I spoke to my old friend Mitch this morning for just shy of 20 minutes... about the need to need to draw down in IRAN, end student DEBT PERMANANTLY, expand MEDICARE for ALL AMERICAN residents, and even a little bit of Senate history. I told him we want to see him back at work as soon as possible.
The craziest part is that TMZ as far as I'm aware is the only organization that would actually push an investigation hard enough to actually get down to what's going on.
I mean, he was married to a Taiwanese woman who immigrated at 8; he might have spoken some Mandarin while he was still alive even if you don't count his benefactors.
Shit, I don't know which of us got it worse. You being haunted by Temu Ted Cruz, Chip Roy, or me with my mispronunciation that summoned Rahm Emmanuel. Just what I needed in my life: another fucking Zionist...
I don't find him very cartoon-like, so I don't think he'd be susceptible. Or is the implication that he is like Judge Doom and is an evil toon in a rubber suit?
How funny would it be if they just weekend and Bernie's him?
"Hey fellas it's me, just here rot the integrity of your country a little more. Would you look at that, they need me back in Bejing. See you next year!"
Rfk jr sounding like a glob of lava sliding through a steel pipe
Ok so people keep making the weekend at Bernie's comparison about our tip top shape president and all our fine politicians.
I hear you all loud and clear and love the healthy enthusiasm for my personal philosophy that we are all dead, it's the bacteria that live within us that make everything happen. Gutbacteria, the bacteria on our skin, the maggots and parasites,... every living creature props us up and gets us going. So with our beloved Mitch.
Anyway I wanted to take this opportunity to declare it's not just weekends at Bernie's. For us, the republican party, it's parties at Donnies 24/7.
Anyway who wants to chase down a tequila worm without the tequila?
Is it a requirement to be physically repulsive along with having zero spine, zero morals, and being just fine with working with pedophiles in order to be a republican senator...? Just wondering because I see a pattern and it is gross.
56 Comments
JonsJava@lemmy.world MOD · 88 pts · 25d
Reported for:
Yes it is.
green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 56 pts · 24d
Thank you for your attention to this matter
inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world · 63 pts · 25d
Verified.
Source: Trust me sis.
green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 22 pts · 25d
FACT
shittydwarf@piefed.ca · 8 pts · 24d
Confirmed
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 24d
The source needs to be in MLA format.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 24d
zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 24d
If you can't trust Alf, then who can you trust?
fartographer@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 24d
Sis. (1970, January 1). Trust me (inb4_FoundTheVegan, Interviewer) [Interview]. In Lemmy.World. "No cap, fam."
mechoman444@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 24d
This right here is a testament that literally anything can be funny.
gedaliyah@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 25d
I spoke to my old friend Mitch this morning for just shy of 20 minutes... about the need to need to draw down in IRAN, end student DEBT PERMANANTLY, expand MEDICARE for ALL AMERICAN residents, and even a little bit of Senate history. I told him we want to see him back at work as soon as possible.
lennybird@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 24d
Oh, Mitch. You dirty bitch.
BeUnique@lemmy.zip · 42 pts · 25d
Don't tease me like that. Had to Google to find nothing about it.
PlantJam@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 24d
The TMZ logos were a nice touch.
lyrial@anarchist.nexus · 5 pts · 24d
The craziest part is that TMZ as far as I'm aware is the only organization that would actually push an investigation hard enough to actually get down to what's going on.
JcbAzPx@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 24d
Just like the print tabloids of old. The best investigative journalists in the world, but a terrible signal to noise ratio.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net · 29 pts · 24d
Itโs the โlast words in Mandarinโ that give up the game.
taiyang@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 24d
I mean, he was married to a Taiwanese woman who immigrated at 8; he might have spoken some Mandarin while he was still alive even if you don't count his benefactors.
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 24d
But it would be very unusual for someone to speak their dying words in something other than their native language.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 24d
I need to memorize some ancient Sumerian, and then prepare for one last great prank...
