What we need now is an Argon Crystal laser. See an Argon Crystal laser can pierce thick space hulls in a way that other lasers just can't. Send your money now.
Damn near 20 years ago now, Kenneth Copeland and his extended family of Prosperity Gospel grifters. Fuck him, fuck Creflo Dollar, Jesse Duplantis, Keith Moore, Benny Hinn, Todd White, and anyone I might have forgotten to mention.
I generally assume when Jesus was decrying the perils of wealth, and telling dumb rich people to go sell their shit… he had a cheesy car salesman grin and a hand out, maybe muttered something like “let me help you with that “,
On that we can agree. It is my understanding that the only true "church" is just the collective population of believers, and that establishments/organizations of religion are anathema to Christ's teachings.
Except I'm not drawing it exclusively from one verse.
I'm drawing that conclusion from an understanding of both his nature, and literally that of every other charlatan.
He was faking miracles in order to grift people out of their hard-earned money. Further more, it's quite clear by the same accounts in the gospels that Jesus did not in fact have any beef with rich people, per se, and often enjoyed the benefits wealth brought. (i.e. by staying in their homes.)
There's no reason to imagine Jesus was any better than any other faith-healing grifter.
And lets be perfectly clear here, those gospels also say he said he'd return and do the whole messiah thing, the final judgement, all that, before all of the disciples would have died. that clearly has not happened.
Ah, I can see how you'd interpret the situation that way, if you suppose fake miracles were involved. I'm not convinced there were any miracles, real or fake, rather than such things being added to the account later by charlatans to lend legitimacy to their claims.
Anyone claiming to be the messiah would have had to do miracles. It was basically how a messiah would validate his claims and not get, you know, stoned and left in a ditch somewhere. (and getting people to follow him as he massed an army to make a go at the whole World Domination thing.) the only reason we really know about him at all is because he annoyed the romans enough they got involved. (and that was less about jesus and more that the romans didn't like locals doing their own executions. leaving bodies in ditches is very untidy, and in any case, executions were subject to roman approval, even if Herod could have ordered it.)
In point of fact, the roman occupation and oppression made such messages very very attractive to people. Which, uh. made them very easy to scam. which made grifters pretending to be the messiah and scamming them rather common. Simon bar Giora, John of Giscala, Menehem ben Judas all come to mind.
Just like people claiming Trump is the antichrist is compelling to certain segments today.
None of what Jesus is recorded as teaching is even all that new. People have been saying that people should be basically decent. But what that meant to Jesus was something rather different than what it means to us. We read far too much of our modern understanding of things into the gospels. Jesus literally had more to say about paying taxes to oppressors than he did about slavery- and yet, slavery was such a common institution that he would have seen it daily.
He would have seen slaves on a near-daily, especially after going into Jerusalem; yet never once dd he say anything about it. never once did he go to a slave market and start flipping tables.
Suffice it to say, that if there was a historical Jesus, he was an ironage charlatan who was saying what people wanted to hear, in order get money from them. And you'll notice, they kept moving around? yeah. That's so the people that gave money and didn't get healed couldn't find them.
if there wasn't a historical Jesus... then whoever came up with all that shit is just as bad, and just as much charlatans. (and they too were faking miracles, supposedly.)
Mythicism doesn’t paint any better of a picture of whoever came up with the “teachings”.
Either way, whoever started it was scamming people. (I would suggest Paul was from the get go, too, even if Jesus was real.)
That said, if Jesus was real and he claimed to be a messiah, then he would have been expected to do miracles to prove it. So if the most basic part of his claim is true, he’d have had to do a little sumth’n sumth’n
Get him a RC plane looking like a jet. Then, if he seems unhappy with it, call him out as an ungrateful heretic. Proceed to throw rocks towards his head. God gave you a jet mf”er, WTH is the problem?
It is what Jesus would do. Be like Jesus.
