When you realize it's time to trade in your old sedan for an SUV

402 points · 28 comments · view on lemmy.world

28 Comments

Veedem@lemmy.world · 83 pts · 264d (2 replies)

At first, I was like “what’s so funny about “like, comment, share” but then I saw the circles and realized what I was missing. Thanks, op.

Texas_Hangover@lemmy.radio · 14 pts · 264d (1 reply)

Yeah, that circle made the meme for sure. Can you imagine trying to figure that cryptic shit out on your own? shudder

CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 264d

I had a team of analysts in one of my black sites that specialize in breaking Russian encryption and we STILL couldn’t figure it out

SiegeRhino@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 264d

thanks for circling i almost missed the good part

CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de · 26 pts · 264d (11 replies)

Check your privilege, says the person with a back yard!

Also - don’t they sell saws in your country? You can make a corpse into backpack sized pieces. with a bit of effort.

I’m on a list now, I bet.

lost_faith@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 264d (1 reply)

Krieger from Archer did exactly that. If everyone drops their piece in the correct spot, on the map it will make a smiley face

Psionicsickness@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 264d

God I love Krieger

“I mean, why convince a man to change, when I think cut out the chunk of brain causing the problem and replace it with nanobots that I control?”

Archer: “Can you cut out the part of five brains that are clearly jealous of my skills?”

“Happy to try.”

Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 264d (8 replies)

Every diy person should have a sawzall or know someone who does. (protip: skill saws are messy and you probably have enough to clean as is.)

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 264d (5 replies)

Circular saw would be faster. The blades themselves are easy to clean...it's metal, after all. The problem with the circular saw is more places for giblets to get stuck.

Duamerthrax@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 264d (1 reply)
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JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 264d

This looks like a corded model though.

With a corded portable bandsaw, you've got to be very careful not to mistakenly cut through the cord. That makes a lot of sparks, and then you have to repair the cord.

You get a lot more power out of corded models but I'd be surprised if there aren't some quality cordless tools out there.

You'd want to make sure that you've got enough battery for the job, but you could do it anywhere, even in the middle of the woods.

Of course, the main reason to maime/dismember the corpse is for ease of transport. It'd be pretty silly to drag the whole body to the woods and then cut it to pieces.

Still, you never know where you're going to wake up standing over a dead body, so you gotta be prepared.

CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 264d (2 replies)

What if I only have a dremel?

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 264d (1 reply)

Tough titty.

CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 263d

Like how tough? Cause these dremel cutting disks are really flimsy

HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 264d (1 reply)

Recip saws have a similar mess factor to skill saws or circular saws. Hand saw like for deer or butchering knives reduce splatter. Though you have to pay attention to your edges.

Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 264d

I find Sawzalls are better than a circular saw because they have variable speed and don't tend to yeet things near as much. I tried a skillsaw once and it wasn't pretty and didn't have that great of a smell. (Given, it wasn't exactly the sharpest blade)

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 6 pts · 264d (1 reply)

My sedan has plenty trunk space and gets 40mpg

Trainguyrom@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 263d

Yeah that's the sad thing is my sonata had more trunk space than most 2 row SUVs, but people swear there's more hauling space in an SUV for some reason

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 264d (2 replies)

This, I think, is really the problem with EVs. Your sacrificing a lot of trunk space for those batteries. Sure, you get a frunk, but they are usually awkwardly shaped and you have to dismember the body first to get it to fit.

But, like, an EV Mustang's frunk is designed to be used as a cooler...it's plastic lined and has a drain for easy cleaning. So it may be worth it, since getting blood out of upholstery good enough to fool forensics is very difficult. This way you can just bring it to a self-serve car wash, pay in cash, and hose it down.

rikonium@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 264d

When designed with larger batteries in mind, main cargo space intrusion is minimal if at all. We're mostly removed from the days of big batteries eating up half your Fusion or Sonata PHEV's trunk. (but not quite)

However, even though you're missing some ICE components like an exhaust underneath, you'll usually lose the space for a spare tire. Even though many new ICE vehicles today come without spares, there's usually a place that one can be securely fitted. Not so in most PHEV and electric options unfortunately.

So if you're hauling a body, probably good to toss in a spare on top.

BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 264d

I feel like the play with EVs is an SUV/Truck. They've got a new electric truck ostensibly coming out next year that's pretty cheap, should have plenty of space.

FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 263d

Good thing there are circles to tell us where to read

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 264d (3 replies)

Hm gas money.

I have to wonder how serial killers manage. Usually they have like middle class or lower middle class jobs. Where do they find the time to kill, hide and bury victims? Stay ahead of the police? Sleep? Pay rent or mortgage? Shop for groceries, or rope or whatever? Probably cleaning supplies?

Seems like a lot of effort. I work from home and I can barely do my laundry and take care of a cat.

How exhausting it all must be.

village604@adultswim.fan · 5 pts · 264d

I'd assume it's kinda like any other hobby.

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 264d

the gas money is in the victim's wallet. if they are broke then you shouldn't have killed them. come on due diligence.

flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 264d

Why do you think there have been so few serial killers recently? Gas is expensive!

theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 264d

Yep I was caught transporting a body to the disposal site on a bus .

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 264d

Well I was gonna say because less and less Americans have their own pig farms, but sure, ok, that works too I guess.

bountygiver@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 263d

Because nosy people could rummage your trunk, but digging up your backyard is too much effort for them.