Pretty sure this is one of the harbingers of the apocalypse...

Either the world is ending or Chuck Norris tried to self harm. There's no other explanation.

213 points · 84 comments · view on lemmy.world

84 Comments

YoFrodo@lemmy.world · 241 pts · 160d (14 replies)

Chuck Norris is a POS. Hes a massive outspoken bigot. The chuck norris jokes are lame now because he has become the joke. What a fucking loser.

rosco385@lemmy.wtf · 36 pts · 160d (7 replies)

My brother in Christ, we're in the shitpost sub.

YoFrodo@lemmy.world · 122 pts · 160d (3 replies)

Its still a post glazing a bigot

Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world · 63 pts · 160d (2 replies)

Yea I'm with ya on this. Fuck Chuck, he's a cunt.

MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Chuck a cunt, he's fuck.

starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 160d

Fuck Chunt, he's a badger

Hegar@fedia.io · 46 pts · 160d

Pointing out what a shitbag someone is seems entirely appropriate for the comments of a shitposting community though.

athatet@lemmy.zip · 22 pts · 160d

And you certainly did post shit. GG I suppose.

subignition@fedia.io · 10 pts · 160d

What exactly do you take that to mean?

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 160d

I upvoted all of these comments.

teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Under Chuck Morris's racism is another fist! And it's up Trump's ass!

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 160d

More like another tongue

WanderWisley@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 160d

100%!

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 11 pts · 160d

his whole persona is a being a " conservative Texan" cant get anymore obvious than that

hellfire103@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 160d

That's part of the reason we're making Chuck Norris jokes instead of sympathising one iota. May as well have some fun.

Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de · 53 pts · 160d (4 replies)

+++BREAKING NEWS+++ he dead now

BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 160d
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 160d (2 replies)

US Healthcare FTW!! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip · 27 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Damn the only thing that could kill Chuck Norris was US healthcare all along

WolfmanEightySix@piefed.social · 2 pts · 158d

Lucky he didn’t have this European commie healthcare or he’d have been dead a lot deader.  

VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 43 pts · 160d

Looks like the medical emergency had a Chuck Norris in the end.

db2@lemmy.world · 39 pts · 160d (11 replies)

Earlier Chuck I would be more concerned. Like Meatloaf it will be more of a relief that he can't fuck up any longer.

Next that piece of shit Clapton though. Music thief, xenophobic racist, there's nothing to like there, just die Eric.

Edit: Chuck's dead, March 20

DrFunkenstein@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 160d (5 replies)

Wait drop the tea about Clapton killing a child

db2@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 160d (4 replies)

His son, fell out the window, like 56 floors.

I'm going to take that part back though, I had been told he was high and neglect caused it which doesn't seem to be true. His son ran toward a floor to ceiling window that didn't have a window in it.

jim_v@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 160d

Do you know the difference between a bag of coke and a small child?

˙ʍopuᴉʍ ǝɥʇ ɟo ʇno ʎlɟ ǝʞoɔ ɟo ƃɐq ɐ ʇǝl ǝʌɐɥ ʇ,uplnoʍ uoʇdɐlƆ

fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net · 6 pts · 160d

Iirc he wasn’t even there at the time

bcgm3@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 159d (1 reply)

I was under the same initial impression as you, but this version doesn't sound that much less negligent. How are you gonna have your baby in a house with an unobstructed opening to the street 500+ feet below?

db2@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 159d

I agree, I'd never even consider it as an option.

Someone else says he might not have even been there at the time. I don't know which scenario would be worse though.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 160d (4 replies)

Let's not forget Van Morrison in this discussion!

db2@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 160d (3 replies)

Wow, he went from goofy to full on nuts. But for every Van Morrison there's also a Neil Young, or that's what I choose to believe anyway.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 160d (2 replies)

Just learned about his shittiness earlier today. Sucks as a huge sandman fan. I've learned to not look into ANY artist if I want to continue enjoying their works.

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 160d (1 reply)

LOL, that's Neil Gaiman, the author. The only controversy with Neil Young, the singer, that I'm aware of was him taking his music off of Spotify because of Rogan, but that only lasted 2 years.

YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 159d

I didn't even realize they said Neil young until just now. That dude's a real one.

LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works · 32 pts · 160d (9 replies)

Yeah right, the only way he's going down is if Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S Preston, Theodor Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast and kicked Chuck Norris and his cowboy ass.

benderbeerman@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 160d (5 replies)

Man, that would be the bloodiest battle the world ever seen

agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 160d (3 replies)

That fight would rage on for a century and claim many lives

starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 160d (2 replies)

But eventually the champion would stand, the rest would see their better: Mister Rogers

chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Would he be in a bloodstained sweater?

starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 159d

You bet. It would be the ultimate showdown of ultimate history!

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 160d

more like found dead in his bed in a pile of his shit. A fitting end.

undeffeined@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 160d (1 reply)

He dead

LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 160d

Oh fuck

teslekova@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 160d

And Dangermouse and Bananaman and Roger Ramjet.

SirBucksworth@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 160d (1 reply)

You mean the hospital has been rushed to Chuck Norris

hellfire103@lemmy.ca · 25 pts · 160d

Chuck Norris doesn't suffer medical emergencies: medical emergencies suffer Chuck Norris.

gravitas@pie.gravitywell.xyz · 22 pts · 160d

Is the hospital okay? 

Evotech@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 160d

He looked great for 86

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 160d (18 replies)

Gods, I can't wait for Chuck Norris to die just so the stupid 'jokes' will too. They were never funny, and Norris is a piece of shit

BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 160d (2 replies)
Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 160d

Lol, not even sorry.

Rot in piss chuckles.

SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org · 2 pts · 159d

I would've gladly traded Norris for Trump. Anyone got a monkey paw?

ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml · 17 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Surely the jokes died like 15 years ago?

Anyway, he's a piece of shit

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 160d

They're not that dead, you can smell their stench in this thread

thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de · 13 pts · 160d

Well, he did

starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 160d (2 replies)

Quick quick mention Donald Trump

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Honestly, yeah Trump another one I'd love to see die, because it won't be long before the outhouse opens and he gets the respect he deserves.

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 159d

Yeah, about that...

...sorry, I lied.

DeadDigger@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 160d

Chuck Norris will never die, nazis seem to respawn

AA5B@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 160d (7 replies)

Chuck Norris won’t have died, he’ll have found another realm to dominate

Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 160d

I'm imagining he's in an isekai rn

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 160d (5 replies)

Has jokes about being unkillable

Dies

AA5B@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 160d (4 replies)

Chick Norris didn’t die, he was too much for this world

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 160d (3 replies)

Yeah, that's what all dead people say

grey_maniac@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 159d (1 reply)

You talk to dead people?

Passerby6497@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 159d

Only when I forget my meds

AA5B@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 159d

Chuck Norris isn’t waiting at the pearly gates to be judged, the pearly gates were waiting to be judged by him

6stringringer@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 160d

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.

Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Imagine if Chuck goes before his god, Dotard.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 160d

...and finds out she's black...

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 160d (1 reply)

Chuck Norris isn't a harbinger of the apocalypse, he is the apocalypse.

village604@adultswim.fan · 1 pts · 160d

I guess we avoided Armageddon this time

Vinylraupe@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 160d (5 replies)

Damn is he Donald Trumps arch enemy? The size of the hands...

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 160d (3 replies)

Quite the opposite, he was a Trump supporter.

realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip · 7 pts · 159d (2 replies)

Which probably surprises noone, considering his entire career was about being the manly, conservative texan.

DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 159d (1 reply)

Yep. He said USA electing Obama set America back by 40 years.

I enjoy the Chuck Norris jokes but he was a piece of shit in real life

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 159d

thats why hes often compared to HULK HOGAN in a meme.

Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 159d

no hes a BIG FAN OF TRUMP

blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 158d

This aged well

greenbit@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 159d

It's said that the lizards can't survive in the new world atmosphere

WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 160d

There's flirting with death and then there's just teasing it.

Fedizen@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 160d

Has anyone asked AI if this is real?

i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca · -1 pts · 160d

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep.

He waits.

1984@lemmy.today · -4 pts · 160d

The injury decided to stop existing when it realized who it was attacking.