I also need that! C'mon god! Let us win the lotto so I can have my private jet! And two beautiful women wearing almost nothing who are madly in love. And a guy who drives my vehicles and has a very large reproductive organ. Hey! He's driving away with my ladies!
Last I checked, I thought having such expensive luxuries would absolutely be following the sin of greed. Last I checked, God doesn't give out orders to commit sins.
Then again, I would expect these stereotypical Christian devil worshipers disguised as prophets to swindle common folk to worship false prophets and idols so if Satan ever tries to invade Heaven they'll have way more unwilling slaves.
44 Comments
remon@ani.social · 45 pts · 156d
AlexLost@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 155d
What we need now is an Argon Crystal laser. See an Argon Crystal laser can pierce thick space hulls in a way that other lasers just can't. Send your money now.
5715@feddit.org · 34 pts · 156d
I heard that one 10, 12 years ago and I assume older folks have heard it before that.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 31 pts · 156d
Damn near 20 years ago now, Kenneth Copeland and his extended family of Prosperity Gospel grifters. Fuck him, fuck Creflo Dollar, Jesse Duplantis, Keith Moore, Benny Hinn, Todd White, and anyone I might have forgotten to mention.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 20 pts · 156d
joel olsteen too.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 156d
Oh yeah, double-fuck him. Locking his church's doors during a hurricane to keep people from taking refuge in it is straight up anti-Christ.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 156d
I generally assume when Jesus was decrying the perils of wealth, and telling dumb rich people to go sell their shit… he had a cheesy car salesman grin and a hand out, maybe muttered something like “let me help you with that “,
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 156d
Why assume that? He literally says to give the proceeds to the poor. Matthew 19:21
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 156d
Because he’s already a charlatan grifting the poor and desperate for cash.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 156d
Kinda fucked up to draw that conclusion from him telling a rich guy to give it all to the poor. Not to him, directly to the poor.
The problem isn't Christ's doctrine, it's the endless lineage of grifters twisting it to take the money for themselves.
somethingsnappy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 156d
Sorry, I side with the fig tree. Show me a christian church without massive sin.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 156d
On that we can agree. It is my understanding that the only true "church" is just the collective population of believers, and that establishments/organizations of religion are anathema to Christ's teachings.
somethingsnappy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 155d
How is a collective different from an organization?
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 156d
Except I'm not drawing it exclusively from one verse.
I'm drawing that conclusion from an understanding of both his nature, and literally that of every other charlatan.
He was faking miracles in order to grift people out of their hard-earned money. Further more, it's quite clear by the same accounts in the gospels that Jesus did not in fact have any beef with rich people, per se, and often enjoyed the benefits wealth brought. (i.e. by staying in their homes.)
There's no reason to imagine Jesus was any better than any other faith-healing grifter.
And lets be perfectly clear here, those gospels also say he said he'd return and do the whole messiah thing, the final judgement, all that, before all of the disciples would have died. that clearly has not happened.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 156d
Ah, I can see how you'd interpret the situation that way, if you suppose fake miracles were involved. I'm not convinced there were any miracles, real or fake, rather than such things being added to the account later by charlatans to lend legitimacy to their claims.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 155d
Anyone claiming to be the messiah would have had to do miracles. It was basically how a messiah would validate his claims and not get, you know, stoned and left in a ditch somewhere. (and getting people to follow him as he massed an army to make a go at the whole World Domination thing.) the only reason we really know about him at all is because he annoyed the romans enough they got involved. (and that was less about jesus and more that the romans didn't like locals doing their own executions. leaving bodies in ditches is very untidy, and in any case, executions were subject to roman approval, even if Herod could have ordered it.)
In point of fact, the roman occupation and oppression made such messages very very attractive to people. Which, uh. made them very easy to scam. which made grifters pretending to be the messiah and scamming them rather common. Simon bar Giora, John of Giscala, Menehem ben Judas all come to mind.
Just like people claiming Trump is the antichrist is compelling to certain segments today.
