After my vasectomy I stopped jacking off to the Teletubbies and started making my own NFTs featuring Mr Burns telling Smithers to suck his dick. Best decision I ever made, can't reproduce and I made a ton of money. It's a shame I didn't get to live to enjoy it all, 3 days ago I died from an overdose in a Walmart fitting room.
A coworker at happy hour told us he had to be fully anesthetized cuz despite being sedated and numbed his boys were still hyper responsive and would retract up against him every time the doctor started getting close lmao
Dropping pants in front of the Dr and his female nurse was the most freaky part. But I quickly relaxed into it.
Make sure you bring one of those soft gel freezer bags to shove into your underwear for the trip home.
Nah, cone of shame is always on the part that agitates the area. The vast majority of dogs/cats with a cone of shame didn't have surgery anywhere near their head.
Except that after about 48 hours or so, it’s on… gotta flush those pipes… I was told 30 ejaculations before I needed to go in and provide a sample to verify sterility.
A vasectomy has no effect on your penis and you actually have to ejaculate as much as possible over the following 3 months to clear all the semen out of your system.
34 Comments
TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 46 pts · 148d
That is not where the cone goes
starik@lemmy.zip · 76 pts · 148d
Yeah it goes around your mom’s neck
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 148d
That doesn't make sense? She's way too fat to lick herself anymore?
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 33 pts · 148d
Why did they give bro that speaker icon irl?
funkajunk@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 148d
1738
silver@das-eck.haus · 2 pts · 148d
Handheld fetty wap, imagine what we could do with this technology
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 148d
After my vasectomy I stopped jacking off to the Teletubbies and started making my own NFTs featuring Mr Burns telling Smithers to suck his dick. Best decision I ever made, can't reproduce and I made a ton of money. It's a shame I didn't get to live to enjoy it all, 3 days ago I died from an overdose in a Walmart fitting room.
AZX3RIC@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 148d
What a ride.
muxika@piefed.muxika.org · 6 pts · 148d
That's enough internet for me. Everybody, go home.
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 148d
I'm already home, where should I go
billybob@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 148d
You’re doing great!
Luis_StieglLorbeer@lemmy.dorfrollenspiel.de · 3 pts · 148d
How good is the internet connection in the afterlife?
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 147d
Okay, but the image idea for those NFTs is fantastic. Smithers would be so into that.
homes@piefed.world · 14 pts · 148d
So much easier just being gay, just sayin’
😛
edit: sorry, guys-- I shouldn't be joking about other men's balls 🤪
SippyCup@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 148d
But I like boobies.
Kolanaki@pawb.social · 9 pts · 148d
Date fat men.
Venat0r@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 148d
or trans women
homes@piefed.world · 5 pts · 148d
sure... so do i... although, I'm guessing not for the same reasons you do 😁
Blackout@fedia.io · 12 pts · 148d
I'm going for mine next week. Can't wait!
SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social · 9 pts · 148d
Oh my god, I've been reading "I'm going for nine". Nine what? Children? Get a cone of shame you maniac!
nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 148d
No more happy little accidents?
Blackout@fedia.io · 8 pts · 148d
No woman shall have my seed!
nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 148d
I hope the username won’t check out btw
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 148d
it's a pretty mild procedure. Nerve wracking, but the pain level overall is quite low. I was more stressed than anything.
prettybunnys@piefed.social · 1 pts · 148d
A coworker at happy hour told us he had to be fully anesthetized cuz despite being sedated and numbed his boys were still hyper responsive and would retract up against him every time the doctor started getting close lmao
nevetsg@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 148d
Dropping pants in front of the Dr and his female nurse was the most freaky part. But I quickly relaxed into it.
Make sure you bring one of those soft gel freezer bags to shove into your underwear for the trip home.
mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 148d
the trip back is probably when i will be glad we have air suspension
realitista@lemmus.org · 5 pts · 148d
you're supposed to put it on the injured part
LurkingLuddite@piefed.social · 11 pts · 148d
Nah, cone of shame is always on the part that agitates the area. The vast majority of dogs/cats with a cone of shame didn't have surgery anywhere near their head.
realitista@lemmus.org · 3 pts · 148d
You're right I'm an idiot.
jjagaimo@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 148d
The cone prevents the grasper from touching the injured area
Venat0r@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 148d
nah it just needs to be effective at stopping the injurious behavior: it should be like a giant tutu to be effective...
zigmus64@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 148d
Except that after about 48 hours or so, it’s on… gotta flush those pipes… I was told 30 ejaculations before I needed to go in and provide a sample to verify sterility.
Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 147d
A vasectomy has no effect on your penis and you actually have to ejaculate as much as possible over the following 3 months to clear all the semen out of your system.