As someone who was suicidal as a child and never thought to make it past 18:
I guess I just like living. I like putting the effort and seeing the results, even if it's a lot of effort for just a small payoff. I also like knowing that I matter, and that people around me are happy with my pressence.
I also really like the thought of making a change. Be vocal about my life experiences and maybe changing someone's mind. Swimming backstroke to be true to myself, and making a stance. The normal way is not the only way, you know?
I also adore art. I like connecting to a piece of art, seeing human emotions molded into such a fasinating sound, ambience, coreography, phrase, whatever. Knowing that someone felt something so strong and constant, that they had to rush to create something, and express it, share it with everyone with a tint of creativity, just as I do.
To answer your question, I'm gonna go with: Find something you like, and just keep doing it. I love creative works and human expression, but maybe you like something else. Biology, technology, cooking? Connect with it and start small. A small flower in a pot is enough.
The only way I can now describe how young me felt, is blind. I spiraled into a really awfully negative nihilism after an ugly life event that made me stop believing in God (to this day I consider myself an atheist, and I don't think that's ever gonna change. And I don't want it to change). I thought that life did not have a purpose, that all the suffering and the pain and the bad thoughts were all for nothing, since there was no meaning to it all. My only refuge to the pain was daydreaming about a world in which I was never born, in which I didn't hurt my friends. Everything else, didn't matter. The things that made me happy weren't working.
The years went by, the feeling stayed there. "Why do this, if I'm gonna end up dying anyways?".
But eventually, my vision started changing. Maybe it was just growing up, maybe it was meeting new people that challenged my perspective of the world, maybe it was finding my currently favorite music artist and seeing his journey. My memory is a bit foggy due to all the trauma, sorry. But my vision started going upside down. Suddenly it clicked for me: Life has no meaning, but that's not actually bad. It's freeing, actually. Existence being inherently meaningless meant that I had no greater expectations. If there truly was no meaning, what's stopping me from doing what makes me happy, and just keep doing it? Besides life obligations, I could do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. That's prime environment for experimenting, for discovering myself, and finding my own, small, not cosmic-level meaning that made me wake up every morning: Happiness. I was gonna fight with life so I could get the happiness I deserved, and that's what I'm doing to this day.
I know this answer won't magically cure the depression of everyone reading this. Some people just have fucked up dopamine receptors, some people do cling to religion, some people don't have the amount of freedom in their lives to do what they truly like. But I'm throwing my story here for the chance that it lifts at least one person up, even if that motivations lasts for just the rest of the day.
I also know the future is looking real bad. The things I thought I could be doing 3-4 years ago are off the table. And people seem more hateful with each day passing. That has taken a toll on me. Sometimes I just want to quit. But I'll keep fighting, for the people who cannot.
Maybe I can give you something back as I also look in horror at our world "leaders":
We have been making life better for average people for more than 10,000 years. This, too, shall pass. And those of us who keep trying to make things better for humanity have a long winning record if you look at a big enough picture. Hang in there.
This mf once walked away so far away from life he ended up getting a bird's eye view of what life really is.
Now dude's giving everyone the Buddha 26.2 public beta patch update.
Depends on the thing. Biological imperatives are kinda baked in genetically, for example. And how much "will to power" you have (in a Nietzschean kinda way) about different topics will determine how many fucks to give about any particular thing. There is probably some brain science that can point to particular regions as drivers of this process, which then becomes a mix of genetic predisposition, and also environment/experiences that shape brain development.
But take all of this with a giant grain of salt. These kinds of questions will have shades of an answer from different perspectives: philosophical, scientific, religious, etc. None of them are 100% correct because we still don't even understand consciousness
That's how they get their dopamine. I asked my doctor one time if it was true dopamine makes us do the things we do, he said yeah pretty much. You and your brain are two different people. Your brain wants dopamine, you do things that provide it.
In the part of the brain called the basal ganglia, dopamine plays a key role in muscle movement.
The firing of dopamine neurons in the VTA is strongly linked to motivation.
Dopamine is key to the formation of memories, especially those tethered to reward and novelty.
