What is the most important non-physical trait you need in a spouse?

Empathy

The ability to kill a yak from 200 yards away

willing to have calm debates and willingness to reevaluate ones stands on a matter.

The will to understand other people and to grow as a person yourself.

A sense of humor.

Trust.

All relationships are based on trust, without it, they are worthless

patience

As a pansexual, intellect is the #1 most attractive trait I find in a significant other. I need someone whom I can have a solid productive discussion with. Intimacy only takes you so far; if you can't bond on a mental or emotional level, then I can't stay engaged in a relationship with you.

Empathy is a close second; without empathy, I can't necessarily trust that your conversation or personal morals/goals are coming from a good place. And I will quickly start to doubt every choice you make in the relationship.

Physical attractiveness is always a bonus, but not required. I am happy with any gender, any body type. I have preferences, but they won't make or break a relationship. My wife used to worry because she has the opposite body type to some of my preferences. But I informed her that her differences gave me a new experience and helped me to better appreciate her body type. There's no such thing as a bad body type in my opinion.

I married my wife, not because of her looks or gender, but because she's my best friend in the whole world. The one person I can talk to about anything and not hold secrets from. We understand each other, wholly support each other, and can agree on most things. And the few things we disagree on doesn't hurt our relationship. You shouldn't blindly agree with everything anyway. It's good to have some conflicting opinions in your life so you don't get sucked into confirmation biases.

Again, discussion is key. If someone just accepts what you say without any personal thoughts or opinions, then I don't feel like they're able to make informed decisions or use critical thinking skills. And that's not attractive at all to me.

I want to be called out.

I love philosophy stuff and often I'll start to form an opinion that's a scientific or even problematic.

My lovely fiancé will often call out potentially shitty thoughts and I re-evaluate them.

Compassion.

Some of us need understanding from magnanimous people.

not be an abusive narcissist.

I'd appreciate that

Emotional maturity and financial responsibility

No one thing. It’s multiple

Honesty, respect, kindness, having similar interests

Trust/Honesty

You can't build anything lasting on lies.

humour

I chose my wife in large part for her honesty. It's much easier to teach a brutally honest person to be more tactful than to teach a dishonest person to be honest.

Likes good music.

They have to like basements as much as I do

Be able to have the patient to try to understand me and both of us look out for each other. Also, not being condescending but that is a bare minimum which sadly, not everyone follows. /:

Patience. Im very stupid and I work a lot, so I dont always have time to spend with you.

They can make me laugh. My wife is the funniest person I know.

There’s no 1 “golden trait.” If he/she has 1 important trait, but is lacking in all the rest, why bother? An empathetic, or humorous, or relatable prick is still a prick.

Being comfortable around them.

Wit

I would say piety.

Being able to listen, love, and not be a hostile feminist.

I think this excludes the latest generation, lol. But if you are a good woman in this generation, some guy will be very lucky.