She went on a first date and the thing that stood out the most as a positive is that he was willing to spend money on her?
Fuck that. Youre not hyping up the man, you're hyping up his wallet (on contributing to the ongoing commodification and transactional nature of relationships)
Wow, /relationship_advice much? They should get divorced, lawyer up and hit the gym.
I’m not installing twiXter to read the whole story. But let’s flip this - what if he paid with the expectation to get laid?
Still jumping on the “after his wallet” bandwagon?
Or, maybe, try this on for size: They’re both decent people, he surprise paid for the books as a very kind gesture without any expectations on either of their parts. And it would be a surprise to have someone do that, so maybe she makes a surprised comment about it?
He might tried to pay for sex, we don't know. She certainly posted what she posted. We can't judge him as we know nothing. We can judge her for what she said. 2 people can be bad/good people while we only have data on 1 of them.
The reason why some people aren't happy with her post.
I would never hype up a man
Sounds a bit hostile. Like why go on a date with a man when your attitude is kind of hostile even while retelling the positive experience with that man?
Then she "hypes him up" by pointing at the money that he spent on her. Nothing else.
So she doesn't want to hype a man but when he provide her with wealth.
That is what she said.
He might be a incel... who knows. We don't and we don't need to know to judge her.
If your first date is someone buying you things, not like an experience together like a coffee or a movie, then you're really setting the tone to being purely transactional. That it's books gives it some caché but it doesn't really change the issue.
I mean, a book store date really isn't that bad. It gives you tons of easy opportunities to talk about each other's interests. The atmosphere is often very relaxed, it isn't loud so you can actually hear each other. It doesn't have to end with one person buying books for the other, but it can.
They shared one event from a date - and an incomplete one at that, you don't know what books, how many, where, etc - and you promptly made up your own fantasy and then decided that made them a bad person.
I had this long term girlfriend that loved gardening. I took her to the local garden store and said shop and enjoy. Cost me near $1000 that day, but the random ‘happy’ sex for those next few weeks was pristine. Bonus, more than half of what she bought she used at my house which looked amazing for all 5 months of warm weather as all these flowers and formerly rough areas just looked amazing with mulch, and trim and full grass… worth every penny.
I miss her some times… but she loved to lie, like A LOT, and I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
I'm currently digging out a path through 4 inch tree roots so I can lay down pavers and connect two areas that should have been connected 46 years ago. I'd love a trip to the garden store just to get some better dedicated tools to rip up the land.
Fortunately my wife always tells the truth. But I did date a full blown list for 5 years. No fun.
my comment sure was controversial? and I'm just happy people for passionate about a book, paperback or hardback. I'll take the hit. I'm more comfortable reading on a ereader that supports the dyslexia font, I'd eat through books if they had that option. I find I like some books more than others and the ones that are meaningful to me become a hunt for the hardback of it. I have a lot more paperbacks of course.
52 Comments
gmtom@lemmy.world · 188 pts · 111d
She went on a first date and the thing that stood out the most as a positive is that he was willing to spend money on her?
Fuck that. Youre not hyping up the man, you're hyping up his wallet (on contributing to the ongoing commodification and transactional nature of relationships)
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · -19 pts · 111d
Wow, /relationship_advice much? They should get divorced, lawyer up and hit the gym.
I’m not installing twiXter to read the whole story. But let’s flip this - what if he paid with the expectation to get laid?
Still jumping on the “after his wallet” bandwagon?
Or, maybe, try this on for size: They’re both decent people, he surprise paid for the books as a very kind gesture without any expectations on either of their parts. And it would be a surprise to have someone do that, so maybe she makes a surprised comment about it?
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de · 24 pts · 111d
I would be on your side but...
He might tried to pay for sex, we don't know. She certainly posted what she posted. We can't judge him as we know nothing. We can judge her for what she said. 2 people can be bad/good people while we only have data on 1 of them.
The reason why some people aren't happy with her post.
Sounds a bit hostile. Like why go on a date with a man when your attitude is kind of hostile even while retelling the positive experience with that man?
Then she "hypes him up" by pointing at the money that he spent on her. Nothing else.
So she doesn't want to hype a man but when he provide her with wealth.
That is what she said.
He might be a incel... who knows. We don't and we don't need to know to judge her.
SnoringEarthworm@sh.itjust.works · 122 pts · 111d
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz · 10 pts · 111d
He’s either in love or downbad af
roserose56@lemmy.zip · 55 pts · 111d
Poor guy.
MarkRobson@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 111d
lol I know right? guy’s in love
MBech@feddit.dk · 55 pts · 111d
Why would she never hype up a man? Sounds super sexist.
liuther9@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 111d
Brainwashed sexist dummies
endless_nameless@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 111d
My first thought as well
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 111d
I'll do you one better. I'll buy you paperbacks and rebind them the colour and design you want
lobut@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 111d
Hey! With that suave, save some for the rest of us!
