Galaxy-class is probably like that fancy BMWs with personalized automatic seat- and driving-wheel-adjustments and driver-specific preferred settings for Ul and entertainment-center...
Data's in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it's those damned organics and their mating rituals again.
If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.
After the third or fourth unfortunate "accidental discharge" incident it was deemed wise to implement a comprehensive butt rejection protocol on all control panels.
The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.
Why do they even need Data? It seems like in episodes where they really make use of the ships computer (like the one where Dr Crusher is stuck in a collapsing universe) the computer is just as effective. Also when they are doing NCIS style enhance on an image or something.
They cannot beam the computer down to planets, and also Data has a lot of character driven stories that wouldn't work with the ship. The ship definitely doesn't care to be more human like or to create art.
Why do they need any crew member? Just send the ship off by itself!
Except that the entire point is for the crew to go out and look around themselves. They're not just serving a function, they're explorers. And so is Data.
Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of Starship Operations. The weapon systems aren't energized and the console isn't in Tactical configuration unless specifically ordered so or the ship is brought to Red Alert. Given the casual nature of the communication happening that is clearly not true.
All Starfleet panels are butt-proof and shart rated. This is notably different from Klingon panels, which are only rated for protection against blood, blood wine, and puke containing blood wine.
Romulan panels are rated against subterfuge but the protection has been secretly disabled.
60 Comments
TallonMetroid@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 226d
Nah, see, Federation has advanced haptic systems that can tell it's a butt and therefore not valid input.
realitista@lemmus.org · 28 pts · 226d
What about the guest aliens with hand-butt?
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 14 pts · 226d
Galaxy-class is probably like that fancy BMWs with personalized automatic seat- and driving-wheel-adjustments and driver-specific preferred settings for Ul and entertainment-center...
TallonMetroid@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 225d
Well, that's just another opportunity for the crew to have some personal growth in resolving the misunderstanding.
Freefall@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 225d
Or fingerprint reading for every button press.
Aerosol3215@piefed.ca · 1 pts · 225d
ADS... Ass detection system.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d
I don't think that's what haptic means...
Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 19 pts · 226d
Data's in the background trying to figure out why they just destroyed the mining colony, and realising it's those damned organics and their mating rituals again.
Vathsade@lemmy.ca · 19 pts · 226d
Riker's butt already did it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMHAZwR-BdQ
realitista@lemmus.org · 6 pts · 226d
I knew it!
MurrayL@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 226d
If my 2023 tablet can tell the difference between my palm and my fingers, I’m willing to believe a critical control surface on a 2360s starship knows a butt when it sees one.
lobut@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 226d
You're saying they have cheek rejection in the future?
notabot@piefed.social · 5 pts · 226d
After the third or fourth unfortunate "accidental discharge" incident it was deemed wise to implement a comprehensive butt rejection protocol on all control panels.
bhamlin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 224d
Cheek and taint!
mech@feddit.org · 13 pts · 226d
She looks like she wouldn't mind him shooting his torpedo at her.
errer@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 226d
Lower the rear deflector shield 👁️👄👁️
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 226d
The ship knows exactly who is where and what their intent is. The buttons are only needed because a direct brain-computer link would drive the computer insane.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 226d
The ship knows where he is by knowing where he isn't.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 226d
Why do they even need Data? It seems like in episodes where they really make use of the ships computer (like the one where Dr Crusher is stuck in a collapsing universe) the computer is just as effective. Also when they are doing NCIS style enhance on an image or something.
MotoAsh@piefed.social · 7 pts · 226d
They cannot beam the computer down to planets, and also Data has a lot of character driven stories that wouldn't work with the ship. The ship definitely doesn't care to be more human like or to create art.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 225d
Why do they need any crew member? Just send the ship off by itself!
Except that the entire point is for the crew to go out and look around themselves. They're not just serving a function, they're explorers. And so is Data.
Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de · 8 pts · 226d
Integrated butt-recognition and -suppression.
lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com · 7 pts · 225d
Didn't Jonathan Frakes often lean due to back injuries?
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 225d
yea, thats why he has the meme of him straddling a chair, or leaning on parts of the bridge.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 226d
Hes probably raining down a barrage of Photon Torpedos onto whatever stupid planet they are orbiting. Who probably deserves it for whatever stupid reason the enterprise had to come visit them to help with in the first place. Like “oh our corrupt political system has us at war with eachother” or “our sun is about to explode.” Cry about it some more.
manxu@piefed.social · 6 pts · 226d
Ass-controlled space lasers? Are you trying to summon MTG?
realitista@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 226d
If I can get her within range of the lasers then sure. Will be very fitting- hoisted by her own petard.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 225d
Ok, let's assume they are capacitive touch. I think they may have made safe for sitting pants by then.
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 225d
They could have had an episode where Data feels left out because he can’t do any of the consoles.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't data have non silicone skin?
gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 225d
Bioplast which is probably biological plastic?
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d
I'm going to be honest. I tried hitting that link on my phone, and it brought up a site that was less than friendly to my VPN/ad blockers.
gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 225d
yeah fandom sucks, but it is the best star trek wiki, content wise
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 225d
Oh you were talking about the site. My bad homie.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 225d
This ain't about fandoms my man's.
gnuplusmatt@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 225d
my adblocker takes out the worst of it, so I dunno to what you're referring
::: spoiler spoiler
:::
realitista@lemmus.org · 2 pts · 225d
You know what they say happens when you assume things.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 225d
Class out, ass out!
phoenixz@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 224d
Digit@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 186d
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLGDKVJlqL0
resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 225d
lath@piefed.social · 3 pts · 226d
That's how he flirts with the ship computer.
SlothMama@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 225d
Lyta
j4yc33@piefed.social · 1 pts · 226d
This is a fundamental misunderstanding of Starship Operations. The weapon systems aren't energized and the console isn't in Tactical configuration unless specifically ordered so or the ship is brought to Red Alert. Given the casual nature of the communication happening that is clearly not true.
realitista@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 226d
Whew, that's a relief. Are there safeguards in place if he sharts?
Jesus_666@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 226d
All Starfleet panels are butt-proof and shart rated. This is notably different from Klingon panels, which are only rated for protection against blood, blood wine, and puke containing blood wine.
Romulan panels are rated against subterfuge but the protection has been secretly disabled.
ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 225d
That protection was secretly reenabled by a high-level Tal Shiar operation.
Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe · 2 pts · 226d
Get off the bridge, Wesley!
j4yc33@piefed.social · 1 pts · 226d
NoOoOoOoOoO. I must pout around instead!
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 224d
Firing lasers with his ass.
Zachariah@lemmy.world · -2 pts · 226d
It’s not real. It’s just a prop.
notabot@piefed.social · 26 pts · 226d
What are you on about? His ass is absolutely real.
Mantzy81@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 226d
notabot@piefed.social · 3 pts · 226d
Are you saying it's imaginary, rather than real? Maybe that's why he's sitting on a flat panel, to help square up his butt and make it real again.
_stranger_@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 225d
_stranger_@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 226d
realitista@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 226d
(｡╯︵╰｡)
NachBarcelona@piefed.social · 2 pts · 226d
Don't you prop Will's podex bro.
ilinamorato@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 225d
They asked a Watsonian question to which you gave a Doylist answer and you know it.