The spirit world didn't tell her

595 points · 20 comments · view on lemmy.world

20 Comments

Hegar@fedia.io · 48 pts · 127d (1 reply)

I was drunk at a party at a rural art gallery in my 20s and a middle aged woman i didn't know grabbed my hand, looked at it and said with perfect confidence that i needed to be careful driving home because i'd been in a few prangs (australian for car accidents) and had another coming up.

When i replied that i've never driven a car or been in an accident all she could say was "oh".

a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 127d

Now I must remember prangs. It sort of sounds right.

lasta@piefed.world · 32 pts · 127d (2 replies)

I was once invited to join a coffee reading event, to which I responded by asking if I should bring a book or whether they had a specific one in mind. Wish I could say it was was wit, but nope, just genuine confusion lol.

davidgro@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 127d

Huh. Before tapping the link I was beginning to imagine jokes I might tell about it being an event where coffee is the thing being read.
Definitely wasn't expecting it to be exactly that.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 127d

Just read the nutrition info from the back of the bag of coffee

JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 127d (1 reply)

We all wish we could come up with such clever responses right in the moment.

Venator@lemmy.nz · 6 pts · 127d

Yeah I'd probably say something more like "fuck off cunt" 😅

Manjushri@piefed.social · 14 pts · 127d (2 replies)

Psychic: Why don't you come in for a reading?

Me: Shouldn't you already know the answer to that?

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 127d

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 1 pts · 127d

I was thinking that, but more concise:

Psychic: Why don't you come in for a reading?

Me: You don't know?

hansolo@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 127d

Counter point: psychic knew she would say something hilarious, and intentionally asked for the laugh

Akasazh@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 127d (3 replies)

I've never encountered a psychic on the street.

Not that I need any, I just now feel like I'm missing out on something.

m0darn@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 127d (1 reply)

They know to avoid you

Akasazh@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 127d

Hah!

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 127d

There's a big shopping street in the next big city, on which I've definitely seen people try to pitch psychic services.

I've also seen an older guy claiming to be a master offering chess matches for five bucks. I'm not keen on touching piece that who knows how many other people have touched (this was before I started carrying disinfectant in my bag during Covid), and I didn't have the time either, but sometimes I wish I'd played a match just to see how hard he could school me.

And I've seen too many people trying to evangelise. Actually, that should probably count as psychic crap too.

PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 127d

Jared deflects psychic intuition

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 127d

(asked my friend to type this tweet out for me, thanks Kayleigh!)

jimmy90@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 127d

she would know if you're coming in already

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 127d

"Perfect, the dumber, the better!"

NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 127d

No thanks, I'm trying to quit...my last psychic lost all my money in a card game.