intruder alert

346 points · 36 comments · view on lemmy.world

36 Comments

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 75 pts · 85d (4 replies)

Alexa is the intruder itself.

Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 85d (3 replies)

Indeed. Why would anyone use them despite not even getting paid for it but paying for it?

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 6 pts · 85d (1 reply)

Lmao, I assumed it was free spyware, ppl pay for it too? Ayyyroflufocopter.

Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 85d

But hey, it can also switch on your lights and play music. If you also pay for prime :-)

boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 85d

Home Assistant!

BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world · 42 pts · 85d (6 replies)

Then release a dozen roombas

nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz · 28 pts · 85d (5 replies)

With frickin' laser beams attached to their heads

Spezi@feddit.org · 9 pts · 85d (3 replies)

WHERES THE HEAD ON A ROOMBA??? 😳

xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 85d (2 replies)

Opposite the tail

Spezi@feddit.org · 5 pts · 85d (1 reply)

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W̵̧͚͔͖͇̝͕͚̪̝̫̫̼͋͜ͅͅḤ̸̢̡̧͚̖̞̜̟̝͎͎̰̫̪̰̗̳͍̪͙̣͚̤̞̈͑̊̅̐̿̄̉̾͂͋̚͘͝͝Ë̵̺̼͈̭̼̪͕̟̯̖̠̩̝̖́͋̀͋͂̿̇̑̎̑̉́̅͂̾̎͛̚R̵̢̛̬͎̼̮͍̹̭̼̈̐̋̐̋͋͊̒̌͒͘̕͘͝ͅE̷̢̛͓͙̤̺̱͕̯͔͙̫̠̮̘̠̭͙̭͓̗̼͓̼͖̦̙̥̻̟̦͒͆̈́̎͆͐̃͛͒̀̈́͊̋̿̈́̄̃̆͒͐̿̋̓̑́͒͘͘̚̕͜͜͝͠͝͝ͅͅS̷̡̢̨̧̛͔̯̦̺̯̹̠̪̒̈́̉̎͆̔͗̏͂͠ͅ ̷̢͎̙̜̫͚̰̙̙̅́̿̉̿̒̂͊͂̃̋̀̅̒͋͆̔̈̋̈́̔̋͝͠ͅT̴̡̨̢̢̰̘̜͖̯̹͚̜̯̖̖̲̰͍̯̮̲̙̟̰̩̪̱͔̩̺̞͖̫̖̋́̉̿̈́̓͗̍̒̇̆̈́̾͛̎̊̈́́̍̈̂̀͌̋̀̄͊̌̋͗͒̀̕̚͘͜͝͠͝͝Ḧ̸̢͎́̋̌̾͗̑́̓͒̈́̇́̒͂̿̇̆̅̈͊̐̓̄̀̊̚̚͝͝͝͠͝Ę̸̡̲̪͔͎̱͉̯̹͔̜̮̗̤̫̦̞̤͎̗̖́͐̀̄͆̂̀̓̒̿͗͐̈͌͗̏̓̅͜ ̶̡̢̛̟̙̗̩̝̮̤͛̎͒̇͌̏̄̉̀̈́̀̽̔̅̉̚F̷̨̖̰͎̟͎͔͔͓̻͔̤̥͔͒̍̀͊̌̒͂̔̍̐͑̃̄̈́͌̿͊͆̓̆́͜͝Ư̷̧̧̥̘̹̘͖̣̞̹̳̾̎̈̀͜C̷̼͒̈̅̉͑͊̐̌̽̒̀͐̋̚͝K̸̢̧͎̞͍̝͍͎̥̬͓̱͙̦̠͓̜̣̣̜̤̩̫͕̻̟̪̿̔͑̂̈͒̈́͛̈̌̈́̃̓̆͋̄̒̓̔͗̈́̆̄̅̅̃̚̚̚͜Į̴͔͉͉̮͕̗̞̮̼̠͚͍̯̫̼͓̜̠̙̼̺̥̲̦͕͎̱̞̑̓̑̀̒̆͛́͊͗̾̌̇͒͒̀̌̂́͒́̊̉͠ͅŅ̶̡̧̤̰̜̺͔̱̙̤̫͇̼̳̫̤͖͇̪̣͍̘̩̬̞͈͓̘̖̝̲̓͐͂̾̔͂̔ͅͅͅG̸̰̯̠̬̐̎̾̏̂̉́̉͊̅͑͊̍̉͐̈́̎̈̌̍͋͗̑̀̽͊̏̄̈́͘̕͘͘͝ ̷̨̧̹̖̣͉̖͔̩̯͑̾̎̂̊͊́̓̉̑͘͘͝͝͝͝T̸̡̻͓̬̻̜̹̠̭͙̞̩̦̜͇͈̦̖̖̞̫̫̭̱͓̝̭͓̼̯͍̩̝̫͑̽͊͒͑̾͊̓̌͗̚̕̚͜͝͠ͅA̴͙̗̦̱̣̗͕͉͆̈́̚ͅȊ̷̧̧̢̢̧̢̗̱͓̗͈̟̠̩̳͙̹̠̜͎̬̞̯͕͕̺̭̖͈̗͓̺̣͚̖̄͒̆̀̌͜Ḻ̷̨̢̦̦̦͕͇͙͚̙̜͎̙͔̯̺͖͖̳͙̝͔̗̬̯̃̎̋͂͆̒̾̿

