I just finished watching a couple of the Bourne movies and I always enjoy a good fantasy break from reality once in a while. But as I watched it again, I began to notice more and more plot holes to everything and it became a game to me as I watched and noticed how in so many instances, Jason Bourne just wanders around in public with no masks or facial changes, yet in the background, they keep showing these sophisticated control stations by the CIA/FBI/Secret agencies that can monitor and scan literally anything and everything all at once. I know its movie magic but the film at one extreme leads us to believe that they can monitor everything ... yet on the other hand, their key suspect is able to just wander around in public without anyone seeing him.
So I thought to myself how it would be hilarious if someone digitally remastered one of the Bourne movies and turned every single character and person that appears into Jason Bourne ... even the women, black guys, Middle Eastern people, Asians, big fat people, children, old ladies ... main characters, officers, government officials, the president of the United States, waiters, agents, soldiers, background people ... make them all Jason Bourne.
25 Comments
xkbx@startrek.website · 34 pts · 288d
Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 35 pts · 288d
bacon_pdp@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 288d
monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 288d
They see everyone as Matt Damon?
Strobelt@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 288d
Only the ones Borne with it
bacon_pdp@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 287d
monkeyslikebananas2@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 287d
Wait what? I can tell black cats apart… some people can’t? Do they also look like Matt Damon?
siha@feddit.uk · 5 pts · 288d
Bourne, Bourne Again Shell
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 288d
Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich
Supervisor194@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 288d
Gary? hahaha Gary! Gaaaaary
boydster@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 288d
Oops! All Jason Bourne!
radix@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 288d
While they're at it, let's include image stabilization. Shaky cam was the worst film fad of the era.
masterspace@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 288d
It's not just shaky cam, the sequences straight up don't necessarily make cohesive physical sense. Like they show hits and moves in orders that don't properly flow into each other
I find it funny that one of the director's latest movies is the Road House remake, where they used a new technique that lets them show every impact in incredible clarity. Feels like he really took the shaky cam criticism to heart.
shalafi@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 288d
New Road House any good?
masterspace@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 288d
Yeah, yeah it is. It's got Conor McGregor in there as a villain, so you have to be ok with that, but if you are, it's honestly just a lot of fun. There's an unhingedness to it all that really tickles me in the right spot.
stonkage@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 288d
Also he never seems to get held up by flight delays, traffic or trips to the toilet because of a dodgy takeaway.
Bonesince1997@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 288d
Safe deposit box with passports, cash, and a bottle of Pepto.
yaroto98@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 288d
Oh, the movies have a TON of plot holes in them. But if you enjoy reading, the original trilogy is amazing. Half the reason those plot holes exist is they removed Carlos. He's the bad guy and the entire reason everything is happening.
masterspace@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 288d
Yeah, iirc first book is basically the length of the first three movies and entirely revolves around Carlos. I loved it when I read it in high school.
The movies were also pretty great, but i think I always expected that as I grew up I would understand the action sequences more, and it turns out that no, the action sequences are just nonsense and don't actually make sense.
yaroto98@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 288d
Yea, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly what they were trying to make. Good action fighting scenes held loosely together by low effort excuses disguised as plot. And based on how much money the movies made, it's hard to blame them for their decisions.
maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 288d
No one needs to hear this but I unironically prefer The Bourne Legacy.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 288d
Loved the movie but it had one of the biggest plot holes of them all .... how they could manufacture an international American passport with a razor and a photo in a hotel room and get by electronically controlled immigration systems to fly to the Philippines like it's still 1945
maniacalmanicmania@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 288d
Funny I don't remember that. Time for a rewatch! The film is ridiculous like all of them are, maybe even more so. Think about the whole drone scene at the start with the high powered rifle, the wolf, the tracking device etc. But of the four films it's the only one I go back to.
crank0271@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 288d
Jason Bourne Again
shalafi@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 288d
If you liked that, have you seen Enemy of the State? That one may deserve a modern take, been almost 30 years. (Ouch!)
verity_kindle@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 288d
That would get me to watch them, I would watch TF out of "Bourne: Multiply The Fun"! I gave up after the 2nd film and the 50th cryptic dialogue about Treadstone, I realized I didn't care any more what whoever did to turn him into a SuuperSekritAgent. WTF was it that made Bourne 3 to Infinity so dull? Skilled supporting actors, exotic locations, a semblance of a plot arc...
jstin86457@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 288d
I'd love to see this for The Truman Show.