Just a few

I'm not defending Christianity, but the actual defense of pork is that Jesus had made pork clean, in a vision to Peter where the analogy was that Jesus also made non Jewish people clean, since mixing with them was also forbidden. So less accident, more amendment.

They would also claim (from my experience in a cult anyway) that the old laws were necessary at the time they were given, but by the time Jesus came he could revise them as they were more ready.

If we look at it from a secular viewpoint, badly cooked pork probably caused a bunch of illness to was banned, and by the time Jesus supposedly existed people had learned to cook it more safely.

Would you mind telling me which verse tells us jesus kissed women in greeting?

Paul never even met Jesus. He had a vision that Jesus wanted him to be a disciple.

Try having a vision that you are a billionaire CEO of some big Wall Street company and see how far that will take you?

i used to use "i'm pagan" and watch the sparks fly but that's gonna get me killed one of these days

So Jesus was a bastard?

have other children...catholics maintain that Mary remained a virgin

Joe be like "You're pregnant AGAIN! And I suppose GOD is the father AGAIN, right?" {Walks away, muttering angrily "...while I'm getting NOTHING..."}

Just Biff

Sounds like He needs to get back to work.

luke 2 verse 5 in the king james version i grew up with:

To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child

luke 1 verses 26 and 27

And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,

To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.

now i always took that espoused in context to mean betrothed, not married. although i was never 100% up on marriage customs of the time. they had a formal relationship, were planning on being married, she claims she was a virgin and she was very pregnant. that's what i got.

Which is very unclear considering it is a translation. Besides is it ever mentioned they lived together. They travel together to pay taxes yes

In Gospel by Matthew, Joseph hears of this and wants to cancel the betrothement, but gets an explanation by an angel and "takes her in" but doesn't sleep with her until after Jesus is born.

That's the interesting one, where she turns up pregnant, and Joe is pissed because he hasn't slept with her, and he wants nothing to do with this slut, but some "angel" shows up, who looks like he could be one of her uncles or something, and explains how it's not her fault, and Joe is going to "do the right thing, capisce?" and Joe agrees, but he still thinks she's still a slut.

Good story, bro.

I hope y'all's god likes pörkölt because that's what she's getting

I didn't consent to this!

UwU Jesus Christ

Dysfunctional

The Gospel of Thomas has stories of Jesus being a little shithead as a kid, performing miracles just to freak everybody out. He even killed a kid once, but brought him back to life when the whole neighborhood got pissed and threatened to kick Joe's ass.

starts off with an old man putting on a robe and a wizard hat and squaring off against a shebear. "YOU WILL OBEY ME" and then there's no more old man. just robe and wizard hat

Not until we're married, anyway.