None of what Jesus is recorded as teaching is even all that new. People have been saying that people should be basically decent. But what that meant to Jesus was something rather different than what it means to us. We read far too much of our modern understanding of things into the gospels. Jesus literally had more to say about paying taxes to oppressors than he did about slavery- and yet, slavery was such a common institution that he would have seen it daily.
He would have seen slaves on a near-daily, especially after going into Jerusalem; yet never once dd he say anything about it. never once did he go to a slave market and start flipping tables.
Suffice it to say, that if there was a historical Jesus, he was an ironage charlatan who was saying what people wanted to hear, in order get money from them. And you'll notice, they kept moving around? yeah. That's so the people that gave money and didn't get healed couldn't find them.
if there wasn't a historical Jesus... then whoever came up with all that shit is just as bad, and just as much charlatans. (and they too were faking miracles, supposedly.)
daychilde@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 155d
Those gospels were all written well after his death. They're probably about as accurate as George Washington chopping down the cherry tree.
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 155d
Mythicism doesn’t paint any better of a picture of whoever came up with the “teachings”.
Either way, whoever started it was scamming people. (I would suggest Paul was from the get go, too, even if Jesus was real.)
That said, if Jesus was real and he claimed to be a messiah, then he would have been expected to do miracles to prove it. So if the most basic part of his claim is true, he’d have had to do a little sumth’n sumth’n
msage@programming.dev · 1 pts · 156d
The poor.
Not the opportunistic.
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 156d
Yes, that is what Jesus says in the verse I referenced.
Danarchy@lemmy.nz · 17 pts · 156d
Pretty dumb god if he doesn’t even look at oil prices before saying this
FuglyDuck@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 156d
FBI should loan him one of theirs and have agents as pilots or something
AffineConnection@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 155d
Of course he will next say that God needs him to have access to his followers' wives and daughters. That is pretty much the standard with cults.
titanicx@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 155d
That's usually first on the list.
org@lemmy.org · 13 pts · 156d
At this point, if people are so dumb they fall for that, I think he deserves that jet.
athatet@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 156d
Yeah you’re right. The victims of the abuse should be the ones blamed.
Psiczar@aussie.zone · -1 pts · 156d
Who is he abusing? He’s selling “salvation” and people seem happy to buy.
org@lemmy.org · -3 pts · 156d
Prole
athatet@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 155d
Me being a worker is not a good insult.
org@lemmy.org · 0 pts · 155d
That’s not the insult.
athatet@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 155d
So it’s a compliment?
org@lemmy.org · -1 pts · 155d
You’re aware of its meaning.
athatet@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 155d
k
mouse@piefed.world · 10 pts · 156d
God needs you to send me money. I take PayPal, zelle, check, cash, venmo, Amazon and visa gift cards.
IratePirate@feddit.org · 3 pts · 155d
Sorry, I only have Biblecoin.
JayK117@aussie.zone · 10 pts · 156d
You misspelled "profit"
jack_of_sandwich@lemmy.sdf.org · 5 pts · 155d
Pretty sure if God needed that, He could make it happen without needing people to make donations.
Assuming He exists, of course.
P00ptart@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 156d
6stringringer@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 155d
Get him a RC plane looking like a jet. Then, if he seems unhappy with it, call him out as an ungrateful heretic. Proceed to throw rocks towards his head. God gave you a jet mf”er, WTH is the problem? It is what Jesus would do. Be like Jesus.
altphoto@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 156d
I also need that! C'mon god! Let us win the lotto so I can have my private jet! And two beautiful women wearing almost nothing who are madly in love. And a guy who drives my vehicles and has a very large reproductive organ. Hey! He's driving away with my ladies!
Forget it! Asshole!
AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 155d
Last I checked, I thought having such expensive luxuries would absolutely be following the sin of greed. Last I checked, God doesn't give out orders to commit sins.
Then again, I would expect these stereotypical Christian devil worshipers disguised as prophets to swindle common folk to worship false prophets and idols so if Satan ever tries to invade Heaven they'll have way more unwilling slaves.
enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 155d