If you were able to magically learn any language that nobody speaks in your region, what would it be?

This would be great if you wanted to talk to yourself without anyone understanding what you're saying, for example, or if you didn't want anybody to know what you were writing down. It might also be useful if you enjoy lots of foreign language media (see music, tv shows, movies) and want to experience the "original" rather than through dubs and subs.

Personally, I would go for either Russian, German, or Estonian, all three of which are because I frequently listen to lots of music that are in those languages

76 points · 64 comments · view on lemmy.world

64 Comments

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 25 pts · 173d (2 replies)

JAPANESE

I wanna watch Anime without needing subtitles...

Also sometimes meaning get lose in translation...

I'd love to rewatch Steins;Gate with proficiency in Japanese.

Oh btw, I have never met a Japanese person (I mean maybe I could've had walked passed by an ethnic Japanese that have been too Americanized for me to know their ethnicity... cuz then they're just "Asian American" to me, and it'd be hard to tell) and never heard anyone IRL actually speaking Japanese fluently...

So yea knowledge of Japanese can impress a lot of Western weebs.

I could even pretend to be Japanese for the lulz... since I'm ethnic Chinese and I doubt most Americans would even be able to tell the difference xD (I mean I probably can't tell apart East Asian ethnicities either, despite me being East Asian myself)

xep@discuss.online · 3 pts · 172d

Good news, if you can read and write Chinese you're already partly there!

yermaw@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 171d

Its OK, I'm European and couldn't distinguish a Swede from a Fin.

rowinxavier@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 172d (1 reply)

Pictish.

It is a lost language from the British Isles and from one of the coolest populations in the area. They would paint patterns on their skin in blue then charge into battle naked. I reckon their insults and swearing would be absolutely raucous.

palordrolap@fedia.io · 5 pts · 172d

If you want some idea what it might have been like, it would probably be about as close to Welsh as Welsh is to Breton.

... which might not be all that helpful as a factoid, so here's Wikipedia's Swadesh list for the Celtic languages: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Celtic_Swadesh_lists

(In loosely related news, you know you might have been reading too much about linguistics when, while scanning the above, you recognise the Welsh word "benyw" as a cognate for the English word "queen", (but with a meaning closer to Norwegian "kvinne"). That was a kick in the head for sure.)

irate944@piefed.social · 13 pts · 173d (2 replies)

Latin. For no specific reason, it would just be cool

chunes@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 173d

This would be my answer too, but because it would instantly give me a much better understanding of the etymology of many words.

DeuxChevaux@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 172d

Me too. I could read all the old texts in its original form.

Cocodapuf@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 172d (2 replies)

language that nobody speaks in your region

I realize this is a bit pedantic, but if you live in a city, there aren't really languages that aren't spoken in your region.

But for my choice, definitely Aztec. There's nothing more fun to say than Aztec words. Tlachtli. Quetzalcoatl. Axolotl. Tlapalpoyactic.

(That last one is the word for the color "orange")

dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 172d (1 reply)

I see your pedantry and raise you my own:

There are absolutely languages nobody speaks in your region even if you live in a city.

I therefore choose sign language or Assembly.

Cocodapuf@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 172d

Heh, I guess I wouldn't say I "speak" it, but between programming games and actual coding, I think I've used 4 or 5 different dialects of assembly.

davidgro@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 173d (1 reply)

"Region" would have to be extremely small around here to not include someone who speaks almost any (natural) language a typical person could think of.

I'll just go ahead and answer a different question: If I could instantly learn any language and my SO could instantly learn it also, I'd pick ASL, because it would be very nice to have a way to communicate that works where talking either doesn't work (loud places, for example) or would disturb others, or just across a large room.

sbeak@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 172d

Oh, sign language could be a good one!

cerebralhawks@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 172d

Japanese, for the media. But really…

Loxian. The language was created by Enya’s songwriter, Roma Ryan, and the two of them are the only users of Loxian. Ryan’s husband Nicky (Enya’s producer) passed way last year, and his wife is probably not far behind. She’s in her 80s (Enya is in her mid-60s herself).

It is a real language and it exists in exactly five songs by Enya. The best one IMO being The Loxian Gate. The only reason we have translations is because Roma herself has written them, and we have to take her at her word that they are accurate, because it’s her language.

