I feel like this is the kind of thing that only happens when you take these items out of your own shopping cart, put them on a shelf and then take a picture of them and post to the internet like "Ha ha guys, isn't this so bizarre?"
No.....I've seen people like this. They take stuff out of their cart, put on the closest shelf, and walk off.
When I was a kid, I'd pick it up, throw it at them, and yell "YOU FORGOT THIS!!!"
I'd always try to aim for the torso. I wanted to hit their head, but I have bad aim. One time I did hit them in the head. Can of green beans. They came over to yell at me, and them my mom got in her face about yelling at her son. Meanwhile I'm behind my moms back making faces.
Then my mom asked "Were you actually throwing things at her?" I said yes. She asked why. I said because she left her mess for someone else to clean. She then told me I had the right idea, but I can't throw stuff at people. I said "Actually I can. Hit her right in the back of the head!"
She just shook her head and said "Not what I meant...."
As someone who thinks the world would be a better place without little shits chucking cans of green beans at people's heads I'm shaking my head, but my inner former retail worker is cheering for the (possibly made up for a joke) little shit with the impressive aim.
Okay, those I get. But the handcuffs? You handcuff Your little sister to the radiator... so she doesn't bother You while you're playing Fortnite, right?
No no no.......the wife requested the pringles can. Your dick goes inside. You get handcuffed to the bed. She gets more girth, you feel nothing.
Then she plays fortnite while sitting on your face. She uses the lotion to wank you, but stops everytime you get close. Then she gives you the sponges, and you can clean the house.
Not sure what that blurry orange bag is. I'm sure it's kinky.
36 Comments
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 115 pts · 72d
I feel like this is the kind of thing that only happens when you take these items out of your own shopping cart, put them on a shelf and then take a picture of them and post to the internet like "Ha ha guys, isn't this so bizarre?"
velma@sh.itjust.works · 56 pts · 72d
They’re even perfectly arranged on the shelf.
cattywampus@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 71d
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 72d
No.....I've seen people like this. They take stuff out of their cart, put on the closest shelf, and walk off.
When I was a kid, I'd pick it up, throw it at them, and yell "YOU FORGOT THIS!!!"
I'd always try to aim for the torso. I wanted to hit their head, but I have bad aim. One time I did hit them in the head. Can of green beans. They came over to yell at me, and them my mom got in her face about yelling at her son. Meanwhile I'm behind my moms back making faces.
Then my mom asked "Were you actually throwing things at her?" I said yes. She asked why. I said because she left her mess for someone else to clean. She then told me I had the right idea, but I can't throw stuff at people. I said "Actually I can. Hit her right in the back of the head!"
She just shook her head and said "Not what I meant...."
bizarroland@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 72d
Something about the way of writing made me, honestly, for a moment, think that your dad was gonna show up and beat you with a set of jumper cables.
West_of_West@piefed.social · 9 pts · 72d
That's where my mind went too
Sprinks@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 71d
It reads how my toddler nephew speaks.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 71d
Nah. Regardless of time of day my dad would have been drunk somewhere. Maybe at home. Maybe at work. Maybe driving between the two.
ikidd@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 71d
RogerSimon10?
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 71d
As someone who thinks the world would be a better place without little shits chucking cans of green beans at people's heads I'm shaking my head, but my inner former retail worker is cheering for the (possibly made up for a joke) little shit with the impressive aim.
lugal@sopuli.xyz · 21 pts · 72d
Wait, sponges?
bzLem0n@lemmy.ca · 54 pts · 72d
The sponges, gloves, Pringles can, and lotion go together to make a DIY fleshlight, apparently.
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works · 38 pts · 72d
Missing the gloves, but still
hOrni@lemmy.world · 62 pts · 72d
Fuck it. I'm living alone, I like pringles. I'm trying this out tomorrow.
ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com · 64 pts · 72d
The world is ending you can just buy a toy
FireRetardant@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 71d
Why buy a toy when you can build a partner. Put googly eyes on the pringles man and watch them roll back as he takes it.
llamapocalypse@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 71d
What a horrible day to be literate
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 71d
Well, they wouldn't need to put googly eyes on him, if the company didn't take the joy, and whimsy out of his eyes.
turtlesareneat@piefed.ca · 12 pts · 71d
A set of $13 silicone fuck rings have me coming like I'm 15 again, highly recommend getting the toys.
marlowe221@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 71d
Go on…
Jtee@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 72d
Your uhhh, Username checks out.
osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org · 10 pts · 72d
Please report back with the results
Johanno@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 71d
The cylinder must not be harmed
hOrni@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 71d
My dick isn't big enough to harm a pringles can.
crank0271@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 71d
Pay close attention to the orientation of those scrubber sponges.
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 71d
Use name checks out
hOrni@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 72d
Okay, those I get. But the handcuffs? You handcuff Your little sister to the radiator... so she doesn't bother You while you're playing Fortnite, right?
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 72d
When I was 5 I handcuffed the neighbor girl behind her back.....then I tickled her.
lugal@sopuli.xyz · 8 pts · 72d
TIL
daannii@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 71d
That doesn't sound cleanable. Just invest in legit one that can be cleaned. But I guess teenagers can't buy sex toys.
Honestly there should be some sex toys available to teenagers.
Like smaller vibrators. Fleshlights. Cause anything too big could be too risky for kids.
But I feel like teenage libido should be acknowledged and they should be given options.
blarghly@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 71d
Okay. I will sit over here, a loooooong way away from you, and let you work. And then you can tell me how making sex toys for teens works out for you.
666dollarfootlong@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 71d
Its not ment to be cleanable, just single use - hence the rubber gloves
zxqwas@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 72d
Or the wife said yes to the request.
Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 72d
Ye but if she isn't cool with my Pringles fucknin bet the sex life is cold
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 72d
No no no.......the wife requested the pringles can. Your dick goes inside. You get handcuffed to the bed. She gets more girth, you feel nothing.
Then she plays fortnite while sitting on your face. She uses the lotion to wank you, but stops everytime you get close. Then she gives you the sponges, and you can clean the house.
Not sure what that blurry orange bag is. I'm sure it's kinky.
Cum_Rag@fedinsfw.app · 9 pts · 71d
I guess they needed the latex gloves
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 71d
Those who know.....