They’re disempowering themselves. Describe themselves as a victim of circumstance, powerless and without responsibility. It’s a disempowering narrative. You’re shooting yourself in the foot. In this story that we live, you are casting yourself as an npc.
On the flip side, saying “I can’t” adds authority to your argument. You’re citing an unstoppable force as the root cause of your actions. So it’s a tradeoff that way.
48 Comments
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca · 58 pts · 180d
I don’t like her music and it always annoys me.
I am now on several watch lists and my online orders are being heavily scrutinized.
DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 179d
Don't get it, why watchlist?
MaggiWuerze@feddit.org · 15 pts · 179d
Because "I won’t stand Taylor swift." means that you're going to do something about it
Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 180d
I appreciate the optimism, but if "Anything is possible" I doubt a majority of people chose to be poor.
linule@lemmy.world · -20 pts · 180d
At the end of the day any social situation is a collective choice.
presoak@lazysoci.al · 9 pts · 180d
Is the social situation controlling what you say?
Maeve@kbin.earth · 3 pts · 180d
I can't do that [because I respect myself too much]. Not everything needs to be said aloud.
linule@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 179d
Not sure what you mean. I’m just saying that everyone contributes to social situations (in varying degrees, of course). That is, to the group they’re part of. When you look at the language people use to describe the current political environment, for example, you notice that many feel that they live in a movie (“I hate this timeline”, “can we skip to the part where..”). That’s a pretty significant part of the cause, but it’s usually overlooked, because the responsibility is put only on the active participants.
orbitz@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 180d
Mean there are more poor people so...sort of?
Yes I know the social equallibriam of it all, but only the people can change it too. Never thought I'd see the US fall so quickly in my lifetime and hopefully people will realize that.
I'm also Canadian so can't do much else but post about it.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 180d
points gun at
robs
bang
'it was their fault for being alive and possessing money'
Maiq@piefed.social · 22 pts · 179d
I wont believe it's not butter...
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 179d
I refuse to believe it's not butter
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 178d
I defy those things that claim it's not butter.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 180d
I won't understand what you mean 😌
presoak@lazysoci.al · -13 pts · 180d
You and a lot of the people here. Ah the freedom of language. To avoid the point forever.
billbasher@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 180d
I can’t design a rocket ship implies I don’t know how. I won’t design a rocket ship implies I do know how but won’t because I’m too busy or am against the person likely morally. There’s a reason there are multiple words.
I do agree though if you say like ‘I can’t eat this sandwich’ if you’re like full or vegan those are 2 different things
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 6 pts · 179d
I can't eat this sandwich... They left the crust on and I hate the crust! 😩
presoak@lazysoci.al · -11 pts · 180d
Yes, there's a difference. Is this not an obvious concept?
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org · 10 pts · 179d
Yet it is an obvious concept. That's why people here are confused by the post
cheesorist@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 178d
I believe most of the comments are joking.
the point is very clear, its not that "cant" and "wont" fill the same purpose, that is clarified in the post.
the point is that people say they cant when they mean they wont, because if they can't, that implies its beyond them and thus they cannot be forced into doing it, such as not knowing how to build a rocket.
squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
In which case "I can't" is not giving up agency but instead taking agency in a way that's harder to dispute.
When one says "I can't" instead of "I won't", it's not a "I don't know how to" but a "I will not do that and I won't let you talk me into doing it".
cheesorist@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
That's exactly what the post says. A person may know but will say they can't, pretending they dont know how or some other bigger reason that can't be resolved just by bullying them into doing it.
squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
But the post also says
And that part was what I was responding to. Because nothing in there is correct.
cheesorist@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
its correct from my point of view.
AmidFuror@fedia.io · 13 pts · 180d
I can't believe this got posted.
presoak@lazysoci.al · -7 pts · 180d
Have you tried taking a shower?
Diddlydee@feddit.uk · 9 pts · 180d
I won't ejaculate.
kutt@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 180d
I won’t get a boner
mcqtom@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 180d
I won't go within 200 feet of a school.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 180d
removes feet
Judge: well technically
Abundance114@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 178d
Good job, now you're ready to post some unhinged shit on LinkedIn
Doomsider@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 176d
LinkdenIn warrior!
Goodman@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 179d
We wake up in our cells and dress in limitation
To deprive ourselves of action and causation
Can't or won't we see that we rob ourselves of agency?
Why waste our will with can't where we could won't?
So don't say that you can't.
But do say that you won't
And I will know that you will will
For where there's a will, there's a way
And who knows where you may stray
presoak@lazysoci.al · 0 pts · 179d
Oh nice one!
chosensilence@pawb.social · 4 pts · 180d
and how are you able to determine that is happening exactly?
presoak@lazysoci.al · -1 pts · 180d
Magic of course
laranis@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 178d
That's why "I can't even" was invented. That's "I can but don't care enough to give the energy to do it." Which still blames the circumstance but cites a personal choice that it demands too much of the individual.
presoak@lazysoci.al · 1 pts · 178d
That's a good idea there. It's a higher evolution of the language. Thanks.
Tangentially, most of the people here seem to take this post as a personal assault. And completely ignore the whole empowerment angle, which is the actual meat of it.
People hate meat. People love to be assaulted. There's irony there somewhere.
laranis@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 178d
That's why I love Lemmy. Here you have a higher chance of having nuanced and intelligent conversations with strangers than on any other social media. Written communication still has challenges with nuance and you'll always have reactionary trolls, but far better odds here.
That's why when I see posts like, "How do we get more users on the Fediverse? Grow or die!" I tend to chime in to keep their goddamn hands off the last place on the internet where these kinds of genuine interactions with strangers can happen.
HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 178d
Being able to tell people no (I won't) is a good skill to have in life.
Some people don't like to tell people no to avoid conflict, and they may end up in situations they didn't want to be in.
Pudutr0n@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 180d
tl;dr pls
Doomsider@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 176d
OP opinion not mine.
Can't = you are incapable
Won't = you don't want to, but can
Alpha71@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
My go to is "Yeah, I'm good. Thanks."
squaresinger@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 178d
"The little one has been awake all night, can you please take her so that I can get an hour of sleep?" - "I'm good. Thanks"
Alpha71@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
See, this would never have happened. (and hasn't for me) Because I would have used that sentence much, much earlier.
"Do you want to have a baby?"
"I'm good, thanks."
squaresinger@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
"I wasn't asking if you want to eat one."
Alpha71@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 178d
"Either way, I'm good, thanks."
pir8t0x@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 178d
So true, I have wondered this too