If you don’t want to look up any songs and hear it, it sounds like Gaelic (traditional Irish language) with some Elvish (like from Lord of the Rings, which Enya did the song May it Be from, and sang part of it in Elvish) mixed in.

neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 173d

Mandarin. It'd be useful for me to learn because of my job, and I've been meaning to learn it for quite a while. I just can't seem to find a decent source for learning that doesn't focus on the written language; I only need spoken Mandarin.

MisterNeon@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 172d

Nahuatl. It's one of the indigenous languages of Mexico. It's what the people of Tenochtitlan and several other cities spoke.

When people think "Aztec" it's that language.

JoeKrogan@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 173d

Chinese

zlatiah@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 172d (2 replies)

Define "nobody", because there are over 100 languages spoken at fluent level or above by at least a few ppl where I live

If we ignore the technicalities... Polish. Spoken by a lot of people, quite difficult to learn & would be a good priority target for magically learning it, and hopefully a good gateway to the rest of the Slavic languages

hector@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 172d

India has over 600 languages endemic too it, and I think many more that have been lost.

Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 172d

There's a Polish club in my state that offers Polish language classes.

There is a very small group of Polish immigrants here, I'm thinking of taking the next class (the one offered is already in session). I live pretty far from where they're at, but honestly, it's a beautiful language.

RobotToaster@mander.xyz · 8 pts · 173d (1 reply)

Whatever the Voynich manuscript is written in.

MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 172d

I learned about that mystery just yesterday from another Lemmy post - really fascinating!

droning_in_my_ears@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 172d

I'd travel out of Germany then choose German then travel back.

mycodesucks@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 172d

Whatever language the Voynich manuscript is written in.

AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 172d (1 reply)

If we're talking city wide, then I doubt there are many fluent French speakers. So I'd Probably choose French just to not use it.

hector@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 172d

The trick is to learn french, then pretend not to know it if any french try to use it with you, out of spite.

Apeman42@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 173d (1 reply)

Well I probably can't say Klingon, too many goddamn nerds around here. How about Welsh? It'd be fun to go gargle at the locals in Cardiff about Doctor Who filming if I ever visit the UK.

CelloMike@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 173d

-Were at war with their neighbours for centuries

-Language containing many chhhhh sounds

-Lots of singing

The Welsh are Klingons

Pirtatogna@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 173d

Lojban

tiredofsametab@fedia.io · 5 pts · 173d (1 reply)

Norwegian. I'm already working on it, but magic would be nice

sbeak@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 172d

Magic is always good

TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 172d

Probably either Latin or Gaelic. Both just sound neat.

sefra1@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 171d

Would probably go for Japanese since I watch too much anime and Japanese media so learning Japanese would be super useful.

But then most anime and tons of Japanese media is translated anyway, except for music, but in that case I listen to a lot more of German music than I do Japanese, so maybe I would learn German instead.

But then, I can probably learn German much easier the traditional way that I can an Asian language, so maybe I should use the cheat to learn the language that would be harder for me to learn traditionally than just German. (Even though I've watched so much anime by now that I effectively can understand Japanese much better than I do German.)

hayvan@piefed.world · 4 pts · 173d

Learning Mandarin would make me the most valuable guy dealing with Chinese and Taiwanese chip vendors.

Deestan@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 172d

Lojban!

If someone else turned out to understand me after all, we'd be immediate besties

Libb@piefed.social · 4 pts · 172d

I live in a large city, I reckon most languages must be spoken by at least a few people around me. Not even considering so-called dead languages.

That being said, I would love to learn Chinese. I think I'll see next year if I can enroll in one of the few courses available in said large city (Paris). I've just started learning Russian something which, I imagine in our so incredibly nuanced times, coupled with me also wanting to learn Chinese, will make me quite suspicious. That's fine ;)

TomMasz@piefed.social · 4 pts · 172d (1 reply)

My son-in-law is learning Finnish. That's on top of the English and German (Army brat) he already knows. As for me, I know Spanish and some German, and while Finnish would certainly qualify as a "nobody speaks" candidate, I'd go for Dutch. I've been to the Netherlands a couple of times, and it seems like a fun one to learn. There's no Dutch community locally that I'm aware of.

tiredofsametab@fedia.io · 2 pts · 172d

Never too late to start. If you already know English and some German, Dutch should be even easier than it already is.

bdonvr@thelemmy.club · 4 pts · 172d

I have spent a few years learning Spanish, and that's something I use pretty much every day. I can understand it almost as well as English, but my speaking lags much further behind.

