They don't, not enough sodium in coconut juice for one thing.
I guess you first use the clean juice to make the wounded stop dying long enough so you can stitch what's left of them together, and if they wake up you could tuck a salt pill under their tongue.
Way too much potassium too (and gives a hint as to why it burns at the infusion site just like a k run would). It's like d5w with potassium and mag. Potentially quite deadly over the long term. Thankfully the glucose in the coconut water treats hyperkalemia or it would be deadly in the short term.
Yeah it's actually a really shitty substitute for blood, it's just slightly less shitty than dying. It was all about keeping the blood pressure high enough so that what little blood you had would work. Coconut water was one of the only things that could do that without also killing you. It's still a very bad day
Well you could always go the boiled water and some salt route. "Yo dog I heard you liked shock so I infused some water with bacteria antigens in it so you could go into shock while you're going into shock."
There is no greater disappointment for me than biting into something without suspecting a thing, and my taste buds then suddenly being assaulted by the vileness dubbed "coconut flavor".
In case my remains are consumed by animals or plants, I can't put them through something I hate so much. I mean, do we even know how long this will make you taste like coconut?!
I used to think coconut water tasted a little funny (odd mix of sweet, earthy, and umami, not like the coconut flesh at all). Then one day after a particularly long hot hike, I tried it again. I'd been hiking through a natural area that had lots of coconut palms. Crews had been clearing out some invasive species. This is relevant because they'd been using the same trails and had cut open and presumably drunk the water from dozens of coconuts along the way as they worked. These guys must know something I didn't, so I looked into coconut water as a drink because I'd never heard of such a thing at the time.
Anyway, this is all to say that I gave coconut water a second chance when my body really needed it and although it tasted exactly as I remembered it I suddenly found that it tasted fucking amazing. I've been a convert since then. I used to drink Gatorade, but now Gatorade just tastes salty, like Kool-aid made with ball sweat by comparison.
If you've never been somewhere that has fresh coconut you should try it once. For me old brown coconuts in grocery stores, or dried coconut or the fake flavoring in candies etc = disgusting. Fresh coconut is awesome.
68 Comments
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world · 99 pts · 191d
Where are you going to get a coconut on the Western Front? Some kind of swallow-based logistics system?
jqubed@lemmy.world · 47 pts · 191d
A swallow, carrying a coconut?
mastertigurius@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 191d
If it's an African one. Not sure about the European one if we're talking young coconuts, those things are heavy.
hector@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 191d
African ones are non migratory though.
village604@adultswim.fan · 7 pts · 190d
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
hector@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 190d
Not at all, the swallow could've carried it by the husk.
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 191d
I'm guessing this was somewhere in the pacific
hector@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 191d
A swallow couldn't carry a coconut from the tropics, they don't have the mass and thrust of flying necessary to lift and carry one that far.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 191d
Yeah, where were they fighting, the Pacific or something?
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 191d
No man, you gotta upgrade to Big Gulp based logistics.
mech@feddit.org · 50 pts · 191d
Gets interesting when you start to wonder why a coconut and human blood have the same concentration of electrolytes.
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com · 75 pts · 191d
Or why they both scream when you crack them open to get at the yummy liquid inside
Kn1ghtDigital@lemmy.zip · 23 pts · 191d
We are all coconuts. Someone tell the crab people!
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com · 15 pts · 191d
(I screenshotted this and sent it to Rust programmers)
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 34 pts · 191d
They don't, not enough sodium in coconut juice for one thing.
I guess you first use the clean juice to make the wounded stop dying long enough so you can stitch what's left of them together, and if they wake up you could tuck a salt pill under their tongue.
roguetrick@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 191d
Way too much potassium too (and gives a hint as to why it burns at the infusion site just like a k run would). It's like d5w with potassium and mag. Potentially quite deadly over the long term. Thankfully the glucose in the coconut water treats hyperkalemia or it would be deadly in the short term.
Agent641@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 191d
Yeah it's actually a really shitty substitute for blood, it's just slightly less shitty than dying. It was all about keeping the blood pressure high enough so that what little blood you had would work. Coconut water was one of the only things that could do that without also killing you. It's still a very bad day
roguetrick@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 191d
Well you could always go the boiled water and some salt route. "Yo dog I heard you liked shock so I infused some water with bacteria antigens in it so you could go into shock while you're going into shock."
ameancow@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 191d
clucose@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 190d
This machines is fueled by Hamburgers and greased by it’s fat.
Greddan@feddit.org · 23 pts · 191d
Clusterfck@lemmy.sdf.org · 21 pts · 191d
Please, no shaking the trauma victims.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 191d
... Lime juice through an IV is probably going to be extremely painful to endure, and could just kill you.
For starters: "My blood is on fire" is roughly what that would feel like, lime juice is extremely acidic.
Beyond that: It isn't sterile.
So you're literally mainlining bacterial infections.
Extremely bad idea, its such a bad idea that it would basically constitute a horrific form of torture/execution.
fossilesque@mander.xyz · 7 pts · 191d
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 191d
I did not realize one could be allergic to coconut, but yes probably avoid that then lol!
