I know exactly how bad it is even without being naked from squatting to piss in the woods or in the car. I don't have a penis though. Ever try to piss in a bottle in a moving car without one? I don't recommend it.
My mother went on a ladies' hiking trip, and I'm not sure which one they got (all I know is it was milsurp so if you used one in the service, that one) but they found the female urinal pretty easy to use after the second or third try.
They were new to peeing standing up so I had to do my duty (heh) and remind the group about wind and spatter.
I was trying to find the damn article but I can't dammit. It's about how if you put a sticker that looks like a fly in the right spot in a urinal then people will try to pee the fly away. Which keeps piss off the floor.
It's a legitimate scholarly economics article which is the funniest part. I know the author and he thought he would never be publishing about how to get people to piss straight.
Do you have a copy? If it's the same paper I'm thinking of he literally left economics because his department started calling him the piss economist after this.
Only mildly related but during COVID I loved the comparison of wearing masks and peeing in proximity to people.
If you're 1 foot apart, and neither of us is wearing pants, I'll pee all over you. If neither is wearing pants but we're 6 feet apart, and the very worst you might get minor splashed on your shoes. If we're within a foot, and only you are wearing pants, I'll piss all over your pants. If only I'm wearing pants, I'll piss myself. If we're both wearing pants, then it doesn't matter who pisses their pants it'll all be contained.
Good point! I've probably peed off more boats than in the woods (or yard, as the case may be).
Always down wind.
2.(If possible) aim for something that can bend while it breaks the stream (something rigid, like a tree trunk, can result in spashback)
Same thing while wearing shorts tbh. It's basically a mist rising and covering everything in range of the bowl. A pisst if you will (forgiven if you don't. I wouldn't)
Always sit down, it's better for everyone. Except for urinals, obviously, but you got some other stuff to deal with if you're naked at a place with urinals.
46 Comments
OldSageRick@lemmy.zip · 91 pts · 78d
Thats a skill issue, never had that problem
(I piss sitting down)
snoons@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 77d
My roommate is greasy and overweight; I want to sit down to pee but that would end up costing too much in bathroom cleaner.
astar26@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 77d
How do you shit?
PainInTheAES@lemmy.world · 80 pts · 77d
It's only when you poo standing that you realize how much you spatter
Jax@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 77d
The cycle of life, and death. Born to shit, forced to wipe.
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 77d
That first shart is like a shotgun
PainInTheAES@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 77d
You mean a shartgun
But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d
Bird shot super spread
fartographer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d
I'll allow it
flint@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 77d
I was going to say shitgun, but it felt too on the nose. You sir/ma'm found the sweetspot [chef's kiss]
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d
This is Sea Parks reminder to all guests that the first three rows are a splash zone
Bratosch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d
Slug or buckshot?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 77d
You know what don't tell me I'll figure it out. First you shoot your slug, then you go buck. Right? That sounds right.
snoons@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 77d
I clean the toilet seat with the blood of my enemies.
frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io · 22 pts · 78d
I know exactly how bad it is even without being naked from squatting to piss in the woods or in the car. I don't have a penis though. Ever try to piss in a bottle in a moving car without one? I don't recommend it.
Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 77d
https://www.shewee.com/how-to-use/
Mac@mander.xyz · 5 pts · 77d
Freshette
Fenis
SaniGirl (Disposable)
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d
My mother went on a ladies' hiking trip, and I'm not sure which one they got (all I know is it was milsurp so if you used one in the service, that one) but they found the female urinal pretty easy to use after the second or third try.
They were new to peeing standing up so I had to do my duty (heh) and remind the group about wind and spatter.
CluckN@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 77d
Pshh, I’ve gotten so good at pissing I can curve the stream like in Wanted.
deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 11 pts · 77d
That's one of the best terrible movies I've ever seen.
CluckN@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 77d
Consider yourself lucky that you’re not smoking a cigarette behind a pillar within a 2.4 foot radius of me.
deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 77d
Phew. I don't smoke, so I guess I'm safe.
Bratosch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 77d
Such blasphemy will not be tolerated
icelimit@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 74d
This is a good description. I've more than once just stared cross-eyed at various pieces of clothing to look for stitching errors.
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 77d
The Last Peebender.
PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 77d
Aim for the water. The side of the bowl splashes way more
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 10 pts · 77d
I was once asked why I aim for the water if it's noisier. This is why
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 77d
I was trying to find the damn article but I can't dammit. It's about how if you put a sticker that looks like a fly in the right spot in a urinal then people will try to pee the fly away. Which keeps piss off the floor.
It's a legitimate scholarly economics article which is the funniest part. I know the author and he thought he would never be publishing about how to get people to piss straight.
boonhet@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 76d
I think I've read it before! And I think I've seen it implemented in public urinals.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 76d
Do you have a copy? If it's the same paper I'm thinking of he literally left economics because his department started calling him the piss economist after this.
Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 76d
Only mildly related but during COVID I loved the comparison of wearing masks and peeing in proximity to people.
If you're 1 foot apart, and neither of us is wearing pants, I'll pee all over you. If neither is wearing pants but we're 6 feet apart, and the very worst you might get minor splashed on your shoes. If we're within a foot, and only you are wearing pants, I'll piss all over your pants. If only I'm wearing pants, I'll piss myself. If we're both wearing pants, then it doesn't matter who pisses their pants it'll all be contained.
FiniteBanjo@feddit.online · 5 pts · 77d
Confucious Say
ClownStatue@piefed.social · 4 pts · 77d
Always pee downwind.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 77d
And aim for leaves. If nothing interrupts the stream by the time it hits the ground, you get splashback
ClownStatue@piefed.social · 3 pts · 76d
Good point! I've probably peed off more boats than in the woods (or yard, as the case may be).
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 76d
I have to say though, whizzing off a cliff with the gals is strangely freeing.
grrgyle@slrpnk.net · 4 pts · 76d
Same thing while wearing shorts tbh. It's basically a mist rising and covering everything in range of the bowl. A pisst if you will (forgiven if you don't. I wouldn't)
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 77d
M137@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 76d
Always sit down, it's better for everyone. Except for urinals, obviously, but you got some other stuff to deal with if you're naked at a place with urinals.
Allero@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 76d
Or at least just check if you made any mess and clean up.
Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it · 2 pts · 76d
I swear, if only everyone would sit down...
Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk · 1 pts · 76d
Never forget your daily splash test while in the shower.
tias@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 77d
Always put clothes on before peeing while standing up
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 77d
Is pee on your clothes better?
Unstoppable_Flop@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 77d
Depends if you're into that sort of thing
CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 77d
You and everybody else.