On the back, belly, face, etc always seemed like a waste of good cum to me. Like, if it's not being absorbed by mucus membranes somewhere, then are you really living?
Oh yeah??? So you're telling me if we did a comprehensive review of your comments we wouldn't find any instance of you saying "fuck [president's name]"???
51 Comments
Twinklebreeze@lemmy.world · 89 pts · 129d
Do you think you could perform in front of either of the Obamas? I know I couldn't.
Sanctus@anarchist.nexus · 119 pts · 129d
I'll whisper right in Obama's ear as I cream on his back "this is how you dispose of bus loads of kids," then I'd smack the back of his head.
Soulphite@reddthat.com · 63 pts · 129d
This is both the best and disturbing thing I've read in some time, well done!
God dammit.
baatliwala@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 129d
5ha99y@lemmus.org · 1 pts · 57d
errer@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 129d
Jesus fucking Christ
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 13 pts · 129d
On the back, belly, face, etc always seemed like a waste of good cum to me. Like, if it's not being absorbed by mucus membranes somewhere, then are you really living?
Angrydeuce@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 129d
chunes@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 129d
LMAO. Lemmy comment of the year right here.
bdonvr@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 129d
oyfrog@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 129d
Perform what though?
endlesseden@pyfedi.deep-rose.org · 39 pts · 129d
Under Pressure, clearly
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 8 pts · 129d
💀
bdonvr@thelemmy.club · 6 pts · 129d
Pressure
Pushing down on me
Pressing down on you
maccentric@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 128d
I can fake the drums; hardest part will be finding
a vocalistthe vocalistsAnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 129d
King Lear.
It's only the first act, though. You'll be fine.
wuffah@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 129d
Perform vaginal sex upon Mrs. Obama as Mr. Obama pumps his fist and chants “Yes we can!”
zeejoo@thelemmy.club · 64 pts · 129d
wuffah@lemmy.world · 58 pts · 129d
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 48 pts · 129d
Y'all think you're gonna bang Michelle while Barack watches but it's really gonna be Barack banging YOU while Michelle watches.
FishFace@piefed.social · 10 pts · 129d
Is that really so bad?
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 9 pts · 129d
No. In fact, that makes it better imo.
TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 128d
In this room with two dicks, I'm not the one with two holes...
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 3 pts · 128d
"I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream"
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 33 pts · 129d
I find Michelle to be attractive, so I'd say yes. Unless Mr. Obama is also looking to get freaky, then probably no.
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml · 16 pts · 129d
Personally there are exactly 0 US presidents I'd fuck. They do not deserve sex imo
bdonvr@thelemmy.club · 21 pts · 129d
Oh yeah??? So you're telling me if we did a comprehensive review of your comments we wouldn't find any instance of you saying "fuck [president's name]"???
Checkmate, gottem, I rest my case.
sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 128d
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 17 pts · 129d
James Garfield was kind of good looking, I might bottom for him.
faythofdragons@slrpnk.net · 26 pts · 129d
Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the hat
reev@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 129d
Lincoln, but only if I get to wear the beard
starik@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 129d
This is why we needed Kamala
AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 129d
He just wants to watch.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 10 pts · 129d
Oh, that's okay then.
DoubleDongle@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 129d
Would. Both of them.
Okokimup@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 129d
Some experiences are just so crazy, you have to say yes, given the opportunity, so that freakiness can be born into the universe through you.
Burninator05@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 129d
You're not going to not take the Obamas up on a threesome. That kind of opportunity doesn't knock twice.
starik@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 129d
Careful before you commit; we haven’t seen them in a while.
m3t00@piefed.world · 15 pts · 129d
go for the weed w/presidential seal. 🎡
Una@europe.pub · 14 pts · 129d
Do not accept, he only offers 420 do not accept anything less than 69420
Rakudjo@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 129d
Wait, he offered you 69420? I got offered 42069, and took it because it seemed like a pretty good deal. Now I have ragrets.
user224@lemmy.sdf.org · 5 pts · 129d
Depends on the use case. If thousands get separated, 69,420 looks nicer. If you want a port number, only 42069 is valid.
shweddy@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 129d
When others go low I get high with the obamas
realitista@lemmus.org · 10 pts · 129d
Opportunity of a lifetime.
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 129d
I am so tired of political spam texts. Now they're political spam sexts.
Korne127@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 129d
yes!
Cellari@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 129d
What a nice polite man!
melfie@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 129d
At least there would be more eye witnesses to help debunk Joan Rivers’ conspiracy theory.
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 129d
Seeing Michelle dancing to that Bruno Mars song on the Ellen show was, um, nuts.
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 129d
Hit it and STOP it
sanbdra@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 128d
Not gonna lie, I had to read that twice to make sure I wasn’t dreaming 😂
Mwa@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 129d
Yes