I would like to learn Mandarin, but unlike Spanish there is pretty much absolutely zero relation between English and Mandarin. And because I wouldn't use it nearly as much unless I forced it, I'm sure I could spend over a decade studying it as hard as I have Spanish and be worse at it. So Mandarin is my answer.

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 4 pts · 172d (2 replies)

Dog.

sbeak@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 172d (1 reply)

Are there really no dogs in the area?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 3 pts · 172d

There are, but they all speak cat.

Kennystillalive@feddit.org · 3 pts · 172d

Japanese. As a Manga & Light Novel reader, there is nothing more devastating than having a series you really love being ripped away from you because the source is not licensed yet and the guy doing the fan translations has lost interest.

Nemo@midwest.social · 3 pts · 172d

Lakota:

  • Help preserve an endangered language

  • I've always wanted to learn it

  • Useful when I go back home

  • and frankly, it's probably the only language I'd want to learn without a community of native speakers in Chicago

NoblityAbility@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 172d
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FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 3 pts · 173d

How strict is "nobody speaks"? Because pretty much every language is covered if it's vague enough. If I drove two hours I could probably find somebody who speaks Pheonician.

MrsDoyle@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 172d

Hungarian, so I could have a good conversation with my lovely stepfather, whose English isn't great.

Cantonese and/or Mandarin for chat with Chinese friends and relatives.

What I really want though is a babel fish - you put it in your ear and it acts as a universal translator. Any language, Earth or alien.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 172d (2 replies)

Hmm spanish or chinese would be most helpful statistically, but French or German would be best for understanding things i want to read + watch.

Also knowing latin or ancient greek is great for showing off.. lots of buildings around here that have latin on themand it hurts me when i don't know 100% what they say.

Russian or Estonian, both of which are because I frequently listen to lots of music t

Me too!

tiredofsametab@fedia.io · 1 pts · 172d (1 reply)

If you learn French, you will already be able to read and understand some bits of Spanish and can learn it without a ton of effort. A bit harder the other way around.

Witchfire@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 172d

Spanish helps learning French more than it helps reading French, from experience

hector@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 172d

Tokein's elvish, or other language I think he constructed several unique languages just for his backstory.

His cousin and him made their own language growing up they used to talk to each other, so it didn't start with his books.

MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 171d

Cobol.

lehan0172648@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 173d

Coding Language. Then we can easily talk to humans and computers.

dsilverz@calckey.world · 2 pts · 172d

@sbeak@sopuli.xyz @asklemmy@lemmy.world
Sumerian. Ka'tar Namush Sil (𒆆𒌆𒍗𒋛)!

Mesa@programming.dev · 1 pts · 170d

Haven't picked back up consistently learning Japanese in like 8 years, but it's a joy to feel the progress of learning such a vastly different language. I know enough Spanish that it'd be a waste to spend this gift on it.

I guess the most tactical option for me that's still interesting would be Arabic, because while I love the idea of knowing it, I don't think I'll ever give myself the time to learn it.

Fleur_@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 171d

Malay probably

Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 172d
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rockmeat@feddit.org · 1 pts · 172d

Ithkuil! For the sheer information density and the bragging rights of being fluent in a language not even its creator can speak

BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 173d

Chinese ? Idk define “region”

callyral@pawb.social · 1 pts · 172d

Dutch, French or Japanese.

Dutch because I would like to live in or at least visit the Netherlands some day,

French or Japanese because French is interesting and learning Japanese unlocks a whole other side of the internet (and UI design), and anime without subtitles.

Out of those I'd probably pick Japanese, as Dutch is relatively easier to learn by non-magical means.

Dran_Arcana@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 172d

Chinese, specifically so I can exclusively curse in it like they did on firefly.

HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 172d

Nobody in my region?

I'd be surprised if I could find one with any use beyond a small community in an undeveloped part of the world.

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 1 pts · 172d

A joke an NYC paramedic told me.

He said that he'd started in the Bronx, and had a hard time because he didn't speak any Spanish.

He had a much easier time after he went to Queens, because he didn't speak Spanish, Mandarin, Korean, Portuguese, Dutch, French, Haitian Creole, or any of the other 200 languages found there.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 172d

latin. old english

cepelinas@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 172d

Probably one of the nordic languages as everyone from my country is going there for work.

pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 171d

EESTI RIIGI KEEL, ON EESTI KEEL!!!!

anyways i choose cornish so i can continue learning German and after that Spanish.