No they're a Chinese plot to have every child become sleeper agents who will then unlock your front door so a Chinese soldier can come in and poop in your toilet, move your salt and pepper shaker and mess with your pillow configuration on your bed.
Yes, militaries do tend to attract nationalistic psychos. The US Marines have done the same thing to many civilians. The have whole in-group rituals about it.
Where's the pill bottle cap and a BIC lighter? Those are skills kids born today will need when they grow up. Maybe like a bubble wrap sheet but with beer can ring pulls instead?
He banned broccoli from Air Force One, which prompted California broccoli growers to send several truckloads of the vegetable to the White House, most of which was donated to a food bank.
I went to Montessori and it was awesome. I got tons of memories from there even though I wasn't more than 4-6 years old, which is really saying something.
60 Comments
snooggums@piefed.world · 108 pts · 229d
There is also a fidget spinner designed to give the baby ADHD!
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 229d
You can’t give people ADHD, it’s not something you cook up.
ThouHastNoPizza@sh.itjust.works · 76 pts · 229d
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 30 pts · 229d
Evidently. 😂
lena@gregtech.eu · 12 pts · 229d
I see the joke comprehension dependency wasn't injected :P
pseudo@jlai.lu · 4 pts · 229d
!reactionmemes@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Agent641@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 229d
I caught ADHD from my friend in highschool when we were making out in the storeroom before art class.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@piefed.world · 4 pts · 229d
No, that was cuties.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 228d
Is it not cooties? Cuties is a group of cute things.
village604@adultswim.fan · 1 pts · 228d
Also a brand of citrus fruit
Noodle07@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 228d
I sure caught cooties from a few cuties in highschool
justaman123@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 229d
Through trauma, all things are possible
ohulancutash@feddit.uk · 3 pts · 229d
I think they confused ADHD with autism.
JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 229d
What?
thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 229d
tHe TyLeNoL iS gIvInG yOuR cHiLdReN aUtIsM!!!1!!1!!!11
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 229d
give me two months and an electroshock collar and i definitely could give you adhd
Ach@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 228d
Then what are these sores on my dick?
SinningStromgald@lemmy.world · 99 pts · 229d
No child of mine will have fine motor skills or hand and eye coordination!
dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 71 pts · 229d
I've heard of those referred to as "busy boards"
VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 101 pts · 229d
No they're a Chinese plot to have every child become sleeper agents who will then unlock your front door so a Chinese soldier can come in and poop in your toilet, move your salt and pepper shaker and mess with your pillow configuration on your bed.
degen@midwest.social · 13 pts · 229d
My honest, hard-working American feng shui!
toynbee@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 229d
Those are all things my kid does without the help of a third party.
halfdane@piefed.social · 2 pts · 228d
Or so you think - dun dun duuuuun
optissima@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 228d
You missed the CCP new 5 year plan, they're swapping the salt and sugar containers as well now
toynbee@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d
When I was a kid, my cousin confused the salt and sugar containers and dumped a huge quantity of sugar on her pasta.
It was quite the to-do at that dinner.
JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 227d
And mixing Skittles into the m&m's
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · -2 pts · 229d
Honestly, if Chinese operatives had the power to enter random US homes and kill people they would.
AppleTea@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 228d
Yes, militaries do tend to attract nationalistic psychos. The US Marines have done the same thing to many civilians. The have whole in-group rituals about it.
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 0 pts · 228d
Bu Bu Bu BUT HER EMAILS~!?!?!
tomiant@piefed.social · 41 pts · 229d
Where's the pill bottle cap and a BIC lighter? Those are skills kids born today will need when they grow up. Maybe like a bubble wrap sheet but with beer can ring pulls instead?
AtariDump@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 229d
Best I can do
Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 229d
I want to know the origin... Did someone get sick of others stealing their lighter lol?
Mad_Punda@feddit.org · 20 pts · 229d
Seems likely to me that someone came up with that pun and also had too much time and some concrete.
Rooster326@programming.dev · 1 pts · 228d
So you're saying it could be anyone from DIWHY?
AtariDump@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 229d
No idea
thefluffiest@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 229d
They need those skills in the US. Obviously not in China
texture@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 228d
have these at retirement homes. they're great for people with severe dementia
Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 228d
Person woman man camera TV.
DemBoSain@midwest.social · 3 pts · 228d
Remember when the broccoli farmers dumped a ton of broccoli in front of the White House?
texture@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 228d
no
pishadoot@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 228d
How u 4get
texture@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 228d
i dont believe id forget about such an event. perhaps i never knew
MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 228d
I needed to know as well. I found this:
George H. W. Bush broccoli comments - Wikipedia
https://share.google/bjHl21VmFgvPi3dAx
He banned broccoli from Air Force One, which prompted California broccoli growers to send several truckloads of the vegetable to the White House, most of which was donated to a food bank.
texture@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 228d
i wasnt sure i believed them, so i didnt bother to look.
appreciate you and the farmers
WanderingThoughts@europe.pub · 32 pts · 229d
Does it come with a Covert Companion?
prex@aussie.zone · 12 pts · 229d
"Click out of one..."
floral_toxicity@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 227d
Baby's first Master Lock.
Gotta teach them young that Master Lock is shit.
tomiant@piefed.social · 22 pts · 229d
I hope they make a LOT of noise too, otherwise I'm not getting one.
The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world · 26 pts · 229d
The noise-making toys have a tendency to go "missing" in our house.
vrek@programming.dev · 9 pts · 229d
If you hate your friends partner, buy their kid a drum set 😉
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 228d
It’s actually pretty cool though
Noodle07@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 228d
Montessori boards are pretty great for toddlers yeah
oce@jlai.lu · 13 pts · 229d
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_education
tomiant@piefed.social · 12 pts · 229d
I went to Montessori and it was awesome. I got tons of memories from there even though I wasn't more than 4-6 years old, which is really saying something.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@piefed.world · 4 pts · 229d
Is that when they lure kids into the basement by promising them wine and then build a brick wall around them?
wolframhydroxide@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 228d
No, you're thinking of "the cask of amontillado". Montessori was an old monastery south of Rome, which was destroyed by ravaging children in WWII.
bricklove@midwest.social · 10 pts · 228d
Needs more gun
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 228d
Murica TM
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 229d
Give one to a husky owner and tell them it's a dog toy 😏
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 2 pts · 229d
Would absolutely not surprise me if this were true.