It's because in America, the entire country was built on a native burial ground and out ghosts are fucking PISSED. They don't want corn dogs, they want your bone marrow and teeth.
How come it's always some pale-ass Victorian era ghost? Where's all the ghosts of kids who died doing tiktok challenges? Wake up at the witching hour hearing a disembodied voice be like
Course it's the fucken Midwest, love em but I swear those lands have the same properties as the Black Forest or the bogs of Scotland. Which is to say the region is collectively insane in a very particular way.
I'll never forget I was 4 years old I asked my dad if the pictures on the wall could see. Without taking a moment to think, he simply said "Yes." I immediately suspected he was an idiot and that entire exchange has stayed with me.
That or we believe the only reason any dead person would stay in the US is because they're trying to do as much damage as physically possible as vengeance
Are we gonna acknowledge the hundreds/thousands of years Christians used their faith to invade and occupy numerous regions of the world? Then they enslaved the native people to extract local resources for the gain of the Church white people. Or in the case of America just lynch and murder the indigenous people. Maybe thats why Americans are afraid of their racist origins and ghosts
Yes that would the source of the negative karma but honestly most Americans are too busy mainlining Sprite and getting cheetoh dust in every possible human crevice while watching grown men give each other premature dementia to care.
I don't know if you know this, but there's Americans absolutely fucking everywhere around here. You'd want a gun if you were surrounded by Americans too
Exercise the scary house and banish needy house spirits like gnomes or brownies. If it's fae, tell them to get fucked, fae are the worst abusers. Don't let parasites dictate how you run your home.
Can confirm, have had mythical beast in house for a couple of decades at this point. Doesn't do any harm so long as we keep some coins taped to the wall nearby, protects the place otherwise.
Parents oughta be like: "Tell us more about these wall people!" and a couple hours later you got a film treatment like "Vengeance of the Wall People with their Eyes Always Open."
65 Comments
Red_October@piefed.world · 91 pts · 305d
It's because in America, the entire country was built on a native burial ground and out ghosts are fucking PISSED. They don't want corn dogs, they want your bone marrow and teeth.
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 305d
I have "organ donor" designated on my drivers license. Might that appease the vengeful spirits of our native American ancestors?
kurcatovium@piefed.social · 3 pts · 305d
Only if you donate them right now!
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 61 pts · 305d
How come it's always some pale-ass Victorian era ghost? Where's all the ghosts of kids who died doing tiktok challenges? Wake up at the witching hour hearing a disembodied voice be like
"On god I'm dead, no cap fam."
Deceptichum@quokk.au · 41 pts · 305d
Tuxman@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 305d
“Just like… uh.. Amanda was so… like… whatevuuuuur…”
Oh god!!! I need an exorcist NOW!!!
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 305d
Disco ghosts please
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 305d
If i got haunted by some fucking teen doing stupid shit for an ethereal smartphone camera i would be severely disappointed.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 305d
At that point I'm killing a rabbit with my bare hands just so I can beat the ghost. It ain't child abuse if they're already dead.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 305d
We should have all the disfigured kids killed in factory work from the early 1900s screaming curses at you in 1920s paperboy lingo.
kelseybcool@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 305d
They're all wearing sleep shirts
EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 49 pts · 305d
My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperial. Can you say the same?
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 305d
I do not have nearly enough Mormon blood on my hands for my ancestors to like me.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 305d
i think eating fried butter is the usual penance for that
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 305d
The fuck region are you from where they fry butter?
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 305d
I, too, need this information. I now know how and when I'm going to die, I just need to know where.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 305d
i was under the impression it was standard united states midwest fair food. freeze the butter, beer batter, fry.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 305d
Course it's the fucken Midwest, love em but I swear those lands have the same properties as the Black Forest or the bogs of Scotland. Which is to say the region is collectively insane in a very particular way.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 304d
Kinda, but it's also just an area in which Scots and Germans intermarried and built a culture together.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 304d
I'm pretty sure that's Scots.
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net · 2 pts · 304d
Same place that gives you fried coke
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 304d
Why would you fry the cocaine?!
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 304d
because it's delicious
blindbunny@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 305d
Damn this meme got me thinking about things
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 304d
Yeah, German ancestors get really happy when you endure pain for the pleasure of it
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 305d
I'd buy a carbon monoxide monitor, if I was that guy.
deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 12 pts · 305d
Good idea if they have gas. But it's probably just the photos framed on the wall.
Signtist@bookwyr.me · 15 pts · 305d
Or the electrical outlets. I always thought of them as little guys when I was a kid.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 305d
I don't think there's anyone in the world that still use town gas over methane.
Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 25 pts · 305d
wall people that have their eyes open are just family photos
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 305d
I'll never forget I was 4 years old I asked my dad if the pictures on the wall could see. Without taking a moment to think, he simply said "Yes." I immediately suspected he was an idiot and that entire exchange has stayed with me.
m0darn@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 305d
I was thinking maybe electrical outlets
shawn1122@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 305d
I think many Americans perceive themselves as having a spiritual 'negative karma' so to speak.
Especially religious people and in particular Christians that believe they are born with that negative karma (original sin).
P1k1e@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 305d
That or we believe the only reason any dead person would stay in the US is because they're trying to do as much damage as physically possible as vengeance
shawn1122@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 305d
Almost like a collective negative karma then, interesting.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 305d
theres some nice beaches to haunt
cdf12345@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 305d
And they’re breaching the living with mass shootings and suicides
Aneb@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 305d
Are we gonna acknowledge the hundreds/thousands of years Christians used their faith to invade and occupy numerous regions of the world? Then they enslaved the native people to extract local resources for the gain of the
Churchwhite people. Or in the case of America just lynch and murder the indigenous people. Maybe thats why Americans are afraid of their racist origins and ghostsshawn1122@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 305d
Yes that would the source of the negative karma but honestly most Americans are too busy mainlining Sprite and getting cheetoh dust in every possible human crevice while watching grown men give each other premature dementia to care.
Zachariah@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 305d
probably the puritans’ fault
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 9 pts · 305d
I wonder if it's because of what Americans did to the native population.
Crashumbc@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 305d
I mean, the US is bad, but everywhere is just as bad. Groups of humans have been killing other groups of humans and taking their land for millennia.
Korhaka@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 304d
I think they mostly mixed into the native population after a while though. At least in Europe. Australia should probably have the same problem.
GreenShimada@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 304d
It's because of movies and TV.
How many TV shows or movies would have lasted 4 minuets and had no drama or action if someone had just picked up a cell phone? Same thing here.
SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 305d
America was founded by people who moved out because they got scared.
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 305d
I embrace the ghosts in my dwellings. Americans are just afraid of everything. You can tell by how many guns they own, usually.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 305d
I don't know if you know this, but there's Americans absolutely fucking everywhere around here. You'd want a gun if you were surrounded by Americans too
qarbone@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 304d
What kinda "friendship" requires yearly appeasement? Y'all out here getting bullied and pretending they're besties.
GreenShimada@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 304d
This is actually the right way to approach them.
Exercise the scary house and banish needy house spirits like gnomes or brownies. If it's fae, tell them to get fucked, fae are the worst abusers. Don't let parasites dictate how you run your home.
Dadifer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 304d
I have a picture of a house on a leash going for a run.
Echolynx@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 305d
I wonder if it's due to the US not really having a strong culture of folklore, like in Europe or Asia.
salacious_coaster@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 305d
Can someone from "everywhere else" confirm?
BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 305d
Can confirm, have had mythical beast in house for a couple of decades at this point. Doesn't do any harm so long as we keep some coins taped to the wall nearby, protects the place otherwise.
Echolynx@lemmy.zip · 0 pts · 305d
Europe and Asia have extensive folklore traditions...
insomniac199@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 305d
Doesn't mean they stay in the haunted house lol
pyre@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 305d
they invented those traditions so that they can stay in the haunted house. being haunted ain't fun but moving is a fucking hassle.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 305d
yeah it aint like houses grow on trees
edit also the ghost in my kitchen is pretty cool
victorz@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 304d
I'm hoping this is tongue in cheek 😆👏
xxce2AAb@feddit.dk · 4 pts · 305d
May I suggest a nice rice porridge and foaming mug of hvitøl? It works around these parts.
blindbunny@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 305d
America has them too. They just tend to be the hyper progressives that society shunned. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Lay no hotdogs thou.
ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one · 3 pts · 305d
We use to take care of our fae friends.
Sergio@piefed.social · 3 pts · 305d
Parents oughta be like: "Tell us more about these wall people!" and a couple hours later you got a film treatment like "Vengeance of the Wall People with their Eyes Always Open."
Spacehooks@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 305d
https://youtube.com/shorts/BFb0gkFqfSs?MZlHsIbXWWTXFELm
Lol ppl may change their tube if the rent is cheap enough.
JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 305d
Now I have a hankering for a forest hot dog. Would anyone be so kind? Maybe a side of forest curly fries? Thank you for being a friend.
Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 305d
LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 304d
👻