My father is a workaholic, even after retiring he found a couple of jigs to keep him busy almost full time. I tried to get him into videogames after retiring (he used to play a lot of SNES and Sega Genesis back n the day) and he didn't find any joy in it
I hate working, I do it as a means to get money for traveling and for my hobbies and I spend a lot of time playing videogames
So I guess my father gets his dopamine directly from working and I work to get money to fund stuff that give me dopamine
Now, what your particular wiring that triggers dopamine hits that are unique to any of us, we only find out by exploring ourselves by exposing ourselves to the many experiences in life. For some of those things we'll instantly connect to it (because of a dopamine hit) or identify some part of the activity which will lead us to refining the experience to get the better result.
My thought is if we replace the small dopamine hits we get from these genuine experiences or interests with easy chemical dopamine sources (drugs or alcohol) in excess, we would become bored with life. If we can get a 10x hit from simply drinking something rather than the 1x from a small personal improvement in a skill we have an interest in, that drink will nearly always win out.
This isn't supposed to be preachy though. Each of us gets to decide for ourselves. This is just how I figured out how I work.
Boredom, deadline induced adrenaline, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol. If I'm lucky, the project will fall under my current hyperfixation, and that will make it easier.
I'll be damned if I'm going to prove all the abusive adults from my childhood right. most of them are dead by now, but fuck them. I won't win unless they're all dead.
Y'know, I'm sure the intent of the comment is in the vein of, "I persist because fuck them", but there's a reading of this that implies you've a list, and you're checking it twice...
I think you're missing one. Curiosity, if you're romantic. Or dopamine if you're cynical.
We've found that intelligent animals will investigate simple puzzles in a laboratory setting, even when the potential for reward has been removed.
We've also found that if you give people a little puzzle to solve, in the absence of reward, people will attempt to solve it regardless. As soon as you offer to pay them, however, the desire to solve the little puzzle is gone entirely as soon as the money is gone. This was shown in a study where participants were offered a dollar per shape they recreated with blocks. Participants who were offered nothing continued to work even when they were left alone and weren't expected to.
I'm going to add habits. Some things that seem impressive just boil down to, in the moment, doing the obvious thing you always do, times many years worth of moments.
Depends on the thing and the mood I'm in. Sometimes I just have to be pragmatic - my life will be better in the long run if I do this because I'll keep my job, my house will be clean, etc. Sometimes the thing I'm doing is just really fun. Sometimes it's fun to just check boxes, like your completing tasks in a videogame. And finally, once you've established a habit like exercise or stretching or learning a language, it just feels wrong to not do it every day.
Big problem today because screens have ensured you are never bored, and so innovation and creativity suffer, and depression skyrockets.
Try this: throw your phone in a drawer for the weekend. I guarantee after Sunday you'll have done a whole bunch of fun and different things you never would have if you were glued to your phone. Bonus points if you disconnect your router too.
54 Comments
Resplendent606@piefed.social · 22 pts · 258d
My drive typically comes from the satisfaction of making my family/friends happy.
slazer2au@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 258d
But what about making you happy?
Resplendent606@piefed.social · 15 pts · 258d
Meh, not much about making me happy motivates me. It makes me happy to make others happy.
slazer2au@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 258d
As long as you don't forget yourself mate..
AfterNova@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d
That's good.
xpey@piefed.social · 13 pts · 258d
As someone who was suicidal as a child and never thought to make it past 18:
I guess I just like living. I like putting the effort and seeing the results, even if it's a lot of effort for just a small payoff. I also like knowing that I matter, and that people around me are happy with my pressence.
I also really like the thought of making a change. Be vocal about my life experiences and maybe changing someone's mind. Swimming backstroke to be true to myself, and making a stance. The normal way is not the only way, you know?
I also adore art. I like connecting to a piece of art, seeing human emotions molded into such a fasinating sound, ambience, coreography, phrase, whatever. Knowing that someone felt something so strong and constant, that they had to rush to create something, and express it, share it with everyone with a tint of creativity, just as I do.
To answer your question, I'm gonna go with: Find something you like, and just keep doing it. I love creative works and human expression, but maybe you like something else. Biology, technology, cooking? Connect with it and start small. A small flower in a pot is enough.
The only way I can now describe how young me felt, is blind. I spiraled into a really awfully negative nihilism after an ugly life event that made me stop believing in God (to this day I consider myself an atheist, and I don't think that's ever gonna change. And I don't want it to change). I thought that life did not have a purpose, that all the suffering and the pain and the bad thoughts were all for nothing, since there was no meaning to it all. My only refuge to the pain was daydreaming about a world in which I was never born, in which I didn't hurt my friends. Everything else, didn't matter. The things that made me happy weren't working.
The years went by, the feeling stayed there. "Why do this, if I'm gonna end up dying anyways?".
But eventually, my vision started changing. Maybe it was just growing up, maybe it was meeting new people that challenged my perspective of the world, maybe it was finding my currently favorite music artist and seeing his journey. My memory is a bit foggy due to all the trauma, sorry. But my vision started going upside down. Suddenly it clicked for me: Life has no meaning, but that's not actually bad. It's freeing, actually. Existence being inherently meaningless meant that I had no greater expectations. If there truly was no meaning, what's stopping me from doing what makes me happy, and just keep doing it? Besides life obligations, I could do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. That's prime environment for experimenting, for discovering myself, and finding my own, small, not cosmic-level meaning that made me wake up every morning: Happiness. I was gonna fight with life so I could get the happiness I deserved, and that's what I'm doing to this day.
I know this answer won't magically cure the depression of everyone reading this. Some people just have fucked up dopamine receptors, some people do cling to religion, some people don't have the amount of freedom in their lives to do what they truly like. But I'm throwing my story here for the chance that it lifts at least one person up, even if that motivations lasts for just the rest of the day.
I also know the future is looking real bad. The things I thought I could be doing 3-4 years ago are off the table. And people seem more hateful with each day passing. That has taken a toll on me. Sometimes I just want to quit. But I'll keep fighting, for the people who cannot.
andyburke@fedia.io · 6 pts · 258d
I needed this today, so thanks!
Maybe I can give you something back as I also look in horror at our world "leaders":
We have been making life better for average people for more than 10,000 years. This, too, shall pass. And those of us who keep trying to make things better for humanity have a long winning record if you look at a big enough picture. Hang in there.
xpey@piefed.social · 3 pts · 258d
I really hope that's the case. I still am quite pessimistic in nature, but I want to have hope.
spykee@lemmings.world · 5 pts · 258d
This mf once walked away so far away from life he ended up getting a bird's eye view of what life really is.
Now dude's giving everyone the Buddha 26.2 public beta patch update.
xpey@piefed.social · 4 pts · 258d
haha, it's not for everyone, but it's something.
spykee@lemmings.world · 4 pts · 258d
That's exactly what Buddha said.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 258d
That's similar to the conclusions I came to while on psychedelics in my 20s
xpey@piefed.social · 2 pts · 258d
Do you still live by that? How's it going?
Also no substances required for my journey, lol
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 258d
Depends on the thing. Biological imperatives are kinda baked in genetically, for example. And how much "will to power" you have (in a Nietzschean kinda way) about different topics will determine how many fucks to give about any particular thing. There is probably some brain science that can point to particular regions as drivers of this process, which then becomes a mix of genetic predisposition, and also environment/experiences that shape brain development.
But take all of this with a giant grain of salt. These kinds of questions will have shades of an answer from different perspectives: philosophical, scientific, religious, etc. None of them are 100% correct because we still don't even understand consciousness
AfterNova@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d
What percentage of that drive is learned from the enviroment?
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d
Great question!
I have no clue. 🤷
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 258d
brain chemicals
unable to execute suicide.exe, please contact your administrator survival instincts
leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 258d
Laziness.
I do stuff now to avoid doing more stuff later.
AfterNova@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 258d
Good point.
lemmie689@lemmy.sdf.org · 8 pts · 258d
Gimmie that dopamine.
AfterNova@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 258d
What motivates someone to regularly work 80+ hour weeks or to create art or to care about other people?
lemmie689@lemmy.sdf.org · 8 pts · 258d
That's how they get their dopamine. I asked my doctor one time if it was true dopamine makes us do the things we do, he said yeah pretty much. You and your brain are two different people. Your brain wants dopamine, you do things that provide it.
criticon@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 258d
My father is a workaholic, even after retiring he found a couple of jigs to keep him busy almost full time. I tried to get him into videogames after retiring (he used to play a lot of SNES and Sega Genesis back n the day) and he didn't find any joy in it
I hate working, I do it as a means to get money for traveling and for my hobbies and I spend a lot of time playing videogames
So I guess my father gets his dopamine directly from working and I work to get money to fund stuff that give me dopamine
rcbrk@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 258d
Boredom.
But, really feeling it, not filling the gaps with the easy dopamine hits of information consumption.
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 258d
Dopamine.
