c/nottheonion · by sundray@lemmus.org · 93d

Two Americans Arrested for Terrifying Baby Monkey Punch in Reckless Promotional Stunt

https://essential-japan.com/news/two-americans-arrested-for-terrifying-baby-monkey-punch-in-reckless-promotional-stunt/

"Punch" is the name of the adorable baby monkey. There was no violence, thankfully. All of the animals are unharmed.

And the point of this idiocy?

It was later revealed that this appalling stunt was orchestrated purely as a promotional gimmick for a cryptocurrency meme coin.

391 points · 64 comments · view on lemmy.world

64 Comments

breezeblock@lemmy.ca · 152 pts · 93d (2 replies)

These fucking morons are not going to learn until they receive real consequences for their actions.

I hope they see real time in a Japanese prison.

raman_klogius@ani.social · 47 pts · 93d (1 reply)

Those 98% conviction rate better work wonders this time!

Sturgist@piefed.ca · 25 pts · 93d

More like 99.9%....

What the 99.9% Figure Actually Measures

The conviction rate tracks only cases where a prosecutor has formally indicted a defendant and brought the case to trial. It does not reflect the outcome of all police investigations, all arrests, or all cases referred to prosecutors. This distinction matters enormously. Japanese prosecutors decline to indict in roughly 60% of cases referred to them by police, meaning fewer than one in three cases that police hand off ever reaches a courtroom.1 The 99.9% applies only to that narrow slice of cases that survived the screening process.

This makes direct comparisons with other countries misleading. In the U.S. federal system, prosecutors indict more than 80% of referred cases, but over 97% of those are resolved through plea bargains where the defendant agrees to plead guilty in exchange for reduced charges or a lighter sentence. If you counted those guilty pleas as convictions the same way Japan counts trial outcomes, the U.S. federal conviction rate would also exceed 99%. The roughly 83% conviction rate Americans typically hear about applies only to contested trials. Japan has no comparable plea bargaining system for most crimes, so nearly all its cases go to a full trial, and the 99.9% figure reflects verdicts after that process.

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 93 pts · 93d

Like America isn't hated enough around the world already.

I hope they throw them in jail for a year. Make an example out of them.

magnetosphere@fedia.io · 47 pts · 93d

This is inexcusable and indefensible. I hope the judge thinks so, too.

AmidFuror@fedia.io · 38 pts · 93d (7 replies)

I thought they punched a baby monkey, which terrified observers.

wieson@feddit.org · 7 pts · 93d (1 reply)

I hate english headlines. I can almost never parse the meaning

imhungry@leminal.space · 3 pts · 84d

I hate english headlines. I can almost never parse the meaning

No, you just hate illiterate people who write English headlines.

Should be,

Two Americans Arrested for Terrifying the Baby Monkey, "Punch," in Reckless Promotional Stunt

The addition of the two commas, the word "the" and quotes around the word "punch" are grammatically necessary and change the meaning of the sentence.

MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 93d

I thought it meant a monkey was punching a baby but it got scared by the stunters (is this a word?)

tomiant@piefed.social · 3 pts · 93d

Like, punching a monkey is already bad but specifically throwing a baby monkey punch at a baby monkey is next level evil. Like how do you even practice such a punch to begin with, you'd have to.... Oooh!

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 93d (2 replies)

That's not what happened, but it doesn't explain why the monkeys face is bloody in the photo

MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 92d (1 reply)

you mean the plushie or the alive monkey?

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 92d

The real monkey has crusted over blood under his nose (and it looks like above their left eye)

IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com · 35 pts · 93d (9 replies)

The globe hates Americans.

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 93d (2 replies)

I pity most Americans

I despise a significant number of them

I spend a lot of time in the US, my fiancée is American

The problem is that even the good people have been beaten into submission

They have given up, because (and this isn't untrue) they see the problems, but they're bigger than what they can deal with when they're stretched close to their breaking point already

This is by design. Those with the power know exactly what they're doing, and it's working.

roker@thelemmy.club · 5 pts · 93d

Where are you from? I just want to live somewhere where my voice matters again.

IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 92d

While I agree with much of that, I think regular Americans are to blame. America became what it is because of the carelessness and naivety of the culture. Americans could have had spines decades and decades ago, but instead chose to live with arrogance as a prided cultural trait.

LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 93d (5 replies)

We make it so easy. :(

D_C@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 93d (3 replies)

I was somewhat ok with you guys until 2016ish, after that then wow. Just wow.
Can you work out why...

LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 9 pts · 93d (1 reply)

My meaning is we make it so easy…to hate us. The country has certainly had lots of issues for…ever. And yes, it’s gotten like exponentially worse since 2016

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 93d

Plenty of us sympathise

If you can get out, then get out

There's a whole world where life isn't shit and cruelty isn't celebrated

IAmYouButYouDontKnowYet@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 92d

I don't even think it's because of him. I used to partake in the left and right dramas, but now I see the entire American culture as something bad for humanity or manipulated for something bad for humanity. And it was in progress before trump, America made trump and he was able to grow under both parties.

I feel like its time to live for humanity and disregard the culture we were groomed into.

Shit, you can even dive deeper since america is a young nation. It really is an experiment and we are the rats. To keep participating in their game is to keep yourself caged. What they offer as freedom is an illusion, a marketed escapism from the situations they create specifically for you to lust for their manmade idea of "freedom".

Lately I've just been watching how people react to these marketed mainstream politics and debates, and just think "you're doing exactly what they need you to do to maintain control over you". People are hooked like junkies on American consumerism and will make up any excuse to to keep their habits. The lifestyles are marketed for reasons because the larger the groups the easier it is to move them. Like even people that consider themselves rebels, free thinkers, and people "fighting the power" are a group that's marketed and can be utilized by the powers for sinister agenda driven gain.

It's not that their are singular provocateurs, it's that the subcultures are already a part of the system they claim they are fighting and were specifically marketed as tools to be used. The nations aren't even the powers to fight, the nations are used by the elite class as tools as well. Most of the world isn't playing the same game as the true powers that lead humanity, they are simply chess pieces moved by the real players of the game that are beyond true law and order, and again beyond nations.

It's like you have the real game of reality and life, and then you have us, a game within the game with its own rules of what reality is that are man-made and not a genuine universal law of order. Like there's the person that used their true freedom to create the factory, and we are living as workers in the factory made to believe it's reality and freedom and we are groomed to believe this is true humanity and freedom.

I found this video about this idea. https://youtu.be/xKJ6NPEDuZA

FosterMolasses@leminal.space · 2 pts · 92d

Yep. Stay classy Americans.

psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 30 pts · 93d

To the team at Ichikawa Zoo: please check your DMs. We would like to donate ¥1,000,000 toward improving the monkey enclosure and supporting the incredible work you do caring for these animals.

In unusable meme coin?

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 30 pts · 93d (6 replies)

I remain confused why a currency needs a community.

MagnificentSteiner@lemmy.zip · 25 pts · 93d

No community means nobody to scam!

Alloi@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 93d (4 replies)

currency is powered by faith. if nobody believes in its value, then it has none.

Lumidaub@feddit.org · 14 pts · 93d (2 replies)

Oh so that's why on 30 April at night we all get together on Blocksberg to chant about how much we love the euro.

wieson@feddit.org · 10 pts · 93d (1 reply)

EUROLIEBE! EUROLIEBE!

MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 93d

EUROLIEBE!!!!!!!!

teyrnon@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 93d

I predict in our lifetimes we will see the end of the faith in the currency.

Decq@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 93d (4 replies)

We really need a global black list for travel for these kinds of assholes. Keep them in their own shithole country and never allow them to leave anymore. Like these guys or for example johnny somali.

quick_snail@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 93d (1 reply)

We already have that. It's weaponized to mostly ban people of Islamic faith.

We shouldn't have such a db

teyrnon@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 93d

Indeed and it will be expanded to include people like me, I might already be on it, because israel.

FosterMolasses@leminal.space · 2 pts · 92d

Easy, just stop letting Americans in (and screen Brits just to be safe)

Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 92d

If they're in jail, they're lot traveling.

No need for some unachievable world wide "asshole no travel list", the authorities of the affected countries just need to do their job properly.

This is one of those things were the victimized nations mostly are self-selecting by not treating people doing this kind of shit hard enough.

kikutwo@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 93d (2 replies)

Hoping to see them in prison.

xylol@leminal.space · 11 pts · 93d (1 reply)

What are you in for?

kikutwo@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 93d

Monkeying around

cybervseas@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 93d (4 replies)

Read the article the "response" from the meme coin Twitter is heinous.

jqubed@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 93d (3 replies)

Post as quoted in the article from the group’s X/Twitter account:

Gmemecoin,

We’re aware of the stunt that took place early this morning, when one of our community members entered the Punch enclosure at Ichikawa Zoo in Tokyo dressed in our mascot costume and carrying a teddy bear version of himself.