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 111d
Don't worry been taken the last 7 years
fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 111d
Even... black, green or red leather (or fake leather) cover, with gold writing?
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 111d
Pretty much yeah. I don't have leather around but I just finished one in red linen and gold writing a couple days ago
fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk · 4 pts · 111d
Sounds lovely!
Also, that definitely would have seduced me back in the day - so I can confirm that is indeed "one better".
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 111d
Yeah I just have to figure out a book to do this for my gf. So far I have only done my own books.
JimmyMcGill@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 111d
Imma need a photo
It’s like the cat tax
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 111d
This is the last one. I do need to get a bit more tigthly woven fabric because this one is a bit hard to get the golden detailing on consistently
This is another.
JimmyMcGill@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 111d
Oh the hobbit one especially looks great! (apart from the typo 🙈🙈🙈)
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 111d
It's not a typo. The book is not in english
JimmyMcGill@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 110d
I’m glad!!
Mpatch@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 110d
Oufff that's gota suck. So close.
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 110d
It's not in english
moon@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 108d
This is so cool. How does one learn this skill? I'd love to get into this but I wouldn't even know what to search for
Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 108d
Here is a yt playlist with the basics
moon@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 107d
Thank you!!
BaroqueW@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 111d
If your first date is someone buying you things, not like an experience together like a coffee or a movie, then you're really setting the tone to being purely transactional. That it's books gives it some caché but it doesn't really change the issue.
OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 110d
I mean, a book store date really isn't that bad. It gives you tons of easy opportunities to talk about each other's interests. The atmosphere is often very relaxed, it isn't loud so you can actually hear each other. It doesn't have to end with one person buying books for the other, but it can.
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 110d
it would take a lot of books to bribe me into marriage....
but I'm willing to see where it goes.
Taleya@aussie.zone · -1 pts · 110d
No.
They shared one event from a date - and an incomplete one at that, you don't know what books, how many, where, etc - and you promptly made up your own fantasy and then decided that made them a bad person.
nodiratime@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 110d
Yet it was the event that was mentioned first and if the thread ends there — the only thing worth mentioning.
Taleya@aussie.zone · 0 pts · 110d
Fallacy.
skhayfa@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 111d
Pro-tips: bring her to the public library and spoil her rotten week after weeks
FauxPseudo@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 111d
One day I took my wife out for a date night that included Mexican food and an all she could buy trip to Dollar Tree. She spent $24.
Stupidmanager@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 110d
I had this long term girlfriend that loved gardening. I took her to the local garden store and said shop and enjoy. Cost me near $1000 that day, but the random ‘happy’ sex for those next few weeks was pristine. Bonus, more than half of what she bought she used at my house which looked amazing for all 5 months of warm weather as all these flowers and formerly rough areas just looked amazing with mulch, and trim and full grass… worth every penny.
I miss her some times… but she loved to lie, like A LOT, and I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
FauxPseudo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 110d
I'm currently digging out a path through 4 inch tree roots so I can lay down pavers and connect two areas that should have been connected 46 years ago. I'd love a trip to the garden store just to get some better dedicated tools to rip up the land.
Fortunately my wife always tells the truth. But I did date a full blown list for 5 years. No fun.
massacre@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 111d
Legend.
swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 111d
I tried to do this recently. She cancelled the date.
khannie@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 111d
Date evolution in action. This could be a great filter.
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 111d
Maybe she's an audiobook fan.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 111d
So he got her hard?
Fredselfish@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 111d
My first date was at the book store, but reverse it. She buys my books anytime we go to a book store. She awesome.
fanatic_entity@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 111d
thisbenzingring@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 111d
hardback just says it's meant to last forever. Paperbacks just feel like they are for consumption and only survive a handful of reads
she found a winner in that dude
Micromot@piefed.social · 28 pts · 111d
In my experience paperbacks get read more and shared more often because hardcovers tend to be expensive and have a pretty design
RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 111d
Right, but the key words are 'first date' and 'he paid'.
thisbenzingring@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 111d
my comment sure was controversial? and I'm just happy people for passionate about a book, paperback or hardback. I'll take the hit. I'm more comfortable reading on a ereader that supports the dyslexia font, I'd eat through books if they had that option. I find I like some books more than others and the ones that are meaningful to me become a hunt for the hardback of it. I have a lot more paperbacks of course.
Grimy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 111d
Harder to throw in a bag on your way out. I'm a big fan of e-readers for this reason.
Micromot@piefed.social · 3 pts · 111d
I feel like digital epub files are just the evolution of paperbacks in means of convenience for reading and sharing
Anivia@feddit.org · 5 pts · 111d
Paperbacks are also just much less comfortable to hold
Beetschnapps@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 110d
“I would never hype up a man but…”
Well okay, then I guess lady… you aren’t needed here… you know since we address human beings.