Now, what your particular wiring that triggers dopamine hits that are unique to any of us, we only find out by exploring ourselves by exposing ourselves to the many experiences in life. For some of those things we'll instantly connect to it (because of a dopamine hit) or identify some part of the activity which will lead us to refining the experience to get the better result.
My thought is if we replace the small dopamine hits we get from these genuine experiences or interests with easy chemical dopamine sources (drugs or alcohol) in excess, we would become bored with life. If we can get a 10x hit from simply drinking something rather than the 1x from a small personal improvement in a skill we have an interest in, that drink will nearly always win out.
This isn't supposed to be preachy though. Each of us gets to decide for ourselves. This is just how I figured out how I work.
tfowinder@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 257d
Lemmy is feeling really existential today
glitchdx@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 258d
Boredom, deadline induced adrenaline, and an unhealthy amount of alcohol. If I'm lucky, the project will fall under my current hyperfixation, and that will make it easier.
I don't recommend my strat.
Witchfire@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 258d
Spite is my biggest driver. If I have a reason to do something out of spite I will not back down
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 4 pts · 258d
Dissatisfaction. At least in coding and nerd projects around my parts.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 257d
Because doing nothing is boring.
Nemo@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 258d
thirst for novelty
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 3 pts · 258d
IDK. I have an executive function problem so motivation and desire still aren't enough to get me to do anything.
AfterNova@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
Did you go see a professional about that?
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 258d
Yeah, but it's a PITA. 6-8 months between appointments and half the time, the doctor has to reschedule when I show up.
prex@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 258d
Peter Zapffe would say the drive is a remedy against panic.
Warning: depictions of suicide in the original text/translation
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 257d
for me, spite.
I'll be damned if I'm going to prove all the abusive adults from my childhood right. most of them are dead by now, but fuck them. I won't win unless they're all dead.
redhorsejacket@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 257d
Y'know, I'm sure the intent of the comment is in the vein of, "I persist because fuck them", but there's a reading of this that implies you've a list, and you're checking it twice...
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 257d
you're god damned right I have a list.
scytale@piefed.zip · 3 pts · 258d
Hunger and money mostly, with the latter as a way to have experiences.
SippyCup@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 258d
I think you're missing one. Curiosity, if you're romantic. Or dopamine if you're cynical.
We've found that intelligent animals will investigate simple puzzles in a laboratory setting, even when the potential for reward has been removed.
We've also found that if you give people a little puzzle to solve, in the absence of reward, people will attempt to solve it regardless. As soon as you offer to pay them, however, the desire to solve the little puzzle is gone entirely as soon as the money is gone. This was shown in a study where participants were offered a dollar per shape they recreated with blocks. Participants who were offered nothing continued to work even when they were left alone and weren't expected to.
village604@adultswim.fan · 1 pts · 258d
That doesn't explain hobbies.
scytale@piefed.zip · 3 pts · 258d
I lump in hobbies with experiences. The reason for getting money is so I can pursue hobbies and experiences.
AfterNova@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 258d
This makes a lot of sense.
DrCat@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 258d
The fact that I can do something. I have the ability to try. Not that I will always succeed but the simple fact that I am allowed to make an attempt.
CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 258d
I'm going to add habits. Some things that seem impressive just boil down to, in the moment, doing the obvious thing you always do, times many years worth of moments.
Modest_Toxic@feddit.uk · 2 pts · 258d
If you do find out please let me know
oldest_meme_420@hilariouschaos.com · 2 pts · 258d
Vyvanse
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 258d
I wouldn't know
Dialectical_Specialist@quokk.au · 2 pts · 258d
lack
LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 257d
Depends on the thing and the mood I'm in. Sometimes I just have to be pragmatic - my life will be better in the long run if I do this because I'll keep my job, my house will be clean, etc. Sometimes the thing I'm doing is just really fun. Sometimes it's fun to just check boxes, like your completing tasks in a videogame. And finally, once you've established a habit like exercise or stretching or learning a language, it just feels wrong to not do it every day.
chocrates@piefed.world · 1 pts · 258d
You might have ADHD.
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 258d
Boredom.
Big problem today because screens have ensured you are never bored, and so innovation and creativity suffer, and depression skyrockets.
Try this: throw your phone in a drawer for the weekend. I guarantee after Sunday you'll have done a whole bunch of fun and different things you never would have if you were glued to your phone. Bonus points if you disconnect your router too.
InvalidName2@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 258d
From beyond the grave. Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
GrammarPolice@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 257d
Hunger and sex