Roses are red, cabinets have shelves...

592 points · 40 comments · view on lemmy.world

40 Comments

ignotum@lemmy.world · 84 pts · 175d (4 replies)

If i was an ICE agent i'd probably shoot myself too

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 175d (1 reply)

Or you could just.....ya know.....NOT be an ICE agent. Do they realize that's an option?

curbstickle@anarchist.nexus · 30 pts · 175d

They are ICE agents, so... Probably not.

Seaguy05@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 175d (1 reply)

Do you think you'd still get that sign on bonus?

ignotum@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 175d

From what i've heard they haven't been getting that bonus even if they manage to not shoot themselves, i guess crime doesn't pay?

Lydia_K@lemmy.world · 79 pts · 175d

Feel good story of the year right here.

shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works · 56 pts · 175d (1 reply)

regedit@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 175d

How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow?

YO!

I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes!

::flips helmet mask down::

Keep firing, Assholes!

cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone · 45 pts · 175d

first good thing ice has done

hellfire103@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 175d

You laugh now, but when they figure out they have to hold them forwards it's over. /j

sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml · 24 pts · 175d

green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 19 pts · 175d

nature is healing

theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 19 pts · 175d (2 replies)

Are they secretly good people after all?

osanna@thebrainbin.org · 12 pts · 175d (1 reply)

no

theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 22 pts · 175d

True just like Hitler wasn't good even though he killed Hitler.

aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 175d

Nature is healing.

JustJack23@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 175d

Good

jaybone@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 175d (1 reply)

When they shot Good, they sure weren’t worried about crossfire. It doesn’t surprise me these clowns would be shooting eachother regularly.

DragonAce@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 175d

Not each other, themselves. The article says these morons shot themselves in the leg while holstering their weapons. LOL

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 175d (2 replies)

Idk why but "roses are red" jokes always make me giggle like a child

Rekorse@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 175d

Because its clever and has a fantastic cadence. Its funny to me that the start is always the same but the punchline varies wildly too.

Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 173d

Roses are red,

The humor is mild,

Idk why but "roses are red" jokes always make me giggle like a child

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 175d

Inspiring, reminds me of the guy who killed Hitler

big_dog_pie@piefed.social · 9 pts · 175d (2 replies)

Did they get tired of shooting their spouses?

Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca · 20 pts · 175d (1 reply)

No ICE agents are actually a lot more progressive than us. They shoot everyone equally including immigrants, non-immigrants, protestors, innocent bystanders, and evidently now themselves.

AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 173d

Don't forget the press!

MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 175d (3 replies)

They would probably stop shooting themselves if their Bananadine and Jenkem habits didn't cost them like a million bucks an hour, thanks liberals

MTZ@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 175d (1 reply)

Lol did you just reference the fictional drug from Anarchist Cookbook AND the fictional drug from TOTSE.

A true master of the shitpost. You have my respect sir.

MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 175d

Is my age showing or am I just too young to be on the Internet

CADmonkey@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 174d

A TOTSE reference?

9point6@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 175d (2 replies)

It would be lovely if they all would

village604@adultswim.fan · 3 pts · 175d (1 reply)

In the head instead of the leg, though.

Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 175d

Groin first, then head.

merc@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 174d (1 reply)

How many are doing it on purpose? They got a big signing bonus that has to be paid back if they quit. They hate the job, and don't want to do it, but they already spent the signing bonus. If they're injured on the job they get time to recover, and might be assigned to a desk job once they're out of the hospital. Blam

MTZ@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 174d

I read on several news sites that many if not all of them have not and will not see that bonus. Something about having to be there 5 years, and ICE isn't expected to be a thing in 5 years.

33550336@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 175d

Very good 😊

br0da@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 175d

bhamlin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 175d

They should stop hiring Barney Fife.

Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 2 pts · 175d

Ice got iced.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 175d

is that where all those SIGs went?