Man allegedly tried to break Luigi Mangione out of jail by impersonating FBI agent: Sources

https://abcnews.go.com/US/man-allegedly-break-luigi-mangione-jail-impersonating-fbi/story?id=129679620

533 points · 64 comments · view on lemmy.world

64 Comments

slothrop@lemmy.ca · 135 pts · 213d (30 replies)

Anderson said he had weapons in his bag, and inside the bag was a barbecue fork and a pizza cutter, according to the criminal complaint.

Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 117 pts · 213d (23 replies)

NOT A PIZZA CUTTER

RedMari@reddthat.com · 85 pts · 213d

It's because Luigi is of Italian descent.

wuffah@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 213d (8 replies)

I’d much rather fight someone armed with a pizza cutter than nothing at all because, what kind of a stupid ass brings a pizza cutter to a fight? That’s a crappy fighter right there.

UnspecificGravity@piefed.social · 38 pts · 213d (1 reply)

Or he is so elite that he is using techniques that you cannot even comprehend.

Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works · 26 pts · 213d

Asafum@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 213d (2 replies)

You know what they say, don't bring Parmesan to a pizza cutter fight.

frongt@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 212d (1 reply)

You cut your parmesan with a pizza cutter?

anomnom@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 212d

Yeah I think a grater would be a better weapon

moncharleskey@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 213d (2 replies)

Depends on the pizza cutter I guess. The rolling ones, for sure, but the long heavy blade ones that you rock to cut the pizza? That could do some damage.

Pieisawesome@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 213d (1 reply)

You can sharpen the round ones.

I was bored so I sharpened one of mine a few years ago… honestly it was a very dangerous game changer

CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 212d

My wife did this without telling me and I sliced the shit out of my fingers while trying to clean it.

Zaktor@sopuli.xyz · 14 pts · 213d (1 reply)

That's gotta be part of a bit. That's about as useless a weapon or tool as you can get.

return2ozma@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 213d

Slice n dice!

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 213d

The only possible way this scenario could be improved is if the would-be jailbreaker was named Mario

TheCelticPirate@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 213d (6 replies)

you haven't seen what damage it can do!

WompWomp@lemmy.cafe · 5 pts · 213d (4 replies)

Maki Itoh? A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

TheCelticPirate@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 213d (3 replies)

Yeah! Look at the damage!

lka1988@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 213d (2 replies)

I am thoroughly confused by this sequence of events

TheCelticPirate@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 213d (1 reply)

Wrestling. LOL!

lka1988@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 213d

But....why pizza cutter....

Suavevillain@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 212d

The cutest in the world reference. Maki is great.

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 213d (1 reply)

If you get that pizza cutter rotating at about 1500 RPM it could be quite dangerous.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 213d

Then again, if you manage that, you're probably Donatello from TMNT 🤷

Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 213d

The fool. Everyone knows prison bars are made of overcooked lasagna.

kali_fornication@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 213d

Did he think he was busting him out of Flavortown Jail?

GuyFawkesV@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 213d (2 replies)

The barbecue fork is gonna up the severity on this one. Why couldn’t he have just taken a regular fork?

Rcklsabndn@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 213d

You need that extra reach.

whereIsTamara@lemmy.org · 1 pts · 213d

Don’t forget the pizza cutter. That’s basically a nuclear weapon.

bitjunkie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 212d

"Weapons"

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 213d

Anderson

Cooper? 🤞🤞 (would be such that great and unexpected twist 😁)

Zephorah@discuss.online · 61 pts · 213d (1 reply)

Luigi needs news time, but this is silly.

9488fcea02a9@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 213d

Wrong....

All publicity is good publicity.... especially for our boy Luigi

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 49 pts · 213d (4 replies)

HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 15 pts · 213d (3 replies)

Impersonating an asshole is a crime now?

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 213d (2 replies)

I don't know if that's an actual quote, but I read it in Dean's voice regardless.

lka1988@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 213d

Lmao same

Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 213d

Agent Beyonce tried to jailbreak Luigi.

lemmylump@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 213d

It's a me Mario I make a you a pizza.

taiyang@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 213d (6 replies)

Stories like this are so funny in juxtaposition to what I've been reading. I recently got into Arsène Lupin stories from the early 1900s (praise be royalty free) and it's full of fanciful jail breaks and such. Where's the impersonation of a real person? Where's the accomplices sending messages in code? False fingers full of money? No, we get Mr. Pizza cutter. Clearly not a gentleman burglar.

Also, L.M. is the initials of a big bad in one of the stories, lol.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 213d (5 replies)

ooo, have a good place to start? i enjoyed the netflix and have been thinking about binging the anime, but i might have the attention span for the book in a month or so

Nikelui@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 213d (4 replies)

https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/6133

The very first book, in all its public domain glory.

Do note that the anime is about Lupin III, which is canonically the grandson of Arsène Lupin.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 213d (3 replies)

ooo, thanks for doing all the heavy lifting for me!

taiyang@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 212d (2 replies)

Ah yes someone beat me to it! I second the recommendation. The first two books read very much like episodes of an anime. They were released as short stories in a magazine initially, so they're easy on the attention span.

The third book, The Hollow Needle, is more of a novel but maintains the same qualities. After that... bit of a mood shift but you'll just have to see. I understand that it goes back to fun episodes eventually but I'm still recovering from 813, lol.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 212d (1 reply)

wasn't a lot of the best writing back then released in periodicals?

taiyang@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 212d

Yup, or at least most popular writing. The funny part was Arsène was literally conceived as a way to build off the fame of Sherlock Holmes which recently had got translated into French and released in periodicals. Arsène, being French and anti-police, immediately became a star in France, lol.

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 27 pts · 213d

Absolute fuckin Chad move, honestly 🫡

PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org · 17 pts · 213d

The only good FBI agent rat-salute

_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 213d

Armed to the teeth, mama mia!

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 213d (3 replies)

I’m still waiting for the defence prosecution to fuck this up so that he gets to go home free, and maybe can sue them for slander after.

Warl0k3@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 213d (2 replies)

The prosecution?

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 213d (1 reply)

Oh god yes that’s what I mean

W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 213d

Hopefully they fuck up as badly as you just did 😁

yoyoyopo5@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 213d

What a shame, they could have done great things together.

Ulvain@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 213d (1 reply)

I'm not saying I condone anything here but.. seems that guy's biggest mistake was going at it alone - i feel like asking the right folks he could have showed up with a whole contingent of "FBI" agents, convincing badges, a cover story, a black van and properly forged transfer documents! 😂

hector@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 213d

Too high profile, they would never fall for it in msnhattan there. In pa in the first day maybe but super risky, and they would be recaught. Shit is locked down more than most realize.

AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 213d

Minnesota Man is the new, improved Florida Man.

Endymion_Mallorn@kbin.melroy.org · 9 pts · 213d

Give that man a medal!

CptOblivius@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 213d

Chaotic good vs lawful evil?

itistime@infosec.pub · 8 pts · 212d

A Minnesota man:

“Luigi, come with me, we need you!”

whereIsTamara@lemmy.org · 7 pts · 213d

Is there a place I can donate to his legal fund?

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 212d

I, too, am somewhat of FBI myself.

I'm Fabulous, Beautiful, Intelligent.

DylanMc6@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 212d

Is it illegal to say that that person should NOT do that alone?

kn33@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 213d

Mankato Man strikes again