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 24d
Come closer children, and hear my final words:
CURSE OF RA ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ก ๐ข ๐ฃ ๐ค ๐ฅ ๐ฆ ๐ง ๐จ ๐ฉ ๐ช ๐ซ ๐ฌ ๐ญ ๐ฎ ๐ฏ ๐ฐ ๐ฑ ๐ฒ ๐ณ ๐ด ๐ต ๐ถ ๐ท ๐ธ ๐น ๐บ ๐ป ๐ผ ๐ฝ ๐พ ๐ฟ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
fartographer@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 24d
Teddy Roosevelt's wax figure starts hitting on a still-groggy Pocahontas
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 24d
aw fuck. i mispronounced and got the curse of Roy
fartographer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 24d
Shit, I don't know which of us got it worse. You being haunted by Temu Ted Cruz, Chip Roy, or me with my mispronunciation that summoned Rahm Emmanuel. Just what I needed in my life: another fucking Zionist...
green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 24d
lololol
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org · 22 pts · 24d
Fake news! His last words were in infernal!
green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 3 pts · 24d
edit: [Story continues to develop; more at 11]
WoodScientist@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 24d
Would be funnier if they were in Esperanto for some reason. Because Esperanto makes anything funnier.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 24d
Because we all know tbat folks that are truly serious about learning a "universal" langauge learn Lojban.
ShredderFeeder@shredderfood.net · 15 pts · 25d
While believable, the world needs to see a corpse.
green_goglin@thelemmy.club · 20 pts · 25d
Weโre manifesting
FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 25d
He melted, there is no corpse just a bucket of goo that Iโm afraid theyโve already dumped down the sink.
OwOarchist@pawb.social · 5 pts · 25d
Well, how hard is it to find a dead turtle? Just show that to the world instead.
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de · 5 pts · 24d
Finding the right screenshot from who framed Roger rabbit is tough. Pretend I found a picture of him melting in the dip.
zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 24d
I don't find him very cartoon-like, so I don't think he'd be susceptible. Or is the implication that he is like Judge Doom and is an evil toon in a rubber suit?
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 24d
Just like the idea of him melting. Maybe in the green dip-like reflecting pool, orange ink spreading from him
Edit: Sorry, wrong politician mental image
Still like the idea of him melting
zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 24d
I am just picturing the witch (Mitch?) melting muttering "what a word, what a word, trickle down economics, but her emails, what a world..."
rethnor@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 24d
How would you be able to tell the difference?
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 24d
he is a lich, so he was a corpse ressurected by a necromancer.
not@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 24d
He has looked like a corpse for at least 20 years.
infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 24d
Nah I'm good, that dude was already rough enough on the eyes when he was alive.
ShredderFeeder@shredderfood.net · 3 pts · 24d
Would it really be that different from a "living" turtle-face?
tacoplease@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 24d
At this point, I'm just happy if he never gets the dignity of a proper funeral.
sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 24d
How funny would it be if they just weekend and Bernie's him?
"Hey fellas it's me, just here rot the integrity of your country a little more. Would you look at that, they need me back in Bejing. See you next year!"
FreddiesLantern@leminal.space · 2 pts · 24d
Rfk jr sounding like a glob of lava sliding through a steel pipe
Ok so people keep making the weekend at Bernie's comparison about our tip top shape president and all our fine politicians.
I hear you all loud and clear and love the healthy enthusiasm for my personal philosophy that we are all dead, it's the bacteria that live within us that make everything happen. Gutbacteria, the bacteria on our skin, the maggots and parasites,... every living creature props us up and gets us going. So with our beloved Mitch.
Anyway I wanted to take this opportunity to declare it's not just weekends at Bernie's. For us, the republican party, it's parties at Donnies 24/7.
Anyway who wants to chase down a tequila worm without the tequila?
DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 11 pts · 25d
Not yet
nightwatch_admin@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 24d
I disagree, always has been.
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 25d
I called him up and all he would say was "Bing Chilling"
somethingsnappy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 24d
Yes, but what flavor?
iocase@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 24d
Speak to Mitch kit: ๐
Dvixen@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 24d
Weekend at Mitch's
Phantaloons@piefed.zip · 5 pts · 24d
HEALING NEWS
I feel better already!
Gammelfisch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 24d
Good riddance and he helped to weaken the USA.
switcheroo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 24d
Is it a requirement to be physically repulsive along with having zero spine, zero morals, and being just fine with working with pedophiles in order to be a republican senator...? Just wondering because I see a pattern and it is gross.
smeenz@lemmy.nz · 2 pts · 24d
Apparently his last words were ็ปไธไผๆพๅผไฝ
DrGonzoLibrarian@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 24d
Going to file that under "D" for duh