It... probably would not 'burn' with the same intensity, as its less acidic than lime.
But... being allergic to it... and then mainlining it... seems like a bad idea that would probably also hurt.
:0
fossilesque@mander.xyz · 5 pts · 191d
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 191d
Ahem, well lets hope it wouldn't end up petrifying you. =P
reddfugee@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 191d
Now put the *line in the coconut
W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 190d
https://youtu.be/cB4V860YojE
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 191d
They're actually perfect because they double up as cannon balls too
ameancow@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 191d
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 191d
This also works for hangover recovery.
Coconut water is awesome!
ebolapie@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 191d
You can actually just drink it if you're hung over in most cases.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 191d
Oh dear.
Yes, that is what I meant, but ... I now realize I should have specified that.
Yes, you don't need to mainline the coconut water for it to be good for you lol!
ebolapie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 190d
Mainlining a coconut for a hangover would be so rock and roll though
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 10 pts · 191d
Piña Colonic
doomsdayrs@lemmy.ml · 10 pts · 191d
isn't this a decades long myth?
fossilesque@mander.xyz · 9 pts · 191d
Etterra@discuss.online · 10 pts · 191d
Don't tell the Jehovah's Witnesses, they'll use it to further justify their insane anti-blood transfusion beliefs.
Thunderbird4@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 191d
Gilligan-ass field hospital
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org · 6 pts · 191d
Big news for the tropical vampire community
thermal_shock@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 191d
Jackie Chan did it in Who Am I. Amazing 90s movie.
https://youtu.be/k7gfxT-SpjM
friend_of_satan@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 191d
The driving stunts in that movie are so rad, like her 180 reverse parking job.
Bosht@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 191d
I'm stuck on where the hell these guys were finding coconuts...????
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 191d
A lot of WWII was fought on Pacific islands.
tektite@slrpnk.net · 16 pts · 191d
The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
SacralPlexus@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 191d
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
tektite@slrpnk.net · 10 pts · 191d
Not at all. They could be carried.
qc_butter1@infosec.pub · 6 pts · 191d
What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
tektite@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 191d
It could grip it by the husk!
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 191d
... The... Pacific theatre?
Whole bunch of tropical islands?
hector@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 191d
Iwa Jima, guam, midway, all that pacific ocean area they fought the japanese for.
That and or a swallow based logistic system as someone else suggested.
thethrilloftime69@feddit.online · 3 pts · 191d
In the Pacific
TheBat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 191d
thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz · 2 pts · 191d
Coconuts are tropical! This is a temperate zone!
TheBat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 191d
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 191d
Coconut is not a nut.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 190d
Its also not a coco
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 190d
Similar to how a red panda isn't a panda or wild rice isn't rice or a sichuan pepper isn't a pepper... yeah there's a lot of these.
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 190d
Panda bears were named after red pandas, both in Chinese and English.
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 190d
So you're saying pandas aren't pandas?
SlurpingPus@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 190d
Evidently yes.
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 190d
...
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 190d
Nuttier than a coconut... I finally understand
J92@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 191d
Yeah but the hairs ruin your razor, shaving the puncture site.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 191d
I would rather die
ameancow@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 191d
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 191d
There is no greater disappointment for me than biting into something without suspecting a thing, and my taste buds then suddenly being assaulted by the vileness dubbed "coconut flavor".
In case my remains are consumed by animals or plants, I can't put them through something I hate so much. I mean, do we even know how long this will make you taste like coconut?!
ameancow@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 191d
Wolf314159@startrek.website · 2 pts · 190d
I used to think coconut water tasted a little funny (odd mix of sweet, earthy, and umami, not like the coconut flesh at all). Then one day after a particularly long hot hike, I tried it again. I'd been hiking through a natural area that had lots of coconut palms. Crews had been clearing out some invasive species. This is relevant because they'd been using the same trails and had cut open and presumably drunk the water from dozens of coconuts along the way as they worked. These guys must know something I didn't, so I looked into coconut water as a drink because I'd never heard of such a thing at the time.
Anyway, this is all to say that I gave coconut water a second chance when my body really needed it and although it tasted exactly as I remembered it I suddenly found that it tasted fucking amazing. I've been a convert since then. I used to drink Gatorade, but now Gatorade just tastes salty, like Kool-aid made with ball sweat by comparison.
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 191d
but it goes in your blood?
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 191d
Yes, and if anything were to eat me, it would have the same experience I have eating a chocolate.bar with coconut in it :(
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 191d
If you've never been somewhere that has fresh coconut you should try it once. For me old brown coconuts in grocery stores, or dried coconut or the fake flavoring in candies etc = disgusting. Fresh coconut is awesome.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 191d
If I ever get the chance, I'll make sure to try!
hector@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 191d
But with no transfusions you would be a husk of a man by the end.
SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 190d
I'm allergic to coconut, so I would.
Etterra@discuss.online · 1 pts · 191d
I mean so would I, but not from coconut juice in my blood.
edinbruh@feddit.it · 2 pts · 191d
Get them coconut electrolytes