this meal and chicken nuggets for her I think lol.
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 324d
A very expensive one, to be sure.
Zedd_Prophecy@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 325d
Aside from the grapes that's a hella fine dinner. Heck I'd even do the grapes but fancy . Good life choices here. In my day my day was the metal man Swanson fried chicken dinner with the brownie.
toynbee@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 325d
Grapes are awesome, frozen grapes even more so. Not only are they
grapegreat by themselves, but you can use them in lieu of ice cubes to keep your drinks cold without diluting them.lazynooblet@lazysoci.al · 7 pts · 324d
The fact it is a bit of cheese melted on top and not cheese sauce triggers.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 324d
It's melted Velveeta with some milk in it to make it runny. My plate here was last to get made so it sort of re congealed.
EveningPancakes@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 325d
As a father who fails at trying to convince my 3 year old daughter to try something else besides Mac and Cheese and grapes every.single.night for dinner, you're winning at this parenting thing.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 325d
Thanks! This kid will eat anything. Her little brother is a nightmare to feed...
RBWells@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 323d
Pretty solid meal. Looks fancy. I agree with whoever said grape juice in a wine glass. Anything in a wine glass makes it fancy, actually.
I am trying to remember what my kids wanted at that age. I think they mostly would have requested chili. Did feed them lots of different things and all grew up with good broad palates.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 323d
Weirdly my daughter (whose meal this is) used to like spicy food. Especially pork rinds and spicy pickles, but now she won't eat it. Being a kid is a funny thing.
commander@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 325d
When I was 5 I also liked the leafy broccoli part. Tolerated just a bit of the stem
BlueLineBae@midwest.social · 7 pts · 325d
I'm an adult and I still don't like the stem. But I'm more strategic about it now. Save the stem for pot pies, stir fry, etc. use the tops for everything else!
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 325d
Stem is my favorite part honestly. But I'd rather not cook it, just cut the hard outer layer off.
victorz@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 325d
At least you won't have to eat your spaghetti with ketchup and mustard like my youngest wants. We indulge him, but I'm hoping he'll grow out of it, honestly. Any leftovers on his plate are always inedible because he wants fuckin mustard on all his shit.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 325d
Yikes. Both my kids will do ketchup and mustard on a corn dog, but no other mustard for them so far. Putting the combo on spaghetti is... wild. What else do you eat that calls for mustard for littles?
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 325d
Granny smith slices are heavenly with a dab of brown mustard. Has to be Granny smith though.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 325d
Really, apples? We are a honeycrisp house but I'll try anything.
RBWells@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 322d
Apples, sharp cheddar, and mustard is pretty good. I don't usually like fruit in savory things but that combo is nice. And we are honeycrisp all the way.
threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 316d
Honeycrisp gang, unite!
victorz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 324d
He'll want mustard on his noodles whenever we eat Asian wok. Because the noodles look like spaghetti. He'll want mustard with his Bolognese. Stuff like that. Disgusting.
Protoknuckles@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 325d
...health reasons?
victorz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 324d
No because mustard on spaghetti is disgusting to me. 😆
robocall@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 325d
Pretty sophisticated meal for a 5 year old
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 325d
She specifically requested steak bacon and grapes. The bacon we thought was kinda weird for dinner, but it was a surprisingly satisfying addition.
The next few days will have to be salads to counter the fat though.
robocall@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 325d
Does she eat salad?
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 325d
Loves it. Been requesting it since she was 2 basically.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 4 pts · 325d
At fancy get-togethers, my step used to serve some sort of red or white juice in Bordeaux glasses for the children, when adults had wine and sparkling juice in flutes when when we had champagne. It served two purposes: it prepared children for adult formal events while also making the children feel more important. And if a kid's table was necessary, yes, an adult sat with the kids, to assist as necessary.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 324d
Honestly…. As an adult, the kids table is way more fun.
Fizz@lemmy.nz · 4 pts · 325d
Get a glass of grape juice for the kids it looks like wine snd comes in a wine bottle
webghost0101@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 325d
I am just here to say the shock value of recognizing wine and reading its a menu for a 5yo is working.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 325d
I'm glad someone is reading closely.
TootSweet@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 325d
I have hope for the younger generations.
blakcod@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 325d
Add asparagus, shrimp and proper dill and garlic pickles and you have my kid as well. Oh and cheese.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 325d
Idk if she has had dill yet... I can say for sure she likes cheese and asparagus (but the pictures cheese is melted Velveeta so it definitely doesn't count).
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 325d
Velveeta isn't cheese it's cheez but it's got the calcium for the wee bones in her spooky skeleton.
dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 325d
Thank! Doot doot. #calcim