First and foremost, we are endlessly grateful for the cult we have built together and for a community that continues pushing boundaries and creating standalone virality out of thin air.

You’re built different.

That said, with our Season 1 Create to Earn campaign going live tonight, we want to remind everyone to respect local laws and never put yourselves, others, or any animals at risk.

Wild energy is part of the culture, but safety always comes first.

We have reviewed the footage from several angles, and we are happy to confirm that no monkey was touched or harmed during the stunt. From what we can tell, the sole intention was to give Punch a fresh new teddy bear to keep him company.

To the team at Ichikawa Zoo: please check your DMs. We would like to donate ¥1,000,000 toward improving the monkey enclosure and supporting the incredible work you do caring for these animals.

We hope you’re as hyped for Season 1 as we are.

Quoted tweet for context.

Memecoin Mode.

EDIT: ¥1,000,000 ≈ US$6,300 or €5,400

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 34 pts · 93d (2 replies)

That’s gross.

queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 93d (1 reply)

It's fun that we can just offer bribes to stifle litigation out in the open now.

prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 93d

Yeah. Funny.

teyrnon@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 93d (3 replies)

The Japanese quite famously do not take kindly to this or other kinds of jackassery.

seejur@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 93d

They let Johnny Somali walk out of Japan though. And the same for that other idiot that is now a boxer.

Let's hope they learned their lesson and this time give out an exemplary punishment

VitoRobles@lemmy.today · 4 pts · 92d (1 reply)

That's a lie. Every time it happens, they slap them on the wrist and sends them on their way.

Korea on the other hand locks them in prison while citizens rough them up.

Japan needs to stop letting "nuisance" folks get away with shit.

teyrnon@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 92d

I defer to you I do not actually know you are correct. I do know how I heard that Japan's cursive system involved execution and that is it. Traditionally. There was like the death penalty and that is it the fuedal in Japan, hard world.

As to the koreans, I worked at a place where there were Koreans and I would wave at them and they would snub me I asked someone and they told me the Koreans are very hierarchical and to not believe in acknowledging existence of those below them. Hold on

Wispy2891@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 93d (1 reply)

Meme Coin? Still working? The latest grift are ai-something, not the old crypto scams

MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 93d

AI can also do crypto now, if I ain't mistaken.

FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 93d

There's a reason why the rest of the world sneers at 'Murica

FosterMolasses@leminal.space · 12 pts · 92d

The dangerous trespassing incident specifically targeted a popular baby Japanese macaque named “Punch”

Okay, the headline out of context had me losing my mind lol

who recently captured the hearts of visitors for adorably hugging and carrying around plush toys.

Fucking pieces of shit.

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 93d (3 replies)

I thought they were arrested for doing a move called a baby monkey punch that was terrifying at first.

bampop@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 92d (1 reply)

At least there was no punching of baby monkeys involved so I'm slightly less outraged than expected

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 92d

It's a bad headline. It really needs a "Named" between "Monkey" and "Punch".

FosterMolasses@leminal.space · 2 pts · 92d

Same lol, I was staring at the headline and the subtitle for a long time trying to parse together if there was a missing comma to figure out the context

RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 92d

Ah, the irony of viral social media outrage at someone attempting to generate viral social media engagement.

Drusas@fedia.io · 6 pts · 93d

Not very Oniony.

LillyPip@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 93d

Monkey loves you. :(

Jesus christ.

inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 93d (4 replies)

This brazen attempt to manufacture online virality at the direct expense of living animals has sparked widespread outrage across social media platforms.

Everyone sees themselves as a theoretical hero rushing to defend animals. Yet most of those people pay for the dismemberment and slaughtering of animals. I'm so tired of the selective outrage.

Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 92d (2 replies)

Dennis Leary: My fluffy little dog.. He's so cute- There's the problem. We only want to save the cute animals, don't we? Yeah. Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually.

Dennis: What are you?

Otter: I'm an otter.

Dennis: And what do you do?

Otter: I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands.

Dennis: You're free to go. And what are you?

Cow: I'm a cow.

Denis: Get in the fucking truck, ok pal!

Cow: But I'm an animal.

Dennis: You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck!

Cow: I'm an animal, I have rights!

Dennis: (pointing at leather jacket) Yeah, here's yer fucking cousin, get on the fucking truck, pal!

Dennis Leary, Dennis Leary: No Cure for Cancer