Absolution now 50% off

366 points · 25 comments · view on lemmy.world

25 Comments

tiny_hedgehog@piefed.social · 39 pts · 84d (3 replies)

Hi Jesus.ai. I did a bad thing: I embezzled funds from a children’s cancer charity and pocketed them. Was this wrong?

Unravelling…

Yes, this was perhaps unethical. You shouldn’t have done that.

Are you sure? I mean, I needed the money. I needed to buy a Porsche.

Discombobulating…

Ah! Yes! You are right to push back. I did not have all the information. If you needed the money for a new Porsche, then you were right to seize that opportunity. Well done.

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 83d (1 reply)

Tattorack@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 83d

No one fucks with a the Jesus!

6244901@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 83d

Yayy thank you Jesus ai 🫶🏻 next time I will aim higher and get a Bugatti :)

P1k1e@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 83d (1 reply)

Some next level blasphemy. How many meta levels of idolatry does this count as

Edit: removed "Made" from second sentence

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 6 pts · 83d

Let's see what transgressions I can find. Given the mention of "confession" and my limited familiarity with orthodox faiths, I'll base it on Roman Catholicism.

First, you obviously have making a false image of god. Given Leo's recent rebuke of using AI to dominate and wasting resources (God's creation) for unethical uses, I'd say using AI for a pretend-Jesus counts as two sins.

If we're talking about confession in particular, there is also the fact that only ordained priests are allowed to take confession, or more specifically, administer the Sacrament of Penance. Unless there is an urgent need (such as the impending death of the penitent), that priest also needs explicit permission from his religious superior (such as the local bishop) to administer it. This puts us at three, four if we count the lack of permission separately.

I'm assuming that there will also be a motive of greed attached (as opposed to absolutions sold by the church, ostensibly to raise money for God's work, where the purpose would distinguish it from doing so for personal gain).

Then there is the fact that it may trick the faithful into thinking they have done their penance and unwittingly violating the requirement to receive the SoP at least once per year in order to receive the Sacrament of Communion, which would invalidate that as well.

All in all, it makes for quite the impressive tally:

Unordained Administration of the Sacrament of Penance by an idol of the Son of God fashioned from a technology for domination and personal enrichment through deception of the faithful, leading them away from God and cheating them out of communion.

Methinks Papa Leo should be handing out excommunications. Provided there's even any catholics behind this mess.

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 10 pts · 84d
Zerush@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 83d
LordDaveTheKind@piefed.social · 9 pts · 84d (2 replies)

Isn't this something the Pope actually disregarded about?

30p87@feddit.org · 4 pts · 84d (1 reply)

Yeah. But said churches are not christian anymore, they have elevated to fascism.

captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 83d

Also the pope is only in charge of Catholicism

bangupjobasusual@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 84d (3 replies)

lol I thought about doing this, but mostly in a cynical asshole way. Super fun that some idiot did it in earnest

PugJesus@piefed.social · 6 pts · 84d (2 replies)

Deus ex machina

luciferofastora@feddit.org · 2 pts · 83d

More like "Machina pro Deo" – Machine in place of God

bangupjobasusual@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 84d

lol excellent

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 84d

Religion has always been a grift.

Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 84d (1 reply)

bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 2 pts · 81d

What's wrong?

apple_train@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 83d

Lmao in cyberpunk there are christian vending machines for exactly this.

FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 84d (1 reply)

Probably some wacky megachurch, tbh, which we already knew was bad

PugJesus@piefed.social · 6 pts · 84d

I wouldn't underestimate the ability of small churches to pander in shitty ways.

Windex007@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 83d

Alright I've got the 96th Thesis

wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 83d

Is this the anti-christ?

panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 83d

God made the hebrews wander the desert for 40 years for less.

Honestly, maybe we need that if we think this is a good idea.

turdburglar@piefed.social · 2 pts · 84d

time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana.