Do dictators... drop the act when they meet up in private?

I am going to go all Goodwin Godwin (edited) here: I just yesterday heard a snippet of a voice recording of Hitler discussing the Finnish winter war with their PM. The recording wasn't supposed to happen, somebody forgot to hit stop on the recorder and then stashed it away. The man sounded like just another guy at the bar.

To varying degrees this probably applies to all heads of state and government. If they don't derive any advantage from being the bully in the interaction and they're reasonably sure only trusted ears are listening they talk normally.

I remember Obama being caught on a hot mic at a summit talking with then Russian president at the grace of Putin, Medvedev, saying something like: "I have the midterms coming up. Tell Vladimir that after that I can cut him some more leeway." That's the kind of horse trading we're not hearing about normally. But it happens, and in normal language.

Dictators may have a much smaller circle of trusted ears. So Putin and Kim probably don't go full locker room: "So, Vlad, my homie, you're really running a fucking meat grinder in the donbass, aren't you!" - "Fuck you, your starving dwarf soldiers are also ending up in the sausage, motherfucker." And then they laugh and pat each other on the back and order shots. But I'm sure they make fun of the orange.

You don't get be dictator if you ever drop the act

I dunno, the group chat that one journalist was accidentally added to sounded pretty delusional to me, if I recall correctly.

with other dictators, most likely. because they know they are full of shit with each other. but with others, they have to act.

In all my private and personal meeting with dictators I find that they’re a bit different but they never stop jockeying to be “alpha”. Most have that narcissistic brain that tells them to use everyone around them to feel superior because no one but them is actually real.