While I support people to find what ever relationship makes them happy, choosing a relationship type based on "that other group must suck" sounds like a horrible way to be.
You want to be in a poly bi relationship great, go do you. But being like "I choose this because the others must be worst." seems toxic and hurtful.
Kinda...im suggesting people should love the person they love because they love them, not that they hate other people.
Also ironically there is nothing in screenshot to say "straight" maybe it's two gay guys and one of their nicknames is princess or two women... No way to know based on the screenshot
I was just being sarcastic. All of the "are the straights okay" memes are just examples of various problematic behaviors and traits that exist across the spectrums of sexuality and gender but for some reason LGBTQ folks love to act like they're exclusively cishet problems.
Some of the most jealous people I've ever dated have been poly, the difference is they feel like they shouldn't be so they're in denial about it.call it other things.
At least mono people will just say "I'm jealous". Listening to another jealousy-adjacent complaint about some shit for the fifth time in a week is exhausting.
This isn't the case with all poly people obviously but every orientation has problems.
so my doubles tennis partner and i, back then two straight teenage boys, were terrible at tennis. we decided our strategy then was to get into the other team's heads. we called each other muffin and princess (i forget who was who. i think I was muffin? it's been so long i'll have to ask princess. or muffin. fuck.) and we'd make sound effects every time anyone hit the ball. honestly we had so much fun fucking around when we finally won a game (it took us a few years) we were shocked.
No, it's almost definitely "she's pretty and I'm jealous" in THIS case. Or maybe "There's history and I'm jealous".
My reasoning for saying that: The partner follows up with "No one compares to my wife", as if she was insinuating that maybe he's into the other woman.
I cannot think of a single context where it is fine to tell your partner what or who they can or cannot look at. It is possessive, controlling, immature. What reason other than mistrust can you think of?
It definitely can be all those things, and often is. But it's almost impossible to discern the overall tone of the initial text without knowing the person and their relationship. I do think it's entirely within the realm of possibility that this could be a benign request between two healthy adults that would have been respected regardless of whether the individual agreed to unfollow or not.
Borderline Personality Disorder. A mental health condition that makes it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. It can also mean Bipolar Disorder but that’s less common these days.
28 Comments
rbos@lemmy.ca · 64 pts · 217d
BPD and poly sounds like a nightmare.
morphballganon@mtgzone.com · 25 pts · 216d
I suspect there's a lot of BPD in straight people that goes undiagnosed, and is just written off as "that's just how they are" or similar
Edit: Oh whoops. I meant monogamous people but typed straight.
rbos@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 216d
No doubt. Having seen BPD at work, though... it's hard to imagine a more intense assortment of trigger conditions.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 216d
It's fucking horrific to witness.
TerrabyteMarx@quokk.au · 1 pts · 216d
TerrabyteMarx@quokk.au · 1 pts · 216d
not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 217d
almost as bad as being straight :p
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 216d
There are heterosexual poly people.
vrek@programming.dev · 56 pts · 217d
While I support people to find what ever relationship makes them happy, choosing a relationship type based on "that other group must suck" sounds like a horrible way to be.
You want to be in a poly bi relationship great, go do you. But being like "I choose this because the others must be worst." seems toxic and hurtful.
GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 25 pts · 216d
Are you suggesting that jealousy and insecurity aren't unique to straight people? /s
vrek@programming.dev · 14 pts · 216d
Kinda...im suggesting people should love the person they love because they love them, not that they hate other people.
Also ironically there is nothing in screenshot to say "straight" maybe it's two gay guys and one of their nicknames is princess or two women... No way to know based on the screenshot
GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 216d
I was just being sarcastic. All of the "are the straights okay" memes are just examples of various problematic behaviors and traits that exist across the spectrums of sexuality and gender but for some reason LGBTQ folks love to act like they're exclusively cishet problems.
vrek@programming.dev · 6 pts · 216d
True and I got that. Everyone can be a good person or an evil person, regardless of what's in your pants or who's in your pants
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 216d
Some of the most jealous people I've ever dated have been poly, the difference is they feel like they shouldn't be so they're in denial about it.call it other things.
At least mono people will just say "I'm jealous". Listening to another jealousy-adjacent complaint about some shit for the fifth time in a week is exhausting.
This isn't the case with all poly people obviously but every orientation has problems.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
so my doubles tennis partner and i, back then two straight teenage boys, were terrible at tennis. we decided our strategy then was to get into the other team's heads. we called each other muffin and princess (i forget who was who. i think I was muffin? it's been so long i'll have to ask princess. or muffin. fuck.) and we'd make sound effects every time anyone hit the ball. honestly we had so much fun fucking around when we finally won a game (it took us a few years) we were shocked.
darkevilmac@lemmy.zip · 44 pts · 216d
Me when I associate all straight relationship dynamics with a bait post of a toxic relationship I saw on twitter
infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net · 23 pts · 216d
This is far more a monogamy problem than a straight people problem. Poly straight people exist (Hi)
degenerate_neutron_matter@fedia.io · 18 pts · 217d
Staden_@pawb.social · 25 pts · 216d
lack of trust, possessiveness
yum@lemmy.eco.br · 7 pts · 216d
Is asking to unfollow someone lack of trust, by default? I feel like it should be fine in some contexts
Staden_@pawb.social · 12 pts · 216d
I'm assuming it's lack of trust because I don't know the context. Of course there could be other explanations.
Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 216d
Bingo. Context could be anything from "she's pretty and im jealous" to "hardcore right wing pipeline" content.
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 216d
No, it's almost definitely "she's pretty and I'm jealous" in THIS case. Or maybe "There's history and I'm jealous".
My reasoning for saying that: The partner follows up with "No one compares to my wife", as if she was insinuating that maybe he's into the other woman.
Angelevo@feddit.nl · 7 pts · 216d
I cannot think of a single context where it is fine to tell your partner what or who they can or cannot look at. It is possessive, controlling, immature. What reason other than mistrust can you think of?
CallMeButtLove@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 216d
It definitely can be all those things, and often is. But it's almost impossible to discern the overall tone of the initial text without knowing the person and their relationship. I do think it's entirely within the realm of possibility that this could be a benign request between two healthy adults that would have been respected regardless of whether the individual agreed to unfollow or not.
Angelevo@feddit.nl · 6 pts · 216d
Mhm, the submissive followup says a lot. Otherwise I agree. We are speculating. :)
DaGeek247@fedia.io · 1 pts · 216d
They also shared this specific snippet of text online at some point. That's another hint towards it not being entirely okay with at least one of them.
hkspowers@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 216d
Maybe I've been living in a cave or just too old but can someone tell me what BPD is?
nightlily@leminal.space · 17 pts · 216d
Borderline Personality Disorder. A mental health condition that makes it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. It can also mean Bipolar Disorder but that’s less common these days.
RebekahWSD@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 216d
I only ever knew it as bipolar disorder and is always the first my brain goes to. I keep trying to remember it's borderline instead!
hkspowers@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 216d
Thanks for the clarification, I appreciate the reply.