I'm an apex predator

654 points · 24 comments · view on lemmy.world

24 Comments

danekrae@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 228d

Montagge@lemmy.zip · 28 pts · 228d

Seagulls have no care for your foolish ideas of hierarchies

ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml · 20 pts · 228d (1 reply)

I AM A STURGEON

Glytch@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 228d (6 replies)

Scream it at the seagull instead, act like a damn apex predator. Seagulls don't speak human, you need to speak seagull.

tomiant@piefed.social · 12 pts · 228d (5 replies)

Real apex predators pull out a glock.

Glytch@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 228d (2 replies)

If you grab a gull out of the air and scream in its face it'll leave you alone

papalonian@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 228d

Mac@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 228d

scream in its face

We have tools for that: the Glock lol

msage@programming.dev · 4 pts · 228d (1 reply)

so I pull out my gun!

ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 228d

A_norny_mousse@feddit.org · 13 pts · 228d

Swing big things, like a towel, and they're gone for a while.

That said, when you are between them and their young all bets are off. Huge birds they are.

qualia@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 228d

Most birds are running an evolved intimidation algorithm that has more to do with humans rarely ever standing their ground, much less retaliating. I'm more used to Canada geese charging and trying to bite with their tongue depressor-like beaks. But apparently gulls, despite being 4 times less massive than geese, do have the potential to poke eyes with their sturdy beak and scratch the face with their claws.

mika_mika@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 228d (2 replies)

Where is the news article about the man who threw a gull against a wall for stealing his chip?

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 228d

Gotta maintain position on the food chain. I'm with chip man

Hupf@feddit.org · 4 pts · 228d
JoMiran@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 228d

As a former Austin resident, I am wise enough to know that the price of a.peaceful lunch is to leave some leftovers for the grackle overlords. Fail to do this and they will shit on you, your car, AND your lunch...then steal it.

undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch · 8 pts · 228d

Going to the beach in California I cannot for the life of me figure out why people act like seagulls are so mysterious and difficult to figure out: just keep your shit secure and they won’t get into it?

jack_of_sandwich@lemmy.sdf.org · 7 pts · 228d

Seagull: My name's not Apex, can't eat me!

lividweasel@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 228d

You’ll feed the shit-hawks and you’ll like it.

tomiant@piefed.social · 3 pts · 228d

With other humans: apex predators.

Alone: dumb meat.

Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 227d

That's OP's fault for not bringing their beach gun.

Glytch@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 228d
[ removed ]
tomiant@piefed.social · 1 pts · 228d

Bird: "You are gullible."

Sorry not sorry.

CannonFodder@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 228d