Edit: apparently I haven't been getting comment notifications on Connect, but this was entirely sarcastic, I am well aware of how unreasonable large even some of the small toys are. I am also intimately aware of how unreasonably large the large size is. It frightens me from the bottom of the tote.
Also based on a quick search that is not the worst thing a mother could see (although granted that would depend on the mom, this one seems chill enough)
They come in a wide variety of sizes, from very small to (as you put it) comically/frighteningly large, so as to cater to most people depending on their preference.
Granted, the theme is usually "creature" (fantasy or real) rather than "human", but that doesn't mean they only have one size for each creature imagined!
No...? If a courier delivers something to my door I look at the name to confirm they live here before signing. Including when I'm expecting a package. Mix-ups happen all the time.
Ah, yes, only non-cis people use sex toys.... It has nothing to do with you being cis, more that you've either never browsed a porn site in the last 20 years or have a very specific kind of site you go where those would never show up, and also don't have fun friends.
lmfao it doesn't really look like you're bothered by it really, imo anyways, but it's such a non-sequitur to point out that you're cis. i think it probably would have been clearer if you'd just said "as a non-furry"
respectfully, there are plenty of suburban white folks who are freaks with it (positive) and wouldn't bat an eye at a bad dragon dildo. you probably could have said "as a vanilla person", also
you're poking fun at it, but i get the feeling you wouldn't take well to having your own lack of sex knowledge made fun of, so i'll leave it at that
44 Comments
OldSageRick@lemmy.zip · 151 pts · 100d
Gives me this vibes
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 131 pts · 100d
Okay but if true moms did an amazing job with this
hateisreality@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 99d
I've got no idea what that is, but it took me far too long to realize that was an amazing toilet paper dress
caseyweederman@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 100d
recursive_recursion@piefed.ca · 98 pts · 100d
Reverse searched and this is what the mom probably saw:
saltnotsugar@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 100d
(Roll for plausible deniability) Mom, it’s just a mushroom model. I’m into….biology.
Noja@sopuli.xyz · 15 pts · 100d
They ship as silicone sculptures =)
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 99d
Mom, I'm on drugs.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.cafe · 8 pts · 99d
Don't worry about it mom, I'm just...a horny slut.
Curiousfur@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 100d
Small. What an absolute coward
Edit: apparently I haven't been getting comment notifications on Connect, but this was entirely sarcastic, I am well aware of how unreasonable large even some of the small toys are. I am also intimately aware of how unreasonably large the large size is. It frightens me from the bottom of the tote.
SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 62 pts · 100d
malle_yeno@pawb.social · 33 pts · 100d
Can we all agree to not joke about people playing within their limits from now on?
northface@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 98d
Hey edgelord, please take your bullying and insecurity issues back to your friends on Reddit please.
BrickEater@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 99d
Household favorite
thatsTheCatch@lemmy.nz · 54 pts · 100d
Aaaaand that's why you mind your own business!
SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 24 pts · 100d
Right? Oh she thought it was shoes? I'm still gonna ask why the fuck she opened someone else's shit!
McGuirk808@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 99d
I'm reading this as she ordered shoes recently and assumed it was her delivery without reading the shipping label.
borkborkbork@piefed.social · 9 pts · 99d
thought it was her bad dragon order.
OldSageRick@lemmy.zip · 47 pts · 100d
Also based on a quick search that is not the worst thing a mother could see (although granted that would depend on the mom, this one seems chill enough)
Enkers@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 100d
Ok, you're going to have to share with the class.
OldSageRick@lemmy.zip · 27 pts · 100d
Its "Nova the Breeder" small, soft or soft shaft firm base
Looks like this(the small one) obviously NSFW
::: spoiler Tap for spoiler
:::
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 99d
I was hoping for a weird giant octopus thing. Like 8 ft across or whatever.
northface@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 98d
What's the reference object to the left supposed to be? A soda can?
OldSageRick@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 98d
Yes normal, as in most common, soda can
thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 32 pts · 100d
Dildo?
unwillingsomnambulist@midwest.social · 52 pts · 100d
Oversized, somewhere in that space between comically and frighteningly.
northface@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 98d
They come in a wide variety of sizes, from very small to (as you put it) comically/frighteningly large, so as to cater to most people depending on their preference.
Granted, the theme is usually "creature" (fantasy or real) rather than "human", but that doesn't mean they only have one size for each creature imagined!
Whitebrow@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 100d
Yes
Eric@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 99d
Manticore@lemmy.nz · 26 pts · 99d
??? It d9esnt matter if you thought it was shoes, you don't open other peoples mail?? In what country is it legal to do that wtf
Liz@midwest.social · 26 pts · 99d
I assume Mom omitted the "my" in front of shoes, like she and expecting her own delivery and just thought it was hers without double-checking.
hateisreality@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 99d
You've never accidentally opened something before you looked at the name, (when expecting something)?
SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 99d
No, because I always check the name first. What the hell is wrong with you people???
fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 99d
lived alone for like 5-6 years before getting housemates again, could definitely see this happening with a mom if you don't order much stuff at home 💀
tautalas@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 99d
Wtf, never
Manticore@lemmy.nz · 5 pts · 98d
No...? If a courier delivers something to my door I look at the name to confirm they live here before signing. Including when I'm expecting a package. Mix-ups happen all the time.
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · 21 pts · 100d
As a cis person ITT:
"OH... Ohh! OH!"
takes notes
Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 74 pts · 100d
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · 16 pts · 100d
Come to think of it, my cock ring hasn't come up too many times at the weekly D&D with the boys. I'll wait on the right storyline.
urheber@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 99d
If youre not paying dick & Dragons yet.... Idk
M137@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 99d
Ah, yes, only non-cis people use sex toys.... It has nothing to do with you being cis, more that you've either never browsed a porn site in the last 20 years or have a very specific kind of site you go where those would never show up, and also don't have fun friends.
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · -2 pts · 99d
Sorry my sexdrive isn't my personality?
SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 99d
Ok, cool. But... What does being cis have to do with not owning a dragon cock dildo??
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · -3 pts · 99d
The venn digram between furry culture and trans culture often times looks like an askew lid on a jar.
I'd also like to point out that just because I've pointed this out, and made fun of/with it, that I don't mind, personally.
but tbh, the blank "What do you mean Hank Hill wouldn't talk about dragon dildos with the boys?" thought was hilarious for a minute
fracture@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 99d
lmfao it doesn't really look like you're bothered by it really, imo anyways, but it's such a non-sequitur to point out that you're cis. i think it probably would have been clearer if you'd just said "as a non-furry"
respectfully, there are plenty of suburban white folks who are freaks with it (positive) and wouldn't bat an eye at a bad dragon dildo. you probably could have said "as a vanilla person", also
you're poking fun at it, but i get the feeling you wouldn't take well to having your own lack of sex knowledge made fun of, so i'll leave it at that
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · 1 pts · 98d
All good, I know I basically walked right up to Rome and made fun of Caesar.
The negative reaction has been expectedly less than I prepared for, all things considered.
Enkers@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 100d
Thanks for reminding me I've got a daki on the way. Time to check the mail every hour.