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MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 85d

Posterior to the head.

elephantium@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 85d

You know, I had one simple request

jlow@slrpnk.net · 36 pts · 85d (1 reply)

Now redo it in HomeAssistant and with selfhosted music to get rid of the surveillance in your home.

spicehoarder@lemmy.zip · 24 pts · 85d

The intruder was Alexa

HikingVet@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 85d (4 replies)

Well, this break and enter has turned into an execution for the mashing of IP.

The TOS Kirk v. Hostile alien music would be more appropriate. The Borg never threatened to kill, they aren't Ingo Montoya.

lime@feddit.nu · 7 pts · 85d (1 reply)

with jim carreys cable guy version dubbed over top

Death__BySnuSnu@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 85d

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaahhhhh!!!

SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 85d

*Bingo Montoya

Rivalarrival@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 85d
Bytemeister@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 85d

Fuck that noise.

You want a fight? You better be blasting Duel of the Fates, otherwise I don't want any.

Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 85d (3 replies)

I always thought it'd be cool to build one of those remote controled nerf tanks but with a paintball gun. Then set it to patrol the house. It's a lot more doable now that I'm running home assistant but I'm still not sure how yo make it happen.

pipe01@programming.dev · 7 pts · 85d

Sounds like something Michael Reeves would make

daannii@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 85d

I believe in your dream and I hope one day you can make this happen.

Dhs92@piefed.social · 2 pts · 85d

With pepperballs

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 84d

You should really consider never using Alexa again.

Seriously, this is Spyware in your home for Amazon, and they work with and share their data with law enforcement.

Rivalarrival@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 85d

I prefer Ride of the Valkyries to Imperial March.

Does the floor lamp have a "strobe" mode?

ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 85d (1 reply)

Imperial March is out of sorts here. The alert the message and then a John Williams march? Get some audio to set the mood, like No Love by Death Grips or Caledonia by Cro-Magnon.

CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 85d

Yakety sax and have a robot shoot paintballs with gentian violet die. (Doesn't wash off, if you use enough it will soak through clothes so masks aren't so useful.)

stolig@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 85d

Also deploy disco ball from ceiling

socsa@piefed.social · 6 pts · 85d

This is actually a better home protection plan than "have loaded guns in every room in case I need to draw on the baddies stealing my Xbox as they barge into my living room and I dive behind the sofa." It will scare 9/10 burglars away, and it gives you an opportunity to set up a defensive position without noise giving it away.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 85d

Thisiswherethefunbegins.wav

tired_n_bored@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 84d

My alarm is seriously like that! I put an air raid siren

HuePony@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 85d (1 reply)

Red spy in the base?

waterproof@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 85d

What're you? President of his fan club?

AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 85d

Really confuse them, use this version of the Imperial March

https://youtu.be/B9MShtCg4fk

Sounds like an American WWII propaganda song

Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club · 1 pts · 85d

Say "I'm gonna do to you what Janeway should have done to Tuvix at the start of the episode."

Play "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows - 12 hour version"